For one thing, people discriminate on the basis of age and they do this everywhere. This is NOT a cultural thing. In China Mainland the government rejects applicants based on height and women even though there is no relationship to the work applied for. This is wrong and it is wrong everywhere. The wrong is not cultural.
Right the wrong is. In USA, this is illegal say in getting a job, a loan, etc. Discrimination (age, sex, race) is legal in this country as in Japan and many countries. But Chinese feel the right to know everything about other people. I actually had 2 Chinese girls say that if they were curious they would feel it entirely appropriate to ask how many abortions a person has had. Here, it is culturally appropriate to probe other people. I have not yet, but maybe should be ready with my own questions “why don’t you have a girlfriend? How big and hard is your penis and prove it? Why are you still not married yet? Etc.”
“Why are you still not married yet” is a common question here.
As a married person, I don’t mind the question “Do you have children?” What I DO mind is the question “Why don’t you have children yet?” As if it’s any of their business.
I just say “what on earth business is that of yours?” It ALWAYS either shuts them up or leads to embarrassed grinning and a string of pai-says.
Although I once told the asker that I don’t have a penis, expecting her to shut up post-haste. However, she immediately went into a spiel about AI and all that stuff. She was quite annoyed when I interrupted her to tell her I had 13 inches of big swinging Richard. But I think she got the point.
I don’t have any problem mentioning my age anywhere but here in Taiwan because my answer (29 in October) is almost always followed with “You are almost 30, your time is running out to find a husband.” Not to mention offers to set me up with somebody they know.
Taxi drivers are the worst for this. Although when they’re not obnoxious, they’re often pretty funny - like one taxi driver who told me I should marry a Taiwanese guy because Western men are strange, not to marry a hakka man unless I wanted to get divorced within a year and that my best bet was a waisheng guy because if I was lucky his parents might already dead and I wouldn’t have any problems his mother!?!
Do I avoid mentioning my age out of fear? No, more to avoid well-intentioned but very annoying offers of help for my “problem” (ie, single and very much happy about it). And also a bit of embarrassment. Not because of my age, but because someone has asked me a question that, despite living here for almost 5 years, I still feel is rude. I feel the same way when people ask me how much I weigh, or how much money I make. I’m not bothered by the answers, I’m bothered that someone was tacky enough to ask.
So totally agree with you on this one! The classic ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ Is there something wrong with you? Are you a lesbian?’
It’s very much an Asian thing. In some culture its considered rude but in most Asian cultures it’s considered as showing their ‘concern’ for you. They see it as they need to rope you into society norms and if you’re not married by 30 then you’re not conforming to what society expects and demands of you. Asian society loves conformity and abhors rebels.
“I am handsome/beautiful, plus smart and talented and intelligent, if I want to get married, I could do so tomorrow.”
“However…I do not want to get married to just ANYbody. Do you know someone as smart, attractive, and as clever as me? That you can set me up with?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I could have any number of college graduates back in my home country. I didn’t come all the way to Taiwan to marry a barely literate factory worker.”
“Now please fuck off, lowly taxi driver with a sixth grade education. Don’t try and set me up with any of your gangster thug friends any more. Cha cha!”
