You could get a lawsuit for staying in a hotel with married person not your partner (no sex)

[PeiHua-Connie]

@DrewC

@qwert_zuiop

And last time I checked, North Carolina wasn’t in the Middle East

Probably has the same level of incest.

Those places allow incest? I did not know that! I just know that in many places in the Middle East you can have more than one spouse.

[MalcolmReynolds]

@qwert_zuiop

I think some US states still have fault-based divorce.

From my understanding, if you catch your spouse cheating, that significantly improves your chances of receiving a favorable treatment in the divorce proceedings. So in a way, the US know the same concept of “damages” for breaking a marriage.

North Carolina (among others) even seems to have a law much more similar to Taiwan’s where you can actually sue a third party for damaging a marriage:

I remember from my days as a Marine stationed in North Carolina that penalties are severe. I helped with the prosecution of a Marine’s wife who committed adultery and video taped it and sent it to her husband while we were fighting in Desert Storm. The Marine got the kids in the divorce, the house and she and the guy went to prison for adultery and producing pornography within the State of North Carolina. ha ha ha.

@AI Gemini says

The U.S. is unusual here because adultery can still technically be a crime in a small number of states, while a different and much smaller group allows the injured spouse to sue the affair partner in civil court.

Because these laws change and some old statutes are constitutionally questionable or rarely enforced, I checked current 2026 sources. As of August 2026, here’s the practical picture.

1. States where adultery is still a criminal offense

Current sources identify 16 states that still have criminal adultery laws on the books:

Alabama
Arizona
Florida
Georgia
Illinois
Kansas
Maryland
Michigan
Mississippi
North Carolina
North Dakota
Oklahoma
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Virginia
Wisconsin

The severity varies substantially:

State - Classification
Michigan Felony
Oklahoma Felony
Wisconsin Class I felony
Alabama Misdemeanor
Arizona Misdemeanor
Florida Misdemeanor
Georgia Misdemeanor
Illinois Misdemeanor
Kansas Misdemeanor
Maryland Misdemeanor
Mississippi Misdemeanor
North Carolina Misdemeanor
North Dakota Misdemeanor
Rhode Island Misdemeanor
South Carolina Misdemeanor
Virginia Misdemeanor

For example, Michigan’s statute makes adultery a felony punishable by up to five years; Oklahoma allows up to five years and/or a fine; and Wisconsin makes it a Class I felony with a maximum of 3½ years and a $10,000 fine.

But there is a very important distinction: the existence of a statute does not mean that a cheating spouse is realistically going to be prosecuted. Civilian prosecutions for adultery are extraordinarily uncommon, and many of these laws are essentially dormant.

Also, the fact that a state criminalizes adultery doesn’t generally give the betrayed spouse the right to personally prosecute the cheating spouse. Criminal charges are brought by the government.

What about fines?

Where adultery is a misdemeanor or felony, the government, not the injured spouse, imposes whatever criminal fine the statute permits. The betrayed spouse generally doesn’t get that money.

That’s different from a civil lawsuit, where the injured spouse can potentially recover money damages.

2. Can the betrayed spouse sue the cheating spouse for “adultery”?

Generally, no.

The traditional criminal offense of adultery isn’t ordinarily a private civil cause of action against your spouse. Most states have abolished the old “heart balm” lawsuits that allowed spouses to seek damages over marital misconduct.

There are, however, two important exceptions to understand:

Divorce/family-law consequences
Lawsuits against the third party—the affair partner

The first is much more common.

Adultery can affect issues such as alimony/spousal support and, depending on the state and circumstances, property division or other aspects of divorce. That’s very different from receiving a tort judgment simply because someone cheated.

3. Can you sue the “other person”?

Yes, but only in a very small number of states.

This is where alienation of affection and criminal conversation come in.

As of 2026, the clearest current list of states recognizing these types of claims is:

Hawaii
Mississippi
North Carolina
South Dakota
Utah

There is an important recent development: New Mexico abolished alienation-of-affection claims in January 2026, so older lists that include New Mexico are now outdated.

Illinois is another state you’ll frequently see on older lists, but it abolished its alienation-of-affection cause of action in 2016.

4. What is “alienation of affection”?

This is a civil lawsuit against the third party.

The theory is essentially:

“My marriage had genuine love and affection, you intentionally interfered with it, your interference caused my spouse’s affection to be lost, and I suffered damages.”

The defendant can be the affair partner, although the tort theoretically isn’t limited to romantic partners.

The plaintiff generally has to establish things along the lines of:

There was genuine love and affection between the spouses.
That affection was subsequently lost or diminished.
The defendant’s wrongful conduct caused or contributed to the loss.
The defendant’s conduct was intentional or wrongful under that state’s law.

The precise elements vary by state.

