Which Would You Rather Fight: 100 Duck Sized Horses or One Horse Sized Duck?

Taken from this article:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/replyallcalypse-nyu-email-141306209.html

[quote]Max Wiseltier, a sophomore at New York University, was simply trying to forward an email from the Bursar’s Office to his mother on Monday. Instead, Wiseltier accidentally hit “reply to all,” cc’ing 39,979 of his fellow NYU students in the process.

Wiseltier, realizing what he had done, fired off a quick apology. But his email “triggered a rare, University-wide revelation,” Kelly Weill wrote in NYU Local, the student newspaper. “We simultaneously realized that any message, complaint, whim, link, video, or GIF could be sent to nearly 40,000 people in an instant.”

And thousands of students did.

“So, how is everyone today?” wrote one.

“Does anyone have a pencil I could borrow?” wrote another.

“Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or 1 horse sized duck?” another asked.

A visually inclined student simply attached a photo of Nicolas Cage, which 40,000 students now share and can enjoy whenever they want.
[/quote]

After catching my breath from laughing so hard, I’m going to go with one horse sized duck. Ducks aren’t particularly scary animals, they have weak bones, and a horse isn’t that much bigger than a human. Horses, on the other hand, are pretty strong and fast, have teeth, and one hundred of them could easily overwhelm a person or wear him down. It would also be less humiliating to be beaten by something big if you did lose.

It’s like who would you rather fight, the biggest guy at your local gym, or an entire class of xiaoban kindy kids? I’d go with the gym rat.

How well organised are the horses?

I have a feeling a horse sized duck would be absolutely terrifying. A goose in attack mode is scary enough. They’re omnivorous–unlike horses–as well.

Horses weigh 500kg or more. I’d be pretty wary of a 500kg duck! How would you hope to defeat it? One peck and you’d be knocked out!

I’d prefer to fight the 100 duck-sized horses. You could easily escape their wrath by climbing upon something, like a parked car, and then you could just stomp on them, or pick them up by the mane and then swing them round by the back legs and . . . :astonished:

Maybe we can commission the University of California San Francisco.

The first one. I think I’d have a fighting chance at least.

I assume that they’re all actively fighting, not just standing around. i.e. you can’t pick them off one at a time.

antarcticbeech: Those are good points, actually. I hadn’t considered either climbing upon something or using one of the horses as a weapon against the rest.

That said, I don’t think a duck would be that agile, and as I mentioned, they have weak bones, so you could probably do some real damage to it if you outflanked it.

I don’t think the duck-sized horses would be very deadly at first. They would have tiny teeth. But there is no way you could outrun them. So eventually they would weaken your legs until you fell down, and then you’d be a goner as those little whinnying mouths with their buck teeth found your wrists, groin, face and throat.

So you’d have to win fast, grab one horse and use it as a broom or bat to knock others over, then stomp them. Would they get the message and back off after a while, or keep on like little samurais? That is the question I am asking myself.

The horse-sized duck would be a complete nightmare. How would you kill such a thing bare-handed? You would basically have to climb on its back and choke it to death. Good luck unless you are some kind of heavy wrestler type of guy. And even then!

BTW, I believe there are tiny horses, and have been huge duck-like animals in the Earth’s history:

https://www.google.com/search?q=tiny+horses&hl=en&tbo=u&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=8_a2UMPRK5CbmQXfxYCIDQ&ved=0CDwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=641

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dromornithidae

Aren’t horses herbivores? Just chuck them some hay. They have no taste for flesh.

As for knobbling the giant duck… [strike]Return of the Jedi[/strike] Empire Strikes Back ( :blush: :blush: ) style leg wrap, or Return of the Jedi style rock drop. Maybe even a David and Goliath thing. Besides, imagine the BBQ which would ensue once that angry sod was vanquished. Beating up all those tiny cute horses would be emotionally very hard.

[quote=“superking”]Aren’t horses herbivores? Just chuck them some hay. They have no taste for flesh.

