When the classic rock channel back home plays a Van Halen tune from high school and it takes a full minute to comprehend what just happened.
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You have to trim your nose hairs on a weekly basis to keep them at bay.
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When you get in an elevator anywhere and the Muzak consists of all your high school hits
When your Doc is younger than youâŚmuch younger
When you think a college professor is cute
When your fav musicians are all dead or look dead
When you qualify for all the âold guy âdiscounts and you are excited about them
When you know what a record and a record player is and have a record collection
When you have seen at least 10 Summer Olympics on TV
When you know who Ed Sullivan was , oh and Andy Williams is your fav singer
When you see a 20 year old girl in a miniskirt with her mom in a mall âŚand you think the mom is pretty cute
When Moon Liver was a huge hit in Taiwan
When you can sing along to Guantanamera
This is me, basically. I was Lisaâs age when that tired show first went on the air. Now Iâm 35.
You know youâre old when the idea of getting wasted and going out to a crowded, noisy nightclub on a Sat night sounds like the worst kind of hell imaginable. Now your idea of weekend fun is reading a book or catching up on some NetFlix after your baby falls asleep.
And you join the TPapocalypse
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What about Wyclefâs rendition? Still old ehďźďź
Old is relevant.
I remember the first time I realized I wasnât young anymore when a little boy looked up at me and said âyour a neat old guyâ. I was 22.
Did you beat the kid up for his insolence?
He should be lauded for mastering the art of the backhanded compliment at such a young age.
He shouldâve gotten in that little kidâs face and growled âWhat do you mean Iâm NEAT?!? And âguyâ?? Are you assuming my gender?!â
Youâre a mean old man! 
Not sure about this one. Record collecting is all the rage now. If anything, having a CD collection is a mark of age.
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When you hear your favorite rock tune in done in âbeautiful music styleâ and used as background music.
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Iâd rather let my nose hairs merge into my mustache than suffer this carnage!
The MRT seats of my line are slowly growing a beard.
Iâm not sure what this means, but it doesnât sound good.
Just keep your hands in your pockets next time you take the MRT.
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