Hello, I am writing this message because I am worried about how my children will adapt to life in Taiwan when we move there this coming July. Basically I am mainly just anxious in case my children are bullied at school. This has lead me to second guess the decision to take a position in Taiwan. It is a sideways move salary wise although it is beneficial to my career. I increasingly doubt the value of uprooting our children from their current lives in Paris.
I am from Sichuan, my wife is from the UK, her parents are from Guangdong, and Taiwan. Our eldest 12 was born in the UK and the youngest 9 in France. We have encouraged our children to identify with their British citizenship but they self identify as Chinese. The fact that they have spent most of their lives in France has complicated things on the identity and language front too.
Iāve noticed, by browsing this website over the last month or so, that the Taipei Beijing tension has been higher than it previously was. I am not concerned about this directly, but I am increasingly alarmed by the possibility of a growing negativity towards Chinese people, and that our children could be singled out in school for being Chinese, and the effect that this could have on them.
I have no concern for myself or my wife: we are both adults with fully formed identities and no major insecurities. However I canāt say the same for our children. In particular our eldest is sensitive and can be very shy, although she has a great circle of friends here in France. I am worried that losing this circle will be a huge blow to her. She is also very proud of her Chinese background and loves when we travel to Sichuan. She insists on speaking Chinese at home more than any other family member does. When I speak with her in English she usually replies in Chinese. I asked her why she does this once and she said ābecause I am Chineseā. I believe she is secretly excited about the move but her official position is that she is reluctant because she will miss her friends. I negotiated with her that life is like that and that friends will change anyway, and that if they are really super good friends she will be able to stay in contact. I am worried about that now, and on top of that I am also worried that her Chinese identity bubble will be burst by this move. I think it could lead to a really rough time for her. Especially as the teenage years are just around the corner too. So basically my gut tells me to back out of the position in Taiwan now before it is too late. My wife doesnāt agree, she says I am way over thinking it.
Iāve seen some posts here that confirm my suspicions that there is underlying negativity towards Chinese people in Taiwan. My wife says that it is just the nature of the internet and the issue is not there in real life. But I donāt believe that is entirely true.
You noted that you are coming in July to take a position. Coming where (i.e. which city)? To take what sort of position? These details would help for this community to figure out what could be possible.
I may be wrong but you may be confusing yourself about Taiwan. The negativity is specifically towards the Beijing government. Although Taiwanese donāt necessarily donāt self-identify as Chinese no one is denying that they are ethnic Han. Do your children self-identify as mainland Chinese? (which would be a bit weird.) Do they make statements like āTaiwan has always been a part of China?ā Are they overly proud of the 5000 years of Han civilization and the great and glorious Chinese people? So long as this isnāt the case Iād say they wouldnāt have a problem here. Of course if they have strong Beijing accents itād be best if they modify those a bit.
Again, there is no negativity towards Chinese people in Taiwan, thatād be weird. Taiwan is Chinese, this is the Republic of China. Taiwan is more Chinese than China culturally. We didnāt have a cultural revolution here to try and destroy traditional cultural practices.
Plenty of families with one Chinese parent in Taiwan. It all depends on how the kids have been raised, which is something that applies to everyone, not just part-Chinese families.
And what school are they going to? Is it international school (TAS,TES) or just a normal elementary & junior-high? Iād be concerned about your eldest fitting in to the intensity of junior-high here. Lots of tests, plenty of homework. Depends what sheās been used to in Parisā¦
I think your kids will be fine in Taiwan, but as @Nuit said, the school will affect the experience a lot.
I think you have no need to be worried about any kind of Chinese identity issues. From what you wrote it sounds like your kids are 100% ethnically Chinese, e.g. they look Chinese. (Apologies if I misinterpreted that.) Guess what, so does 98% of everyone else who lives in Taiwan.
How are their language skills? If they learned from you and your wife and are native speakers, then they probably wonāt have Taiwanese Mandarin accents. So, other Taiwanese kids will know that theyāre from somewhere else. Thatās probably not a huge deal, there are other ethnically Chinese kids like that in Taiwan, and also kids with one or both foreign parents.