And importantly, you don’t necessarily have to prove merely that sex occurred. Alienation of affection focuses on the destruction/interference with the marital relationship.

5. What is “criminal conversation”?

Despite the alarming name, criminal conversation is a civil tort, not a criminal prosecution.

Historically, it essentially meant:

A third party had sexual intercourse with someone’s spouse.

It is therefore much closer to a civil lawsuit for adultery against the outside person.

Cornell’s Legal Information Institute describes it as a common-law tort allowing a spouse to sue a third party for sexual intercourse with the spouse.

So you can have a situation like:

Husband + Wife + Affair Partner

The wife might potentially sue the affair partner, rather than suing her husband, depending on the state’s law.

Some jurisdictions recognize both alienation of affection and criminal conversation, which can allow the same affair to generate different theories of liability.

6. North Carolina is particularly important

North Carolina is probably the most notable state for this because these lawsuits are still actively litigated there.

North Carolina expressly provides procedures for both:

alienation of affection, and
criminal conversation.

Its statute also imposes important restrictions. For example, conduct occurring after the spouses physically separated with the intent that the separation be permanent generally cannot serve as the basis for these claims, and the action has a three-year limitations period from the defendant’s last relevant act.

So the timing and circumstances of the marriage matter enormously.

7. Can you recover a “fine” from the affair partner?

Not technically a fine.

A fine is a criminal punishment paid to the government.

In a civil case, the plaintiff can potentially receive:

compensatory damages, damages for loss of the marital relationship, emotional/distress-related damages where permitted, potentially other consequential damages, and in appropriate cases, punitive damages.

Those are damages awarded to the plaintiff, rather than criminal fines paid to the state.

Some of these cases have resulted in extremely large verdicts, although that doesn’t mean a typical plaintiff will receive millions of dollars.

8. The really important distinction

There are actually three different legal questions:

Situation Typical legal result
Spouse cheats Usually not a civil lawsuit for “adultery”
State has adultery statute Government theoretically can prosecute, although prosecution is extremely rare
Spouse cheats and divorce follows Adultery may affect divorce/alimony depending on state
Affair partner interferes with marriage Usually no lawsuit, but a handful of states recognize alienation of affection
Affair partner has sex with spouse In some states, criminal conversation allows civil damages
Criminal adultery conviction Fine goes to government, not betrayed spouse
Successful civil tort case Damages can go to betrayed spouse

9. One particularly interesting wrinkle: where the affair happened

If you’re asking this because you’re considering an actual lawsuit, the state where the plaintiff lives isn’t necessarily the only relevant state.

For example, questions can arise about:

where the marriage was located,
where the spouses lived,
where the affair occurred,
where the affair partner lived,
where the marital relationship was damaged,
whether the parties subsequently moved,
whether the defendant can be sued in that state, and
whether that state’s court will apply its own law or another state’s law.

That can make the answer substantially more complicated than simply saying “the plaintiff lives in North Carolina.”

And Utah is currently in transition, so I would be particularly careful about relying on older articles listing Utah without checking the effective date of the 2026 legislation.

Bottom line

If your question is “Can a betrayed spouse sue the affair partner?” — yes, but in 2026 that possibility is essentially limited to a handful of states, principally Hawaii, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah.

If your question is “Can the cheating spouse themselves be criminally prosecuted?” — technically yes in about 16 states, including Michigan, Oklahoma and Wisconsin as felony jurisdictions, but actual civilian prosecutions are extraordinarily rare.

If you tell me which state the married couple lived in, which state the affair partner lived in, and where the affair occurred, I can look at the jurisdictional rules and explain whether an alienation-of-affection or criminal-conversation lawsuit could actually be brought, what would have to be proved, the statute of limitations, and what damages could potentially be recovered.

[RandomName]

The united states of biblical laws… almost sounds like iran.

[qbert]

So that scene from Jarhead where the guy’s wife sends a video of her banging another dude and flipping her Marine hubbie off to the camera was based on this real event?

Note that Arkansas is not on that list of states making adultery illegal. That was because of one brave and inspired man, Bill Clinton. He made repeal of such puritanical laws his personal crusade. In fact, one could say that he was quite passionate about his beloved, deeply personal cause.

[MalcolmReynolds]

@qbert

So that scene from Jarhead where the guy’s wife sends a video of her banging another dude and flipping her Marine hubbie off to the camera was based on this real event?

Holy shit. No way… I don’t know. I have not seen the movie. In fact, I don’t watch war movies of any kind due to my own personal experiences.

Did that true story really end up in the Jarhead movie? Isn’t that with the black actor who played Ray Charles and recently had medical issues. Jamie Fox, right?

Yep…I left the part out about flipping off her husband in the video. Did they actually get the story straight? Here’s some more actual details of some incidents.