As for knobbling the giant duck… Return of the Jedi style leg wrap, or Return of the Jedi style rock drop. Maybe even a David and Goliath thing. Besides, imagine the BBQ which would ensue once that angry sod was vanquished. Beating up all those tiny cute horses would be emotionally very hard.[/quote]

I agree that it would be very emotionally hard to beat up tiny cute horses. However, I think ducks are pretty cool. They’re certainly quite cute too, though maybe less so at 500kg.

BigJohn: Grief! Those things lived 20,000-50,000 years ago in Australia, meaning there may actually have been situations where people did fight them. They also seemed much more dangerous than a giant duck.

A horse-sized duck would be biomechanically impossible. It would most likely collapse or fall to bits under its own weight. :stinkyface:

The difficult bit would be finding a large enough oven and basting brush.

A horse-sized duck would be biomechanically impossible. It would most likely collapse or fall to bits under its own weight. :stinkyface: [/quote]

Google google :raspberry:

[quote=“GuyInTaiwan”]

BigJohn: Grief! Those things lived 20,000-50,000 years ago in Australia, meaning there may actually have been situations where people did fight them.[/quote]

We need a time machine!

Isn’t the flight of a bird biomechanically impossible? Or am I thinking of bees? A giant duck would have once been a giant duckling. Leg strength would improve accordingly.

I do know that if the proportions of Barbie were replicated in a human she’d die of organ failure and her neck would snap due to her massive head, but I am going off topic and dealing with the nonsensical. Apologies.

It ain’t a duck, though. Look at the size of its legs and hips. It’s like that prototype thingummyblob out of Robocop.

:snooty:

It ain’t a duck, though. Look at the size of its legs and hips. It’s like that prototype thingummyblob out of Robocop.

:snooty:[/quote]

If it walks like a duck, and …

Dasornis was a giant goose… http://www.science20.com/news_releases/dasornis_emuinus_prehistoric_goose_was_the_size_of_a_small_plane_and_had_bony_teeth

[quote=“superking”][quote=“GuyInTaiwan”]

BigJohn: Grief! Those things lived 20,000-50,000 years ago in Australia, meaning there may actually have been situations where people did fight them.[/quote]

We need a time machine!

Isn’t the flight of a bird biomechanically impossible? Or am I thinking of bees? A giant duck would have once been a giant duckling. Leg strength would improve accordingly.

I do know that if the proportions of Barbie were replicated in a human she’d die of organ failure and her neck would snap due to her massive head, but I am going off topic and dealing with the nonsensical. Apologies.[/quote]

I’m assuming it would still fly (which would actually weaken my argument for it being less scary, though I think ducks do require a run up to fly). Part of the reason birds are able to fly is because their bones are much lighter than those of other animals. Their bones are kind of honeycombed inside. This also makes them extremely fragile, actually. You could probably break a giant duck’s leg by kicking it. It would be much weaker than a horse’s leg for sure because ducks don’t have to support the same kind of mass to size ratio (so actually, a horse sized duck would not weigh anything like 500kg, now that I think about it), and their legs don’t have to bear as much stress because they don’t run as fast as horses. You could definitely break its wing easily if you applied a judo or aikido joint lock. Even a pretty solid punch would probably easily break several ribs, its spine or its sternum. I think anyone with an MMA background would have a strong chance.

It ain’t a duck, though. Look at the size of its legs and hips. It’s like that prototype thingummyblob out of Robocop.

:snooty:[/quote]

It’s an anseriform though, so it’s in there with the ducks and geese. It seems at least hypothetically possible, then, assuming one hasn’t too much sand in one’s cloaca :smiley: .

Ok, ok. The point is, would you suggest orange, cranberry, or cherry sauce?

A horse-sized duck would be biomechanically impossible. It would most likely collapse or fall to bits under its own weight. :stinkyface:

The difficult bit would be finding a large enough oven and basting brush.[/quote] or a microwave perhaps?your comment did not upset me at all,cruel as the notion may be, as i know you are having fun!