To be honest, if your kids donāt speak perfect native Chinese and do speak French/English natively, then Taiwanese kids are much more likely to see them as foreigners rather than Mainland Chinese, and any possible bullying would be more likely to come from that aspect.
The key is to get them into schools with plenty of other kids from non-standard backgrounds. That way they will not stick out. This could be TAS/TES if your company will cover it, or maybe one of the bilingual/experimental local schools if not.
Overall I think you and your family will do just fine in Taiwan with your existing Chinese abilities.
As for bullying I can understand your concern, itās not so much cos they are foreigners or Chinese or whatever itās just at that age kids can be little terrors. Junior high schoolā¦ There are many schools to choose including lots of private schools .
We donāt hate Chinese people but we are affected by the political situation and unfortunately most Chinese donāt respect our democracy and independence here.
But you will find that there is a diversity of opinion in Taiwan more than a few self identify as Chinese.
Iām seeing more and more local people (like the ones who live at my house) who are starting to prefer PRC to USA and Nippon, in part due to recent events.
I doubt that bullying will be the OPās biggest concern.
FWIW, teachers in the elementary and junior high levels (I can only speak for Taipei) are pretty attuned to that stuff these days, and tend to be decidedly proactive in nipping it in the bud, with the full backing of the schoolās administration.
I would be more concerned about the kids not feeling like they fit in.
For kids who have grown up in western countries, kid and teen culture here is likely to be quiteā¦weird, I guess.
Even though it means I will probably never be able to retire we are sending our daughter to TES. We donāt want her to go through the crap the kids have to endure from 13-18.
Same concept applies. If kids have been raised properly, theyāll have 0 issues. If theyāve been raised thinking that Taiwanese people are class B citizens then theyāll have problems.
God, imagine if you rocked up at a school in Tainan and walked around telling all and sundry that Taiwan is part of China? Youād be going home in a Zuchi ambulance for sure.
You can get away with in Taipei, Iāve heard kids say that. Thereās quite a few waishengren and people with interests in China in Taipei .
I even knew somebody who sent their kids to school in China and stayed in Taiwan . Which is really strange but then again there are a lot of messed up family situations here.
At 12 and 9 they probably speak French/English pretty well. Just tell them to say they are from Europe, and they would enjoy a much elevated social status.
If you tell them Taiwan is a part of China at home and they go repeating it outside of your home, they will meet some confrontations, but they might also find some like-minded friends.
Iāve seen more and more mainland Chinese brides/wives (of Taiwanese guys) who moved back to Taiwan with their children to have them go to Taiwan schools. So, the public schools (and likely private ones) will see no difference in this, and neither will the classmates. As someone said, as long as they donāt go spouting out verses in Maoās red book, theyāll fit in just fine.
HWhen u see possible dangers ahead(and u should), u make careful arrangements and develop strategies instead of avoiding yourself from moving into the unknown. I think thatās what your wife meant when she was trying to encourage u.
Bullying happens in every school in all cultures. As long as your kids arenāt acting nuts shouting Taiwan belongs to China, they should just say theyāre Chinese, and people here are just gonna go, ācool, ok!ā
Taiwanese donāt hate Chinese, but those Chinese who endlessly threaten, bash Taiwan and want to claim Taiwan as part of them.
And tribalism is probably also genetic thing for the purpose of survival. Thereās a group identity but thereās also individualism. Generally, ppl are not gonna be likeāyouāre a Chinese, therefore u must be bad.ā Unless u run into some sort of extremist or thereās some serious misconduct on your kidsā part which is probably highly unlikely.
Thank you all for the advice. I wonāt share any more details such as school or city because I donāt want to post our entire family details on a public chat site. But yes, thank you for the comments, actually there are a few useful points in there that are food for thought.
as others have said it depends if you raised your kids to believe the nationalist propaganda. if they are parroting the party line then how do you expect Taiwanese to react?
those things aside, the chinese accent isnāt that well liked here but your kids are young enough to pick up the local accent quick. other than that i would imagine they would be seen as overseas born kids, which aināt bad.