Why won't they give you a leaflet?

Taiwan Living in Taiwan
1

The longer I stay in this country the more I become intolerant of people’s attitudes and behaviors, the selfish, aggressive and inconsiderate driving/riding habits are the most visible aspect - there is no other way I can explain or justify it except to say it stems from ignorance.

As for being a foreigner here, there is of course the constant daily battle of language…not taking into account the English practice freeloaders, or those simply showing off…in many parts of the world if you refused to speak the native language of the country to the person in front of you based solely on the physical appearance/race would be considered quite offensive - you would be saying you believe the person is either too stupid to understand or too arrogant to have learned/willing to learn - I am not saying that this is what is going through their minds at that instant, but it has the same effect. Let’s call this ignorance too.

And then there is the curious case of refusing to give you (the foreigner) whatever promotional leaflet or ad for the teashop/restaurant/spa that they give to a hundred people before you and another hundred after you. A few times I tested this for gender or age. Nope! they gave them to every single person walking by, young, old, man, woman…except you. A few times when I have been in a good mood I have turned around and made myself very visible, direct eye contact, smile, hold out my hand. The reactions vary. Some are a little surprised, some ask if you can read Chinese, some apologize - but in almost all cases they give me a leaflet when I ask for one directly - The assumption being that as a foreigner you could not possibly have the ability to read Chinese or God forbid if they looked silly giving a foreigner a leaflet in Chinese! or even worse if the foreigner wanted to ask a question in English! the horror!! This is of course based on ignorance.

Today I was already in a bad mood. I think it had something to do with going into a noodle shop and a young guy, wearing a 1950s suit, who was sitting outside chatting to the waiter (wearing a waiter’s uniform) followed the waiter in with the goofiest smile and staring and observing my every move.

The waiter immediately brought me a ‘special’ English version of the menu - of course as a foreigner I could not possibly read a Chinese menu - I told him, in my broken Chinese that I can actually read Chinese and he immediately turned around to bring the Chinese menu upon which I smiled and said in Chinese that I was only kidding - I do this not to get stressed when it happens about 20 times a week. This is all fine and nothing unusual for Taiwan. But the goofy smile guy is following every interaction between me and the waiter and moving in unison with him, listening intently to my attempts at Chinese and repeating the things he understands in English, such as “…only kidding” and smiling even wider and goofier and staring and waiting for the next entertaining bit.

All I want is to be left alone and eat something and get out of there. So I stare back at him and I ask him in Chinese if I can help him…so he repeats “…help me”. He is still standing and staring back, goofy smile painted on his face. I ask him if he needs something. No effect. I ask him please could you stop staring and just leave me alone! He is confused, the jolly entertaining foreigner looks upset and is not funny any more. so he just stands there, smile gone. The waiter looks uncomfortable, I lose my appetite and leave.

A few minutes later I am on my scooter heading to another eating place and have to stop at a very busy intersection. Two or three girls are handing out leaflets to every single scooter with the word SPA clearly visible in English and of course I am completely invisible to them. So I catch her eye and hold out my hand, she shakes her head. This is quite unusual and since I am already in a bad mood I say “please give me”. She turns her head to the side and deliberately snobs me. I inch forward and ask “why won’t you give me one?” She looks at me and moves to the other side of the intersection to avoid answering me. Ignorance?

Before you engage me in any kind of rational discourse and tell me how it is not about me…blah blah. I would just like to say, this has been a therapeutic rant. Adios!

2

Yes this is frustrating, but it sounds like you might need a short vacation or at least get out of Taipei. It’ll improve you mood and others around you will be in a better mood too.

3

Yeah i bet you are projecting a lot of anger or annoyance and people pick this up.

4

Of course I am…I am annoyed and angry. :doh:

I have tested this. When people are just relaxed and interact with me like a normal person I am very happy and enjoy their company.

When I see them taking horrendous risks with their lives on the roads - for which I care very little - and mine, for which I care a lot! then I get angry. Of course I do. I think, how dare they! I am sharing a road space with them and they have no right to take chances with my life and limbs.

Taiwanese seriously need to get out more (out of Taiwan).

5

[quote=“Tiger Blood”]
When I see them taking horrendous risks with their lives on the roads - for which I care very little - and mine, for which I care a lot![/quote]
You do of course realise that you’re an infinitely miniscule speck of nothingness in an infinite universe? And that high-pitched whining is irritating to the other miniscule specks of nothingness in an infinite universe?

6

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“Tiger Blood”]
When I see them taking horrendous risks with their lives on the roads - for which I care very little - and mine, for which I care a lot![/quote]
You do of course realise that you’re an infinitely miniscule speck of nothingness in an infinite universe? And that high-pitched whining is irritating to the other miniscule specks of nothingness in an infinite universe?[/quote]

Of course! :slight_smile:

7

Culture shock can be a bitch, and it isn’t just for noobs. Take a break. Take the advice above and get out of the city, or off the roc, for a few days. It will help a lot.

