I’m an American in a relationship with a Taiwanese guy. We’re both in our mid 20s and I see this relationship going somewhere serious. When it comes to intimacy, we’ve done things up to third base, but one time when we were discussing sex he said that he believes people should wait until marriage. He said in addition that he wanted to respect me and didn’t want out relationship become something that is just based on sex with no deeper base behind it. I can understand where he’s coming from, although to me
I don’t see what we’re doing right now to really be night and day different from penetrative sex. I’m also completely fine with how things are right now. However, I’m worried about what he’ll think about the fact that I’m not a virgin. I’ve slept with two other guys in the U.S. For my boyfriend, this is his first relationship and I’ve been his first kiss and first everything. He knows I’ve dated other guys in the past, but seems to be under the impression that I’m still a virgin. I’m afraid that if I tell him, this will make the relationship dynamic unbalanced, or he might not be able to understand the cultural reasons for something like this. On the other hand, I feel like not telling him is being dishonest.
Do people have any thoughts about what I should do about this? If you think I should tell him, what’s the best way to bring it up/handle it?