Good ones-though my favorite stupid scene is from Steven Segal âOn Deadly Groundâ where the white men fly into an Alaskan Indian village where the people live in houses apparently made from mammoth bones and hunt with stone spears.
One of the bad guys shoots the old chief and the natives all fall back in awe of the white manâs thunder stick (if you havenât seen it, itâs set in modern Alaska.)
What actually would have happened:
Intruders mowed down in a hail of gunfire.
First Indian (reloading): âWhuddya think was wrong with them white men?â
Second Indian (shrugs): âI dunno, just crazy I guess.â
Another one- Transporter, the very end when the Chinese actress opens the semi-trailer hauling the illegal immigrants and reassures them :âMei shi, mei shi.â
âMei shi!?! You stupid cow, we put our whole families into debt to the snakeheads to get to France and you hand us over to les flics?!?â
Sometimes those moments that make us cringe or think âwhat the fuck!â warm the heart even more than the sublime moments.
How about this cliff-hanger scene from the Dynasty spin-off, âThe Colbysâ? Is it surprising that the series folded after two years?
The Colbys wasnât necessarily the biggest atrocity. Does anyone remember this abomination from the âDallasâ series? An entire season rendered nul and void so as to allow Patrick Duffyâs re-entry?
I think you have to disqualify this from the running - we were actually drunk-discussing Dallas last night for some reason (like we needed one) and when I brought up the dream sequence, I was reminded by my compadre that we had both worn our palms down to the bone with the good olâ five finger shuffle over Victoria Principal, so I vote for VP trumping shitty plot device
Oh God, we might as well just declare Chris the winner and move on
Anything from Gremlins comes to mind â the film that made me swear never to see Spielbergâs next film, E.TâŚ
Iâll admit that I randomly chose a segment from Blue Lagoon. Seemed to me that any from that movie would fit the present category.
Closeups of Batmanâs ass and codpiece in Batman & Robin.
We really didnât need to see that, Joel Schumacher.
Ahhh ⌠you got me excited with the mention of Batman and Robin. I was strangely touched by camera angles there as well. But how about this scene from the 60s?
My.good.god!
My.good.god! [/quote]
And then thereâs the Riddlerâs famous line, âYou and your trained exploding shark!â
What are you talking about? That was AWESOME! theoatmeal.com/comics/dolphin_punch
De Niro & Penn in âWeâre No Angelsâ, which is somehow on constant rotation on Taiwan HBO.