Before I met my ex husband, I really was learning Mandarin quite quickly. Then we married and he spoke for us all the time, so I didn’t really learn much while we were married. Then, after divorcing and working in Taiwanese public schools, I started picking it up again fairly quickly. It was a bit of a two edged sword, as I could understand much more than I could say, and could speak enough to sound like I could speak a lot, but I really couldn’t say all I wanted to. An odd place to be, language wise. But I used to engage kids a lot. I’d ask them all kinds of glaringly obvious questions, like if they were married, or where they live and then ask if I can go and see the cute pet pig. Just any silly old thing. I’d ask where they work and then when they said they went to school, I’d ask what they teach.

It was really fun to watch the kids’ faces register. The foreigner can speak human language. The foreigner is silly. The foreigner is having me on. Really funny faces. And sometimes the adults around would register too, that the stupid questions people fire at foreigners all the time must make them look a bit foolish. For me, it was sometimes something of a coping device. It was better than getting angry at constantly being stared at or talked about. It gave me a chance to use my Mandarin on a level I was comfortable at, and it entertained some silly kids and adults.

I dont’ know if you can use all that, but I share it with the hope that it will at least give you the feeling that you’re not so alone in this. The exact issue of the thread title was one I was sensitive to, too. I often actually WANTED the material because it was a sample of a face cream I’d been thinking of trying out, or a coupon I wanted to use. But in the end, not being gifted with another bit of trash to throw out later on isn’t the real issue, is it?

You need to take a break. In the States, a burnt out teacher taking off a day or two for no real reason we call, “taking a mental health day.” That’s what you need to do, OP. Take care of yourself.

P.S. Yes, Jimi, “burnt” is a word. Here in Texas, it means the same as “burned” in the rest of the country.

8

I avoid taking leaflets almost every time they’re offered to me, but it seems to me like the people giving them out should be happy to give them to you unless they’re the ones paying for printing. The faster they hand them out, the sooner they can go home.

What annoys me slightly is when I’m at the checkout counter in a store and they ask every person in front of me, “需要統一編號碼 (Do you need to record your company’s tax ID number on the receipt)?” and “Would you like to buy a bag?” Then when I get to the front of the line, I’m met by complete silence about 50% of the time. I understand that they don’t want the trouble of asking a question that likely won’t be understood, but it’s still annoying being treated differently just because of they way I look.

You just got to try and not let it get to you. It’s part of the “charm” of living here.

9

[quote=“housecat”]

P.S. Yes, Jimi, “burnt” is a word. Here in Texas, it means the same as “burned” in the rest of the country.[/quote]
Are you preempting me, Ms Houscat? :smiley: I agree. And it’s a fine word. :bow:

10

Culture shock dude, what are you, 1-2 years in now? I wrote a rant very similar to this over 10 years ago… How the hell can you guys stand this place…the staring…the noise… Blah blah blah.

These days I don’t feel like that but I did make some compromises like avoiding situations where I may get ‘riled’ up. Sometimes I let the wife do the talking when I know the hicks are going to get all worked up about my foreignness. My Chinese is fairly good now so communication improved and that helped too. If somebody is annoying me I just tell them to take a hike in a very obvious way and nip it in the bud. I also changed and became more mellow , except for when I am driving a car.
These is some good advice there in taking a vacation and getting out of the city.

I’d also say be thankful it’s 2012 because it used to be a LOT more intense.

11

So in a restaurant you want to be given a menu you can’t read and to be left alone. But in the street you want to be harassed. Poor old Taiwan. How is it supposed to cater adequately to your capricious whims?

12

I’m afraid this never works for me either, especially when trying it on with three girls simultaneously.

And why the hell would you want a leaflet about a spa? Just to prove a point? Personally I avoid those people. It annoys me that their employers are creating yet more mountains of trash, and nobody should have to earn their living like that.

As it happens, I’ve also had one of those “WTF is wrong with these people?” days. I’ve just acquired a bit of land up in YangMingShan, and every time I go up there, there’s a pall of smoke hanging over the countryside. The Taiwanese seem unable to leave the smallest twig on the ground without being overcome by a compulsion to set fire to it. As I was engulfed in yet another cloud of acrid smoke from the guy on the plot opposite, I went over to ask if he could just give his trash to me to compost instead of setting fire to it. No, he says, I want to burn it. Assclown. I can only assume this is something like ghost money burning, except they’re sacrificing stuff to the god of ammonium nitrate to assure him/her of their undying devotion. Anyway, sometimes, as HH says, you just have to take a deep breath (assuming you can find some clean air) and count to ten. The world is full of idiots, but you have to get some perspective and realise it’s not everybody. It’s only most of them. And quite frankly, if I went “back home”, I’d be moaning about what a shithole England is. I assume you’d be doing the same.

The advice to get out of Taiwan and take a break is very good indeed. A couple of weeks on the beach in Thailand should do trick. I’m planning something similar before I start backsliding into an “I hate this place” mentality, because I really don’t. Most of the time.

13

I would be very pleased to be immune to being given a leaflet !! Hallelujah!
And the same inane questions at 7/11 . Ditto.

Look on the bright side.

You are a polar bear among brown bears, how the heck can you NOT stand out? Duh !!
Double Duh !

Only way to not stand out completely is be among other Polar bears.

