Good ones-though my favorite stupid scene is from Steven Segal “On Deadly Ground” where the white men fly into an Alaskan Indian village where the people live in houses apparently made from mammoth bones and hunt with stone spears.
One of the bad guys shoots the old chief and the natives all fall back in awe of the white man’s thunder stick (if you haven’t seen it, it’s set in modern Alaska.)
What actually would have happened:
Intruders mowed down in a hail of gunfire.
First Indian (reloading): “Whuddya think was wrong with them white men?”
Second Indian (shrugs): “I dunno, just crazy I guess.”
Another one- Transporter, the very end when the Chinese actress opens the semi-trailer hauling the illegal immigrants and reassures them :“Mei shi, mei shi.”
“Mei shi!?! You stupid cow, we put our whole families into debt to the snakeheads to get to France and you hand us over to les flics?!?”
Sometimes those moments that make us cringe or think “what the fuck!” warm the heart even more than the sublime moments.
How about this cliff-hanger scene from the Dynasty spin-off, “The Colbys”? Is it surprising that the series folded after two years?
The Colbys wasn’t necessarily the biggest atrocity. Does anyone remember this abomination from the “Dallas” series? An entire season rendered nul and void so as to allow Patrick Duffy’s re-entry?
I think you have to disqualify this from the running - we were actually drunk-discussing Dallas last night for some reason (like we needed one) and when I brought up the dream sequence, I was reminded by my compadre that we had both worn our palms down to the bone with the good ol’ five finger shuffle over Victoria Principal, so I vote for VP trumping shitty plot device
Oh God, we might as well just declare Chris the winner and move on
Anything from Gremlins comes to mind – the film that made me swear never to see Spielberg’s next film, E.T…
I’ll admit that I randomly chose a segment from Blue Lagoon. Seemed to me that any from that movie would fit the present category.
Closeups of Batman’s ass and codpiece in Batman & Robin.
We really didn’t need to see that, Joel Schumacher.
Ahhh … you got me excited with the mention of Batman and Robin. I was strangely touched by camera angles there as well. But how about this scene from the 60s?
And then there’s the Riddler’s famous line, “You and your trained exploding shark!”
What are you talking about? That was AWESOME! theoatmeal.com/comics/dolphin_punch
De Niro & Penn in “We’re No Angels”, which is somehow on constant rotation on Taiwan HBO.