I knew because I am deeply in love with a mom who is probably not much different from your mom. They really don’t mean it, but you knew that already. Amy Tan has it figured out pretty well I’d say.
The right thing to say is: “Thank you for helping me see my weaknesses and supporting me in my quest to be a better person.” In Chinese, something like “Mama, ni jen de hen liao jie wo. Wo hui geng nuli.”
isn’t “xiao kan wo” more like “underestimate”? I was thinking something along the lines of “bugou chengren wo de gongxian,” can’t quite “hear” it ideomatically though?