Or. get so good at speaking chinese that you sound and “feel” completely local.

I know a western lady (central american) who has been in taiwan longer then shes been anywhere else basically and fit in so well, nobody really thinks shes “foreign”.

I have walked in Taipei city with her and i mean nobody registers that shes not taiwanese.

Its pretty incredible. Aint nobody gave her a second glance.

In the street, in the restaurant, nothing.

Its because shes acquired the “taiwanese” aura and simply doesnt show on their radar anymore.

Unless someone were to stare at her and then realize that OMG SHES NOT TAIWANESE !!!

14

Personally I am happy not to get molested by leaflet-distributors. Less paper wastage and less trees cut down.

At the end of the day most of these people are well meaning (even the gawker) and think they are making your life easier (in the case of the English menu, that’s true in your case). It’s the fact that you don’t get a choice in the matter and all your efforts to communicate your intentions are ignored which is getting to you, right ? I know how you feel.

Glad you got it off your chest. Yep, a break would do you good. Not that it will be any easier for you when you get back though, unless you just get used to the way things are in Taiwan. Not easy though.

15

You aint gonna change you be a polar bear dude. Act proud … be proud to be polar . And mind the fleas.

16

[quote=“Tiger Blood”]The longer I stay in this country the more I become intolerant of people’s attitudes and behaviors, the selfish, aggressive and inconsiderate driving/riding habits are the most visible aspect - there is no other way I can explain or justify it except to say it stems from ignorance.

As for being a foreigner here, there is of course the constant daily battle of language…not taking into account the English practice freeloaders, or those simply showing off…in many parts of the world if you refused to speak the native language of the country to the person in front of you based solely on the physical appearance/race would be considered quite offensive - you would be saying you believe the person is either too stupid to understand or too arrogant to have learned/willing to learn - I am not saying that this is what is going through their minds at that instant, but it has the same effect. Let’s call this ignorance too.

And then there is the curious case of refusing to give you (the foreigner) whatever promotional leaflet or ad for the teashop/restaurant/spa that they give to a hundred people before you and another hundred after you. [/quote]

You had me until that last bit. a bit of a letdown, isn’t it?

17

Can you consider not comparing Taiwanese/ people in general to animals, bro ? It’s just not a useful or relevant model.

I’ve walked through a field of cows before and not one of them stopped and stared. They just carried on munching their grass.

18

The point, Mr Smarty Pants, is the assumptions they make about foreigners and treating you differently and how that feels - in most cases not pleasant.

I would be a lot happier not understanding what people said to me for six months or a year and suffering for it but eventually and gradually understanding and learning until I could function and be independent and participate in life like a normal person instead of this language purgatory!

The asking for a Chinese menu is a little humor (and I do it in a pleasant and friendly way to make sure they know it is just humor) just to cope with the tediousness of their assumption about your ability to read Chinese.

If you think carefully, both they bringing you an English menu without you asking for one or refusing to give you a leaflet stems from the same assumption - foreigners can not read Chinese!

In the case of the restaurant they can not exactly refuse to give you a menu (Chinese or English), they would be losing your business, but in the case of the leaflet the chance of losing your business is negligible compared to losing face or appearing stupid giving a foreigner a leaflet they KNOW for sure he can not read! Not taking into account the refusal often leaves the person with a feeling of being excluded from normal life. Logically it makes no difference, but emotionally it does. I feel singled out for no good reason, treated ‘special’ for no good reason, excluded for no good reason, ignored for no good reason.

I go to a small family run food place where they make the most delicious seafood noodles and other wonderful dishes…they can not speak a word of English and it is clear they really don’t want to either. At first, I randomly chose items from the menu, just feeling adventurous and basically because I could not read…so after a while I discovered that item number 5 is my favorite so I asked for that a few times. The lady somehow encouraged me to say the name in Chinese when asking for it. So I did next time. I also took the menu home and with the help of some fancy OCR software on my smart phone began to decipher the characters and their meaning - I could kind of read now. This gave me such a good feeling and I actually learned to recognize a few characters for ‘wide strip noodles’ and ‘fried’ and ‘seafood’ etc etc.

Is it too much to ask to just not be treated differently?

19

[quote=“tommy525”]I would be very pleased to be immune to being given a leaflet !! Hallelujah!
And the same inane questions at 7/11 . Ditto.

[/quote]
Some leaflet distributors ignore my inability to read Chinese (I have no idea how they know this :laughing:) and offer me a leaflet and in most cases I decline! It’s not that I want a leaflet…it’s just I want to have the choice of refusing it. If I am not offered one, how can I exercise that choice?

20

[quote=“Tiger Blood”][quote=“tommy525”]I would be very pleased to be immune to being given a leaflet !! Hallelujah!
And the same inane questions at 7/11 . Ditto.

[/quote]
Some leaflet distributors ignore my inability to read Chinese (I have no idea how they know this :laughing:) and offer me a leaflet and in most cases I decline! It’s not that I want a leaflet…it’s just I want to have the choice of refusing it. If I am not offered one, how can I exercise that choice?[/quote]

Living in Taiwan you are going to need to accept this lack of choice, this loss of control. If you don’t then you may well go crazy.