Why did you break up with your ex?
0 voters
Well… that’s something which interests me… Why people break up… Reasons… Or lack of them…
Cheating? Growing apart? Throwing things at each other? Other reasons?
Obviously, I am most curious regarding cross cultural relationships, but by all menas, chip in.
Because she was a cold, heartless, life sucking, psychotic, paranoid bitch! :raspberry: I’m sure none of it was my fault! 
Sorry, needed to vent… 
I wanted to vote for 3 of the reasons, but it would only let me choose one. 
All the options imply that it was either HIS/HER fault or nobody’s fault.
What should i choose if it was my fault? 
Oh, of course - that’s impossible…
Just add he-always-left-the-bathroom-floor-wet-option. 
Wow, you dated her too? Small world!
Cheating seems to be the biggest reason–not by me, but the other party. Never one to just walk away, I graduated from the Psycho Xiaojie Institute of Revenge 
.
I’m actually quite surprised to hear so many people cheat on each other. Never ever have I nor my partners cheated. Like, hello? Where’s the respect?
My last relationship ended because I wasn’t feeling it anymore.
The one before same.
The one before because I’d had enough of the other’s behavior.
The one before because I wasn’t feeling it anymore.
The one before same.
And so on.
Too much info. But I feel you should have a “No mo’ magic” category.
Because she refused to swallow…my family’s traditional ginseng chicken soup.
Because she forgot to break up with her previous boyfriend.
Jealousy, plain and simple. My chosen company many times are the many very good female friends that I have. She just couldn’t handle it. I never gave her any reason to doubt me or mistrust me. I’m simply a person who can honestly have platonic relationships with women. Well, on my end at least…you know how people get attached.
She asked for money.
Goodbye.
None of the partings of ways that occurred in my bachelor days was preceded by any kind of fighting, arguing, accusations, or other unpleasantness. In every case, it was just a matter of the relationship having run its course and it being time for one or both of us to move on to something else.
In a few cases, it was she who decided that I wasn’t the right long-term prospect for her and slipped away out of my life. In most cases, I was the one who pulled back and, in as gentle and unhurtful a manner as possible, let it be understood that she shouldn’t expect us to be spending much or any more time together.
Only one of the breakups left me feeling deeply wounded, though there were at least a couple that I pulled the plug on and later regretted having done so very much indeed.
The most painful break-up I ever had was caused by my own selfishness. I would not let my gf slide down the hill in my shiny brand new red sled. It was only because she wasn’t very good at controlling the direction, as evidenced by her many wipe outs and the numerous dents and nicks on her own sled. I learned from a very early age never to let a little red sled come between me and my love.
He wasn’t the right man for the long term. I knew that even before we started being bf&gf, and told him I thought so. In the end I broke up with him, and although I had told him I would he still got angry.
let’s not forget plain boredom
The lights came up at closing hours…
and lets not forget the requirement in another thread “picked up before closing hours”
“Too much arguing” was certainly a reason I broke up with a girlfriend many years ago. There were many reasons, though, including the fact that she tried to control every aspect of my life. And then there were her moods, and the unending, mysterious inventory of buttons that would send her off into anger or depression for days on end. “Walking on eggshells” aptly describes my feelings during the final phase of our relationship.
Then I wised up and said “No thanks, this isn’t for me. Bye bye!” and have never regretted it.
I have stayed mum so far, but feel that it’s time to explain about my situation.
Why did my marriage end?
There are many reasons.
First of all, you have the cultural difference, which means that communication will always be harder.
A very smart guy said to me: “Only marry a girl from a happy family”. True indeed, as we are likely to behave in relationships the way we saw our parents behave. If we come from a family, which was well and truly fucked, we might be conditioned to behave in the same way in our own marriage.
Different background, apart from the cultural aspects. I come from a stable upper middle class family. Big house, big cars, summer houses, money never a problem. My former wife on the other hand comes from a relatively poor family, who until 10 years ago got a major part of their income from farming tea. Coming to Europe and see a happy family in a huge house with a mercedes in front of it gave her a bit of an inferiority feeling, and she tried to make up for it by making me feel low, especially when I ran into problems. For instance a bit more than a year ago, I worked a hellish job in an espresso machine factory. The boss was a fool, and due to his mismanagement and complete lack of people skills, the staff turnover in an average year would be some 80%. Once when I complained about the pressure I was under, my ex replied with:" It’s because you have problems yourself and you should not blame your boss. You should blame yourself instead".
Obviously, threats and the like was a natural part of the relationship. If I ever complained about her behavior, she would tell me that if I did not shup up, she would divorce me, and I would lose my children completely. Another favorite of hers was to tell me about my family and how horrible they were. As we live 10,000km away from them and I only see them once ot twice per year, utterings like this tends to hurt me a bit. The last 12-18 months, when I asked her to stay a bit more with me, she would usually tell me that she did not love me, and that she liked the company of her family.
Then obviously, there was the sad fact that she preferred to spend most of her time in the company of her family, instead of at home. Mind you, we are not talking about her going there once or twife a week, but her basically living there and spending 3-5 nights per week at their house, a situation which for all purposes started when we arrived in Taiwan in November 2000.
Another ghost in our relationship was that we lived in Denmark from 1997 to 2000. She found integrating into Danish society very hard, and well… I was busy finishing up my studies and working part time to support the family, so well… She had to face situations and issues alone, and we were less rich than what she expected. After all, even though we got support from my family, it was not on a level, where we were wealthy by any standards, we were just getting by. She was short of a network there, and she was unable to build up support. that we got support from my family was also a problem for her.
Obviously, since we broke up a few things have happened. First of all I realize that I have to deal with her for many years to come. We have 2 children, and we need to be able to communicate well in order to ensure that the breakup of their marriage does not affect them more than absolutely necessary. Secondly, for some reason which eludes me, she’s not able to work full time, and therefore she needs some kind of financial support from me. Third of all, I intend to remain as a presence in the life of my 2 daughters, and I will need to be in constant contact with her in order to ensure this.
However, honestly, I don’t regret a thing. I have 2 beautiful girls, a nice house to live, in and a good life here. I did get a lot of value out of my marriage, and I have learned a lot from this whole process.
Mr He, from what you’ve described, her attitude and behaviour were insufferable, and you clearly did the right thing. Good luck in dealing with the fallout, especially making sure you have appropriate access to your daughters, and I hope you’ll find another or others much more worthy to keep you company in the future.
I wasn’t going to post on this thread after the embarrassment of my Why we hate Taiwanese Women thread. But, this was too familiar
Ditto. Word for word what the last 6 months of my last relationship was like.
But for me the fake suicide attempt thing was the final straw. Three times in two years kinda fries your head. She still did it after I talked and reasoned with her about why its not a good thing to do. The last time was enough though. I broke off the relationship the following morning when I knew she was ok.