You always hear women saying stuff like, “He seems like a great guy, he’s cute and he’s funny” and when you look at lists of what women want in a man, “a good sense of humor” always comes out close to the top (usually right below “has a rock-solid ass” and “has a massive wang” )
I mean, I don’t mind a girl who can have a good laugh, but as a guy, it’s hardly at the top of my list of priorities. There are at least a dozen or two more important qualities I appreciate in a woman. Why is “funny” so important to so many women?
In my opinion, and from my own experiences, when I come home stressed out from another crappy day at work, I don’t want to sit down with someone and compare who is more miserable. I want to laugh and relax, and remember that there is life outside of work. Besides, I think a person’s personality reflects how they approach other aspects of their life and I find funny men tend to be more adventurous and open-minded.
Women like to be entertained, and men like to entertain them.
But I think the point is it’s more interesting to be with someone who likes to be funny, man or woman. I know I have a much better time with someone I consider funny than a more serious person. Generally you’ll find funny people DO seem to have more fun.
Moreover, the gal I’m with now is funny…not just casually but very funny. We bounce jokes and sarcasm off each other almost all the time. She makes me more funny.
And it blows my mind because it adds such a nice dimension to the relationship.
My personal suspicion is that this “he got to have a sense of humour” phrase is just yet another way to express ‘he must be confident’. Most of these ‘ideal mate wish-lists’ trickle down to that.
You know there are some whose humour only goes at other’s expenses? Bileful and arrogant? Hardly ever saw that win over a lady.
The entertainment effect may be a nice side benefit. But I think what counts is to be able to look at oneself from a distance and be pleased enough to actually accept the funny sides of oneself too.
If you get all uptight and lose your humour once your little oddities become obvious, you begin to look a bit whimpy. And women hardly can stand that.
Just my very personal explanation of the ‘he must have a sense of humour’.
Women can take themselves so dammed seriously sometimes, and to have a man make us laugh at all the silly crap in the world, is a great thing to have around. You need some sort of balance in a relationship, best to have alot of laughter…
When I think of a sense of humor, I think that he can laugh at himself when things don’t go quite right which is roughly the equivalent of doesn’t get worked up when things aren’t perfect and isn’t too serious about everything.
I’d like to think I have a good sense of humor even though I am far from funny. In Bali I managed to laugh after slipping on wet tiles and falling into a water puddle of God knows what that was being swept out of a women’s bathroom with a non-flushing squat toilet. I had just prided myself for working out to use the basin of water to flush it and managing to stay dry and clean in the process and down I went in front of my personal stewart who started scolding the poor guy trying to clean the floors. Up to then, I thought he was an okay guy, but I couldn’t accept him berating a man for my own stupidity for wearing my funky, but treadless sandals in which I had slipped numerous times before that incident. Anyways, it was my own fault for being so proud of my little accomplishment and as they say, “pride goes before a fall.” He might have been being chivalrous (or doing his job of protecting me), but I saw it as being cruel and insensitive and would have felt better if he had laughed too.
Disclaimer: the above reply is meant to be nothing but a joke, no offense or insult is intended, and it is not related to any issue between Tigerman and myself (as someone might wrongly think).
Had someone else posted this I would have replied, too.
[quote=“RubiconBojador”]You always hear women saying stuff like, “He seems like a great guy, he’s cute and he’s funny” and when you look at lists of what women want in a man, “a good sense of humor” always comes out close to the top (usually right below “has a rock-solid ass” and “has a massive wang” )
I mean, I don’t mind a girl who can have a good laugh, but as a guy, it’s hardly at the top of my list of priorities. There are at least a dozen or two more important qualities I appreciate in a woman. Why is “funny” so important to so many women?[/quote]
I find a good sense of humor to be near the top of my list in qualities I appreciate in women. I’d rather go out with an unattractive woman with a great sense of humor than a knockout babe with no sense of humor.
[quote=“Mucha (Muzha) Man”]A good sense of humour is a sign of intelligence which is an indicator that one will do well in life and have an above average income.
Just to put the cynical evolutionary slant on it all. [/quote]
Nice try Mucha Man, but if you wanted to be really cynical you would add that if the man uses his good sense of humour to entertain one particular female, she might come to the conclusion that he likes her. It could be taken as a sign of potential future devotion to her wellbeing and happiness.
So, not only is he likely to be rich, he might be inclined to use his future wealth to look after the woman he is entertaining!
How do you get through stuff without a good sense of humour? I know I’d be screwed without mine, it’s almost like a survival mechanism. I don’t want to be with someone who can’t see the funnier side of a crappy or stressful situation. Apart from anything else, it would be a bit of a drag.
If a guy couldn’t have a good laugh at himself, I’d be worried he was insecure or something.
As long as it isn’t spiteful, or mean-spirited, I really appreciate a witty guy who can make me laugh. Nothing is better than a good laugh. Well, almost nothing.
I think everyone values a sense of humour, but for us girls judging whether its a ‘good’ sense of humour is the sticking point. Usually that just means that a man finds the same things/observations amusing as us (which probably means not cracking puerile toilet humour jokes - unless you’re going out with me that is) and the ability to make light of the end of a horrible workday.
I think Mucha man’s got it right, the way someone wields their sense of humour reveals something of their intelligence. Humour is sexy. Intelligence is sexy.
Being able to laugh together with someone is absolutely wonderful.
Well, laughing feels good to me. Everything seems a little bit better when I am able to laugh…so, it made sense to me to be with someone that makes me laugh, or more importantly, someone that I can laugh with–that way we both feel good. Ha ha ha.
I saw on TV once (so it must be true) that smiling and looking afraid require much the same facial muscles, so smiling is probably an evolved way of saying “I am not going to attack you.”
Somewhere else (maybe laughlabs.com?) I read that we generally find things to be funny when the expected outcome is at odds with what actually happens, and that laughter probably evolved as a shared response to an escape from danger. You’re stressed because of some threat, and after the threat recedes you release the tension: “Wow, I though that mammoth was going to kill us all!” “Yeah, me too! What a buzz.” “Did you see grunt running?” Everybody laughs with relief.
Keeping with the caveman (or millions of years before, as chimps apparently have a sense of humour too) theme, women have traditionally been dependent on men for protection in a pretty dangerous world. Even today, women tend to be more threat-aware, more cautious than people who think with their auxiliary brains.
So, speculating wildly, I’m going to say that if a man makes a woman laugh then that means that she feels safe in a dangerous world with him. We may not think about it consciously, but at a primeval level it just boils down to that. If you’re not laughing then you’re not out of danger yet.