Boredom and waiting for the war to being was the worst! I even remember General Gray coming out to give a motivational speech to us and he specifically told us Marines to stop asking when we would attack and/or when we would be going home. We needed to clear out minds and be the tip of the spear for what was to come.

Alcohol and porn were absolutely restricted while we were in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia while we were sitting around in the desert during the Desert Shield portion of the mission back in fall of 1990. But, Marines always find a way to break the rules, improvise, overcome and adapt.

Moonshine
I remember taking away a still that a bunch of crafty Marines had constructed to make moonshine. They scrounged the parts they needed and those that they couldn’t procure, they had family send it over in care packages or had other Marines still deploying from the US bring it over. That would have been September or October 1990 if my memory still serves me. But, they didn’t send all the parts to one Marine and/or didn’t have one Marine bring it all in. That’s where it got very clever. Each Marine would have their family member send a different part, like copper tubing and after all the parts arrived, they assembled it together. Very clever.

Porn
So, Marines would have a trustworthy family member go out and purchase a VHS tape of a cartoon movie or something that could clear Saudi customs. You know, like I seem to recall Turner and Hooch and Sea of Love as ones I think they had. Also, Disney films like Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, etc. So, the family member would buy the film and then forward the movie about 20 minutes in and then tape over the punch out on the edge so they could record on it and then record a porn movie over the top of the original. Then they would rewind it, repackage it and send it over. It was usually some innocuous cartoon for about 20 minutes or so, then the porn would begin. That’s what this wife did to her husband. And yes, she was getting railed from behind and the camera pans out and she turns and flips off her husband.

Not surprised it made it into an actual hollywood movie. It was an epic story that was told for years.

[RandomName]

Yes, the scene had the homemade clip recorded over the closing credits of a VHS movie. So everyone was watching it a cheering until the guy realised it was his wife and neighbour.

[MalcolmReynolds]

@RandomName

Yes, the scene had the homemade clip recorded over the closing credits of a VHS movie. So everyone was watching it a cheering until the guy realised it was his wife and neighbour.

That is what happened. And that’s how Marines smuggled porn into Saudi Arabia. But, the actual film was I think a Disney movie. Donald Duck comes to mind or perhaps Looney Tunes. Anyway, the porn happened at about the 10 minute mark and everyone was cheering because he had already said that the VHS tape contained porn.

The movie was stopped and the Marine was immediately taken to see the Navy chaplain for counseling.

[RandomName]

Maybe it was after the opening credits in the movie…

Probably best not to ask your wife to record some porn and send it to you

[ChewDawg]

@PeiHua-Connie

Those places allow incest?

ME has the highest rate of cousin marriage in the world, with roughly 50% to 65% of marriages involving biological relatives.

Top Countries with High Rates

• Pakistan: ~61.2%–65%
• Kuwait: ~54.3%
• Qatar: ~54%
• United Arab Emirates: ~50.5%

[RandomName]

Marriage between first cousins

[ChewDawg]

Lots of health probs with consanguineous marriage

[Kalle]

@RandomName

Marriage between first cousins

The reason some European countries are moving to ban it, is to create one more law that can try to protect young women from being sent home to their parents birth countries on vacation and being forced to marry their old cousin while visiting.

This can help to protect young women who have just passed the legal age to get married, but of course should not be forced to be married to somebody their family chooses (often cousins). So the legal system has one more law they can use to protect the young women when they return and reaches out to the legal system for protection

[bz]

@ChewDawg

Lots of health probs with consanguineous marriage

If it’s just once in a great while, occasionally, randomly, it’s not really a big deal, which is why it’s still legal so many places, but those 50%+ rates are insane, definitely problems!

[RandomName]

Also, the royals and landed classes used to practice it in the past. In the case of the latter this was more prevalent before reforms to allow women to inherit property.

[Shaun008]

@bz

If it’s just once in a great while, occasionally, randomly, it’s not really a big deal, which is why it’s still legal so many places, but those 50%+ rates are insane, definitely problems!

This talk of interfamilial marriage reminded me of a training course I did many years ago and we watched this documentary.

Listen to the older bloke at the table, I couldn’t believe he said what he says, and the fact that he said it like it was just normal practice.

If I have done it correct to should be at the correct point so you don’t need to watch it all.

Oliver Sacks: The Mind Traveller "The Ragin' Cajun"

[qbert]

[PeiHua-Connie]

This case ordered to pay 200,000, going with the married partner.. After they went to Japan , and made a baby

linko

前胸貼後背...新竹人妻交友軟體偷吃！飛日本爽玩還「懷了小王的種」　尪手機跳1通知才知綠爆 - 鏡報

[Brianjones]

All the gossip lol…so many fake judgemental people