My beloved cat said goodbye to me three years before and I’ve never thought of keeping pets until this year. A kitten came to my house and I was quite happy because cats are not always active to meet people. Then she decided to live in our garden but actually I wanted to keep her in the house. I thought that must be some destinies, just like my former (and only) beloved one and I became acquainted naturally. However, so far (a semester and a summer vacation passed) she is still wary of me, only when feeding time she allows me to stroke (just using one finger!!!) her for a second. I’m pretty despaired about that! Am I too aggressive to let her believe me? Or just because all cats are born like that, only my former, innocent, silly kitten was easy to accost…? :blah:
Your problem is that you’re under the mistaken impression that its YOUR garden, which is very silly – its HERS.
Back when I was in Sweden I wanted a cat. I was renting an apartment from a Russian woman and one of her friends was planning to move back to Germany. He had a cat, a large unneutered tomcat. We figured that we were out in the country and Oliver the cat would be quite happy hunting rats and rabbits. Also his new home wasn’t very far from his old one, a couple of kilometres. So we drove over and picked him up, present him with lots of gourmet cat food and he’d have moved.
Now right from the start it didn’t go well. Oliver miaowed continuously in the car, and was obviously incredibly angry at being kidnapped. Still we took him home and offered him cat food and water, both of which he ignored and went and sat by the door with his back to me.
After a while, I figured I could let him out and put the food inside. Presumably he’d get hungry and I could let him in if I saw him. But he dissapeared completely. Eventually his old owner called and told us he’d gone home. So we picked him up again. His owner reckoned if we locked him in for a couple of days and fed him he’d learn that he had a new home.
By this point, I was really starting to question the feasibility of this. Oliver didn’t seem like the sort of cat that would give up after a couple of days. In fact he seemed like the sort of cat that would never, ever compromise of the slightest issue. Still we put him in a box and drove back. No miaowing this time, though Oliver had a look of quiet determination. A plan had clearly formed in his walnut sized brain.
So I locked him in and went to work. He found a gap between a bookcase and the wall and sat there. He was easily the angriest cat I have ever seen. I moved his food bowl in front of him and he gave me a look of such pure hatred that I laughed. Which of course made things worse. Still I headed off to work. My workbuddies told me that Oliver would have his revenge.
And of course they were right. When I got home I opened the door and was hit by such a strong smell of cat urine that I had to open all the windows and windows to avoid gagging. Oliver was back in his corner. I looked at him, and he looked at me. I opened the door. After a very long wait, while he presumably weighed up the possibility that this was another foul human trick he got up, stretched and walked to the door.
There was something about the whole thing that I thought was cool so I patted him on the back as he left. He turned round and gave me a “DON’T F**KING TOUCH ME” look. And then trotted off calmly, presumably heading home.
I spent the rest of the weekend cleaning every inch of the apartment.
I think the fact that the kitten has lead a life of freedom and independence has affected him. Be patient and keep feeding him. If he wants to become a housecat, he will let you know. In the meantime, keep him close by, feed him, and try to get him neutered. Then he can come and go as he pleases. Good luck!
Look, do not take it personally. Just make sure she knows you love her and will take care of her and will not leave her. Lots of love, a routine to follow: play, eat, groom, sleep. You already welcomed her into your life, congratulations, you’ve been adopted.
You have made great progress in little time. My own tuxedo cats, who broke a window to get into my house, took years to allow me to pet them, let alone lift them off the floor. Of course, those are the same ones who waited for me at the door, wailing for all the world to hear, as if I left them hungry for ages… Patience we need.
She may need more socialization; however, this is most effective in the critical period before they are 12 weeks old. Take it easy, introduce changes very gradually. Lots of play, catnip treats. make indoors attractive with cat perches and cat trees. Once she experiences how warm it is to sleep on teh TV, she’ll be hooked.
I agree - because this cat has not been socialised and has been living “wild” - it may take a long time for it to overcome its wariness of humans. Also, to be honest, it may be partly due to its own personality - some cats are just more sociable than others, some enjoy being touched by humans, others are more independent and you will never change that. You may have to accept that you may never get this cat to be more “cuddly” with you - but you can still love and enjoy it in a different way.
Our cat was adopted from the local animal rescue at 6 weeks so we’ve had her since the crucial early stage and we’ve socialised her to lots of people, plus spent a lot of time with her ourselves - but she has never been and never will be a “cuddly” cat. She just does not like to be picked up or held in our arms - now, at 5 yrs, we have just managed to get her to accept it for 30s and then she will start struggling and fighting to be put down. She doesn’t run away if you put her down - she’ll strop your legs and stay beside you and she doesn’t mind being stroked sometimes - but she just doesn’t show affection through cuddles. I sometimes wish she was more like my friends’ cats, some of which are so cuddly you can drape them across your shoulders and walk around with them - but we’ve accepted that this is just not her personality. She still loves to interact with us but her way is to play with us - rolling on her back, pouncing on our feet, chasing us around the house, purring - she’ll keep coming up to us and inviting us to play…she is very happy playing but NO cuddling!!
She IS very food orientated, though, so we have used this to gradually get her used to being picked up (as I said, we’ve managed 30s now! ) - we would pick her up then quickly put her down, praise her and give her a treat. Then repeat, hold her a little bit longer before putting down & a treat. Let her associate cuddles with positive things. So maybe you could try the same with your little “wild” cat - find something really tasty that she really likes and only give those to her when you can touch her (even with one finger) - gradually work up to more fingers on her for longer, but always with yummy treats and soft voice.
You will need a LOT of patience - and be prepared for the fact that at the end of the day, you may never be able to get more physical contact with this cat. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you - she does, just in her own way.