When is the right age to start having children?

When is the right age to start having children?

  • 20-25 years old
  • 25-30 years old
  • 30-35 years old

0 voters

My wife and I are starting to get the “where’s the grandkids” stuff. Right now we are both working full-time jobs, saving up money, and getting ready to start travelling in a year or two. To put it bluntly we’re enjoying the hell out of having two incomes and no kids. We’d rather save up for four or five more years, then maybe begin having children. But lots of folks, family and otherwise, seem to think that waiting too long is a bad idea. At what age do you think is the best time to begin having children? Do any of you regret not waiting longer? Or regret waiting too long?

How old is your wife?

If she’s above 30, you might start procreating, as womens fertility tends to taper off in her 30’s.

For the man - the older you get the less energy you have to take care of a screaming baby at 1am 4am and 6am every night.

[quote=“Mr He”]How old is your wife?

If she’s above 30, you might start procreating, as womens fertility tends to taper off in her 30’s.

For the man - the older you get the less energy you have to take care of a screaming baby at 1am 4am and 6am every night.[/quote]

Doesn’t the man’s spermal DNA degrade over time as well? just like any other aging process, multicellular division errors, etc.?

Yes, however the issue is not as acute as for women.

Therefore, the first age-related issues conceiving tend to be the female getting too old to conceive.

Where’s the “never” button? I think no age is good for me because I don’t want them, neither does my partner, and we never plan to have any.

I would have preferred to answer ‘35 - 40’ but it’s not on your poll. Delay it as long as you can - having kids at a late age keeps you young - no matter how tired you might feel, you’ll look younger. Compare 45-year-olds with 25-year-old children with 45-year-olds who have kids in elementary school - the latter look and act years younger.

The only problem with that is if your kids do the same you can forget about ever being grandparents…

I’d like to have kids with my Mrs, but right now we simply can’t afford to. I have to pay silly money every month for student loans, all the rest of it. so I know I can’t give a child the life s/he deserves.

It’s a shame that a lot of people in my generation are going to be in the same boat as me and probably won’t be able to start trying for kids until our mid 30’s. Don’t even get me started on buying (or trying to buy) a house back home… grrrrrr

[quote]Do any of you regret not waiting longer?
Or regret waiting too long?[/quote]

I was 32; jdspouse was 29.

Plan? Plan all you want, but babies have a way of coming when they want to and not really asking for your permission. I’ve known people who have been on almost every birth control plan devised and have still gotten pregnant. I hope your dream of a childless future comes true.

For the real topic, the wife and I were surprised by our first during our first year of marriage. I was 23 she was 31. We weren’t really looking for kids, but our Sabrina fell in our lap. Kids have a way of coming when they are supposed to, so I wouldn’t worry about what anyone is saying. Raising a kid is tough work, and if you don’t think you are ready, then don’t do it. Better to be an old parent than a crappy one.

“I doans know nuthin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies”…Butterfly McQueen

Depends on the persons involved. There’s a lot to be said about having the financial security to provide for the child and familial needs.
DINK life can be good for a couple. A lot of freedom and enjoyment that might be used as ‘guilt’ by some.
Go with what your hearts and finances tell you is the right thing for the both of you.
Once you have one…they are darn hard to ignore. And they are always asking questions and poking about on your body looking at things.

Dunno…I beleive there never is a ‘good time’ to have kids.

Certainly if I waited until I was ‘ready’ to have kids, I would still be waiting…How can you be ready? Even if you think you’re ready, I’d say you’re not. There is no way you can prepare yourself for the first 2-3 years. When no. 2 came, we thought we were ready since we already had 1 and we thought we ‘knew’ the ropes. Wrong. The amount of effort is a step function, not a linear increase :smiley:

I would tend to fall to the opinion that the younger is better.

Whatever the case, don’t let outside factors (e.g. “Hurry up and have children!” or “I want grandchildren!”) influence your decision. It should be the decision of the couple alone.

i’ll second this, and add the caveat to not be completely taken in by the promises regarding assistance in caring for said child if you (both) are working fulltime etc.

I got my first one around the time I turned 24. I was young, and woefully unprepared. However a kid is a kid, and we muddled through. Pmental preparation? No need I say. You have too much to do when you have a baby in the house, so you don’t think that much, apart from on ways to get the little one to stop crying.

The second one - I was 27, no worries, I was prepared, and I remember it as being easier.

The third one - I am now 33, and was prepared. It gets easier the more you have, as you get the routine. That said, I would always space them at least 3 years.

[quote=“Mr He”]How old is your wife?

If she’s above 30, you might start procreating, as womens fertility tends to taper off in her 30’s.

For the man - the older you get the less energy you have to take care of a screaming baby at 1am 4am and 6am every night.[/quote]

That’s right, the womans “clock” is ticking faster than the mans.
(My dad was 62 when he held me for the first time)

But remember also that the older the women gets, the harder her pregnancy can be - and therefor harder on the baby inside and on the mother aswell. The risks are higher.

My old colleague was about 42 when she had her second child. 2 years later the mother died of a stroke. So eventhough she was happy, looking more “alive and young”, it was very hard on her to have a child at that age.
This is of course one of the bad stories, I’m sure it’s one of few…

That’s a trivial issue. They only keep you up all night for the first few months. Anyone can endure that. More significant issues are whether you’ll be able to wrestle with your kid, play catch, climb mountains with him/her, see him/her graduate from high school/college, see him/her embark on a career, etc., and so long as one is in reasonably good health, even those shouldn’t be major problems.

Pssshaw. . . I had my girl at age 43 (my wife was 33). No problem getting her pregnant: just in, out, in, out, in, out, in, oops. . . . . and 9 months later I was a daddy. And, our girl is perfectly bright, healthy and free of cellular errors. In fact, we’re now thinking of having a second.

I admit, early 40’s is a little late to have a child, but I guess I wasn’t ready earlier and I don’t see it as a problem. When my girl turns 18 I’ll be 71. Yes, that’s getting old, but people live longer and longer nowadays. I’m fairly fit and healthy and expect to live to about 90 or so. She’ll be 37 then, hopefully graduated from college, embarked on a career, married and with child/ren of her own. Perhaps that’s the most significant issue – how much time will I get to enjoy with my grandkids? That will be nice some day, but. . . whatever. . . things happened the way they happened and I’m perfectly happy with where I am now and am thrilled to be a father, even at my decrepit age.

So, I voted for your last poll option. Enjoy as much time single and/or childless as you can, with the freedom to travel, go to movies, eat nice dinners in peace, etc. Once you have a child those freedoms are substantially reduced, but it’s still worth it for the thrill of parenthood (see Ex. A).

Ex. A

[quote=“Mother Theresa”]Ex. A

[quote=“miltownkid”][quote=“Mother Theresa”]Ex. A

Yeah I second that, better not let the Mrs see that one :wink:

I should also have added that people have many reasons for not having kids at all. My best mate back home will never have kids as he carries a very nasty and rare heritary disease that killed his sister at a very young age. He knows there’s a 50% chance his offspring could have it and he knows exactly what will happen if it goes wrong. It’s a shame for him as he knows that he would be a great dad and is awesome with kids.

Stop exaggerating. :laughing: