I am beginning to understand the pain parents go through when their kids leave for college. And my son is only 6!
I love seeing my son every day. He’s like this incredible new human every morning.
Will this pass when he’s older and more boring?
Seriously, I plan on moving to his college town just to keep in touch on a regular basis. He’s my masterpiece.
Am I an ownchild stalker??
Have any of you, nonparents alike, kept CLOSE contact with mom and dad after high school? I know the net is great: webcams and all. But I’m a huggerdad. I need my kid everyday.
Being a huggerdad is not an excuse. The more you stalk him, the farther away his college town will be.
You’re a great dad and you seem to like kids a lot. Maybe you should have another child - being someone’s masterpiece is a VERY heavy burden to bear for a kid.
After all, you need to pass on your amazing genes! One Smith-Junior is not enough for this world!
This will pass most likely when he’s older, and faster. :moped:
Don’t forget, you’ll be older as well, and well, not as limber as in the good ol’daze!
Actually for me, it takes about a 24 hour stetch. Then I’m wondering where he is and what he’s into. With my daughter, it’s wondering where she is, and what she’s careening into (she’s just discovering 3rd Gear! :taz: )
[quote=“Notsu”]Being a huggerdad is not an excuse. The more you stalk him, the farther away his college town will be.
You’re a great dad and you seem to like kids a lot. Maybe you should have another child - being someone’s masterpiece is a VERY heavy burden to bear for a kid.
After all, you need to pass on your amazing genes! One Smith-Junior is not enough for this world! :p[/quote]
I don’t know if my huggerly attitude will drive him away. I’m a VERY openminded person and am more into the reasoning behind an action than the action itself.
Will my boy’s failures be my own? I doubt it, not after the age of 12 or so.
I think “He’s so awesome now, why would I not want to be part of his whole life?”
I’m his fan club, but don’t get me wrong, when he mucks up, I’m on him like white on rice…now. When he’s older I imagine I’ll discuss what went wrong if he makes an error in judgement.
That is, if he can manage to sit down at the table while I’m talking.
OK. Your first post sounded kind of desperate - OMG, my son is growing up, help help, I want to be with him, DON’T GOOOO, my son is my life, can’t live without my son, HELP HELP…
[quote=“Notsu”]OK. Your first post sounded kind of desperate - OMG, my son is growing up, help help, I want to be with him, DON’T GOOOO, my son is my life, can’t live without my son, HELP HELP…
I’m glad
(you think)
it’s not that bad. [/quote]
No, it’s not that.
I see families in Taiwan that are SO close. See their kids every stinking day. Why wouldn’t I want that? My son is great.
But then I think it’s selfish of me to expect him to stay so close. Or me to expect him to be so close.
It’s not unheard of.
I don’t have a traditional family background to fall back on. I’m winging it here.
[quote=“jdsmith”]I am beginning to understand the pain parents go through when their kids leave for college. And my son is only 6!
I love seeing my son every day. He’s like this incredible new human every morning.
Will this pass when he’s older and more boring?
Seriously, I plan on moving to his college town just to keep in touch on a regular basis. He’s my masterpiece.
Am I an ownchild stalker??
Have any of you, nonparents alike, kept CLOSE contact with mom and dad after high school? I know the net is great: webcams and all. But I’m a huggerdad. I need my kid everyday.
jdstalker??[/quote]
Get
a
hobby
or
talk
to
your
parents
about
your
moving
out
Best of luck
I don’t know your personality well. But as unparent, I think I would look forward to my children leaving the house, as it means that I would get the house back. But that’s basing an idea on a present state of being. In other words, I’m attached to my kids at school, but want to kick them out of my life at 4 pm on the dot, but having your own kids doesn’t even come close.
You’ll probably feel the loss of him, but look forward to the sharing of stories of his journey thru life…
It’s OK JdSmith, I feel the same way I hope our family follows the traditional Chinese family ways and we’ll at least live in the same town as each other. i can’t stand the thought and my kids are still babies!
I feel I’m pretty close to my parents - but if they’d done that to me then I’d have been a bit freaked out. It would not have made me closer to them emotionally (although I’m sure I’d have taken advantage of the regular free meals on offer and maybe occassional clothes-washing service).
Are you going to be the Dad who’s forcing his son to give him a big hug & kiss outside the school gates every morning while he’s going “Oh Daaaaad! All my friends are watching us …”?
Surely the issue is “How do I get my kid to want to stay emotionally close to me?” rather than “How can I make sure that I can see him every day?”. Ultimately it’ll be him that decides how close the two of you are, not you. All you can do is make yourself available to him …
Am 40 now and my masterpiece boy is 18 months. He is truly the best what happened in my life but I do understand that we can not keep em locked next to us.
After each frustrating day in the office, he is the one who let me forget and brings relief. Are we selfish to pretend that this should not fade away in time. They got bored with the old ones one day, and for sure, when he will discover youth, going out , girlfriends I will be freaking 56! Only hope i can catch up with his generation ideas and wishes.
I had a bad time with the old ones and left the cage (what was called home) when I was 17. Regrets? No. It made me stronger. If our boy wants to go to explore the world, so be it and I will support him all the way I can, where ever he will be whatever he will do.
And do not start sniffing guys… I am is just referring to JD smiths feelings
jdsmith where is your son? did you give this information in another thread? gone south for the holidays?
my wife and i have sent our two down to grandma’s, and we’re currently enjoying three days/evenings of unprecedented freedom. yesterday we went to a movie, had dinner out and went to a pub. we couldn’t remember how many years it had been since the last similar occasion.
we’ll appreciate the kids even more when we see them at the weekend.
My 8 year old son just left for 3 weeks skiing in Europe, he took the airplane ON HIS OWN…and he was so thrilled, my mom picked him up at the airport, I called him when he arrived and he was so proud for travelling on his own (under the supervision of a flight attendant of course) but still. He had a blast.
Anyways, do I miss him? Hell yes, I do, does he miss me? not for a second :fume: :fume: :fume: That little boy is having the time of his life, I stopped calling everyday coz he tells me “Dad, again? what do you want? I don/t have time I am doing another snowman” " I gotta go skiing dad, I love you…bye…"
I am also a big fan of my son and love having him around so I can kiss him and hug him all the time, but I try to give him as much space as possible and more importantly I want to teach him early enough to do things on his own, without us around.
But I do understand you JDS, It’s tough…
I was out of the house at 14, 16 and 17 – I was kind of a “wild child” (read juvenile delinquent). I love my folks but they have their things and I have mine. These days I go back every two years and wish there was less time between visits, but two weeks with them and I’m climbing the walls.
I was just mentioning to my wife last night about “helicopter parents” and what problems they are causing with their college-aged children. Helicopter because, of course, they do nothing but hover around their children, bailing them out of trouble, and going to the college administration the minute they think their kids aren’t getting the treatment the parents think they deserve etc.
Good responses folks. I guess I did forget that my son has a mind of his own and might not want to see ME as much as I want to see him.
The helicopter parent isn’t me at all. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t take an avid interest in what he does.
Someone mentioned going out with the wife alone. THAT is something I do look forward to. But we have that option now, leave the boy at his Aunt’s and catch a flick…
Sandman, I was out at 17 and never really looked back. I like being a family man, and I see some of my firends who have great relatinships with their parents as adults…this I believe is what I’m on about here.
Anyway, this was a trick thread. If you responded in a way remotely similar to my own, you must be a good parent!
Peace.
I am off on vacation for 10 days, with my wife and masterpiece. Off to blow his mind snorkling in the big blue.
But we have that option now, leave the boy at his Aunt’s and catch a flick…