I’ll agree with that and revise it with; And if you don’t you need to work on one that you can share.
A relationship is based on dependency. That of couples, that of friends and even employer and employee. Just look around you and you will see that one can’t really do without the other. If that dependency disappears shit happens (or at least is likely to happen). We all know that the beginning of a relationship is based on love, love that later on will gradually change in respect and a deep friendship.
I am not familiar with your personal situation but from what I read you depend on your wife for not loosing your house, kids and most of your money. She depends on you for providing her with kids, status and solving the famous bio clock problem that women suffer from.
My own parents are now married for over 50 years. Whenever I visit them they manage to drive me nuts within one hour with their constant squabbling. However, if one of them feels unwell you will suddenly see them change into the most caring person and they will be worried sick about the other. The sweetest thing to see always. You could say: “they can’t live with, nor without each other”. If my dad had not kept my mum always fully dependent on him, would they still be together? No way! Does either one regret being in that position? No… 
I am now 48 years old. I have had 6 serious relations (serious here meaning that we choose to live together) with both men and women. Looking back on those I can say that I have learned a lot from almost all of them as life is a learning process. Mostly I think I broke up the relation after I felt I didn’t learn anything anymore and the love had faded completely. After every broken relation I knew better what I wanted for the next one, or at least what I didn’t want. For me personally it is important that I can be proud of my partner, no matter if she was a lawyer, if he was an architect or sells clothes at Eslite for a lousy income. I just can’t live with a lazy bastard. They should have a pleasant personality, be physically attractive to me (we all have different standards on that) and mentally be a challenge to me. Trust me; even a “yes to every proposal I make” type of person will drive you crazy in the end. Been there, done that. Some equal level of intelligence is best too. I had one bf who was extremely wise, like having a walking encyclopedia with you all the time. Whatever I would ask him, I would get an answer that turned out to be correct even. I do not consider myself stupid but my admiration and pride at first for having such a smart partner eventually turned me into feeling a dumb twat. Like I said; after every partner I knew better, learned from them and am very thankful for that. It will probably not surprise you that on my wedding my best man was my ex bf and in the audience there were 3 more ex’s.
Somewhere somebody said that being nice and forgiving becomes easier when the relation moves on; that isn’t the correct reason. It is because you grow older and better understanding. Wisdom does come with years of age. What helped me a lot was trying to be happy for the other person, even if you suspect he/she is fucking around or something else that makes you unhappy. Understand that mostly it is better not to know all and for sure not to ask, just to satisfy your own curiosity. My mum always said that in a relation you will have to give more than you may expect in return. I agree.
Another thing I have learned: If it is perfectly clear to you that this relation is not going to work, that there is no love left and not even any respect for the other? Get out and don’t try to fix things or give it a 2nd (or 3rd) chance. A waste of time as we can see all around us. Sometimes they linger on for a few years only to realize it still doesn’t work. Peoples character can not be changed, I have learned that the hard way myself. Best to get out and not inflict more pain on both. It is not shameful to realize you made the wrong choice in choosing your partner. After all, what is the number if divorces, 50%? We are only human and we all fuck up now and than…
Am I perfect? Ha, no way! My marriage 2,5 years ago was almost finished before it had started. I couldn’t face my whole family and friends telling them I would probably better call it off. So, we went on with it anyway, a decision I still do not regret because we had a really fun day with the whole family complete, and we all know how difficult that is these days. Contact with my husband today is actually better than ever before, even though we live separate and I with a new bf.
Over these relation ships I have tried just about every possible version. Monogamous, open relation, living together, - apart and 3p’s. To my personal experience a long distance relationship was the worst that can happen to somebody. The misunderstandings and following fights were countless. Once together those were gone completely and life was good. I am sure different versions work best for different people but in my case it was best to have a monogamous relation but give each other some space and a right to some personal life too. Learn not to ask questions and to be happy for the other, whatever he/she is doing.
I am not going to claim that growing older has made me a wiser person but it definitely made me a lot nicer compared to 25 years ago.
Frans 
Who? The OP?
I think being open to unorthodox and taboo sexual experiences is the key.
Or at least being open to sexual experiences. :neutral:
Who? The OP?[/quote]
FransInTaiwan lost me after the first sentence. Is FIT a man? A woman? Who is FIT addressing? I’m so confused! :s
You’re a lucky man then.
I don’t get the allure of butt seks or threesomes or whatever other taboo sexual experiences people are into, but if that’s what keeps your marriage spicily alive, more power to you.
One man’s Taboo is another man’s vanilla, so it’s tough to say. But being open and having a real desire to please your partner are the keys to being a great lover. (Even if you can never bring yourself to do that and it secretly creeps you out a little to think the he might really like it.)
I am a guy, had relations with women and later men.
Got (legally) married with a TW guy and broke up 2 years later.
I am open minded, not shy to at least try once whats out there, thats all…
Apology for the mix up of my reply to the OP and another replying person,
I am sorry for the confusion.
Frans 
Here’s an article on Yahoo that ad some insights on this thread:
[quote]1. Loyalty
2. Respect
3. Unconditionally There
4. Trustworthy
5. A Genuine Sounding Board
6. Dependability[/quote]
2 out of 6. I think I’m in trouble.
Depends…which two?
compatibility.