Thanks for the heads up, Buttercup & Bismarck.
[quote=“tommy525”][quote=“Ah Q”]The greatest girl I have ever been with was a 20 something from the southern Chinese countryside, a minority, no education beyond a few years of primary. Moved to the city when she was 16 and battled her way into society from there. Modest, absolutely no pretentions, and thoroughly streetwise. Not educated, so not knowledgeable by measure of ‘amount of facts known’ but wise where needed and extremely capable of deductive reasoning. It was very refreshing because there were no set terms of engagement - our relationship, which lasted nearly 4 years, started out as a blank sheet of paper and it was literally in our own hands to take it anywhere we wanted.
I’ve also been with a girl who had a PhD and spent most of her time in and out of the lab working on a cure for cancer. Let’s just say that wasn’t nearly as succesful.
What I’m trying to say is that education, knowledge, good job, financial stability and what not are definately not ‘magic keys’ to a good relationship. You’ve got to open your mind and think about what you’re going to be together, not seperately as individuals.[/quote]
But why didnt the magic continue? Id want the magic to go on and on and on and on[/quote]
I ask myself this question frequently. Looking back on what we had it was beautiful, but it’s true what they say, you don’t always know what you’ve got until it is gone. My personal ambitions in life and perfectionist attitude were mostly at fault, I suppose. Even during our relationship I realised that we really had something going together, but no matter how good it gets, I always assume that there’s something even better, even greater out there…
All the same, the relationship itself was never the issue. Ironically, although a relationship may flourish in the hands of two people, it only takes one of them to take it apart… Love really is a short-term decision. You think and hope it will be long-term, but you really don’t know, so all you can go on is how it feels today, and whether or not all you want is to be with her/him now. After 3,5 years with this girl, I came to a point in my life where I was making decisions that would affect the rest of my life, be it with or without this girl. I wanted to choose for her, for us, but I knew that if my choices were based on the fact that we were together then - what good would they be, if we were apart in the future?
Basically, I was given opportunities to leave China for other parts of Asia, which I was ready to do. I could advance career-wise, use my remaining years of youth wisely (instead of wasting them away in the bedroom), and basically just ensure my future well-being as an individual, no matter whom I’d be with.
So that’s what I did. I left her, knowing that she’d be prepared to wait for any amount of time for me to sort my own life out, but I wasn’t prepared myself to ask this of her. It’s hard to say whether or not my decision has paid off, or whether it ever will in terms of absolute happiness. Life’s all about choices eh 
I make them quickly and easily, but not very accurately.
