Your favorite moment in Taiwan Politics?

Politics Taiwan Politics
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Say what you want about the politics in Taiwan, but nothing beats it in terms of entertainment value. Here are a few of my favorite moments:

  1. At a KMT rally in Taichung during the 1998 legislative/mayoral elections, I saw Lee Teng-hui carried out on stage in a tribal sedan chair by a group of oiled up muscle men. A-hui was the man of the evening, wearing Atayal tribal pants, a blue baseball jersey with KMT emblozoned across the chest, and a shiny silver circa-WWI German field marshal’s helmet (complete with spike). Lee picked up a bow and arrow, aimed it at a target (supposed to represent victory in the elections) , pulled back and fired. The arrow traveled exactly halfway up the wire that was connected to the target, and stopped dead in mid-air. A ghastly silence fell over the crowd for a second before fireworks exploded behind the target and everyone partied on as if nothing happened. KMT political theater ran headlong into the maw of ominous foreshadowing!

  2. Taichung county legislator-cum-convicted gangster Yen Ching-piao jumping up on stage during a mid-Autumn festival celebration two years ago dressed as the Jade Bunny, dancing around and beating on a little drum.

  3. Has-been Kaohsiung Mayoral candidate Shih Ming-teh refusing to bow out of the race last year while at the same time suspending campaigning. “I am alone and lonely. But I am right”.

  4. Various independent gangster legislators forming their own secret club, appropriately called “the Justice League”

  5. Lee Teng-hui sending then-provincial governor James Soong the news he was about to get downsized via an 8 character buddhist verse written by Lee that more or less said “Get over it”.

  6. “I love my wife, and I’d never do anything to her…like beat her.” -Chen Shui-bian to Lien CHan during a debate.

  7. Ma Ying-jeou’s campaign commercials during the ‘98 mayoral campaign featuring Horse Hero-9 runnin’ around in his cute li’l jogging shorts.

  8. Both CCK-bastard child John Chang AND DPP shuai-ge Cheng Yu-chen getting busted for boinkin’ psychotic Milf Sophie Wang (a special tip of the hat to Cheng for going to the press that Wang liked it rough, and bit him on the leg).

  9. “Now-I-have-Atayal-facial-tatoos-and-now-I-don’t” hottie/political opportunist May Chin getting busted for boinkin’ that weird looking married ex-basketball star with the molester moustache.

  10. Anything where Diane Lee either gets smacked by a geriatric gangster or humiliated for wrongly accusing rival politicians of homosexual earlicking.

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This stuff is dynamite . . . . . . .

Editors of the TAIPEI TIMES??? . . . . . . . are you reading this?? You should offer this BotelTobago fellow a political satire column . . . . . and I mean now!!!

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Botel got the best of 'em, but here are a few extras…

Lien Chan getting chased back onto a helicopter by a mob of angry post 921 villagers as they shouted, " what can you do for us right now?"

Attention starved Jamese Soong dropping to his knees like a toad-eyed Al Jolson to campaign for Ma Ying Jiu and later pulling the same stunt for his own vice-presidential bid.

DPP Legislator Lin chong muo who, when after calling Sissy Chen a whore when asked to apologize by angry feminist groups, Lin conveniently slips in the bathroom and breaks his front teeth on the rim of the toilet.

Chen Shui Bian’s cowboy boots from Tom Delay. ( Not to be out done, Jiang Zemin has been seen sporting a three cornered hat of the American Revolution)

VP Lu calling for Taiwan to be like Hello Kitty.

That Taichung legislator who was found high on dope in receiving some S&M from a couple of whores who then tried to blackmail him.

All of the hooded accusers who, rather than hire a lawyer, solicit the PFP to represent them to accuse a DPP member of inpropriety or just plain shame the government. (The ear licker, the Paraguayan ambassador giving girls STDs, The bodyguard with the gun in his briefcase…)

All of Lee Teng Hui’s remarks regardingt “some people who have degrees in Political Science”, whenever he is about to lay the smack down on Lien Chan.

Taichung Mayor Jason Hu’s ambitious plan to turn Taichung into “another Seattle”

Joytopper/Zhutoupi/Pig Head Skin’s song about Ma Ying Jiu. “There’s a good looking dog that runs around Taipei, but really does nothing.”

Former Taichung mayor Zhang Wen Ying breaking from the DPP in an acute case of sour grapes, running as an independent with a loose affiliation with Shih Ming Teh’s Mountain party (ironically Zhang, a dentist, performed plastic surgery on Shih while he was on the lam) going around the city and beneith overpasses to ask homeless people to go to another city so she wouldn’t look bad.

too tired to continue…

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too many to recall since 1987 but just on the last election:

dont know if anyone else saw this but my favorite “heart-warming” moment was the dpp guy who, as it became clear the dpp had pulled off the impossible and re-elected a-bian, jumped on stage and launched into the most hilarious, jig of joy i have ever seen (we’re talking pure, unrestrained, spontaneous goofiness here) …made me proud to be a supporter of the “good guys”…

oh and that NP facists slam dunk on a-bian’s portrait was pretty good too…did it again last week i see…

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James Soong, lip a-quiver, claiming he was so poor his mother’s toilet door was broken and no money to fix it.

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Not the favorite moments, but some of my favorite videos.

  1. vega.cs.tku.edu.tw/~u7198078/kneel_down.wmv

A funny video showing Liang/Soong kept on kneeling down or getting on the ground begging people to vote for them. Their nickname being “連阿趴” “宋阿跪”.

The funniest moment in this video was when President Chen making his comment regarding to Liang/Soong’s kneeling down actions. He said “Stop kneeling down, if you guys keep on kneeling down then one day you won’t even know how to stand up”, and “Stand UP” was Liang’s Chinese name.

Many people actually called Soong “Soong The Three-Kneel” (宋三跪) because he kneel down on three different occasions and also because “Three Kneel” is in similiar sound to the general who sold out the Ming Dynasty and opened the gate for the Manchus army. He was rewarded afterwards by the Qing Dynasty as being appointed to become a very high official with a large territory.

Similarly, the nickname implies that Soong will either sell out the KMT if there’s a merger between the KMT and PFP, since that’s like opening the door for the PFP troopers for a hostile take over, or he will sell out Taiwan and open the gate for the Communists if he ever becomes the president.

  1. vega.cs.tku.edu.tw/~u7198078/int … lashes.wmv

A video of Liang/Soong verbally bashing each other during the year 2000 election compaign. Weird thing was that at that time Liang was for the “Special State to State” relationships with China and was opposed to opening the 3 links with China.

  1. vega.cs.tku.edu.tw/~u7198078/CATV39_0321.wmv

Pan-blue politicians always cry foul whenever people question their association with the commies, but here is the footage showing their laywer almost mistakenly calling the “ROC” as “PRC” in Manderin on national television.

She was like “Taiw…no I mean, People’s Repu…WAIT!! I mean, Repulic of China”

(She didn’t want to say the word Taiwan because Taiwan is more of a TI’s slogan, and in her mind, not the proper term for the country)

There was another instance where she said if the Court do not judge in their favor, then the judiciary system in Taiwan must be unfair. There was yet another instance where she was crying on TV, complaining about how hard and how unfair is being a Waisheng Ren living in Taiwan, as if they were gonna loose the court case because she is a Waisheng Ren.

She is got to be one of the stupidest laywer they could’ve ever find for their 2004 post-election disputes, but I think she looks kinda cute. :slight_smile:

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:bravo:
Anyone have footage of the octogenarian KMT member who stabbed himself during the party congress a few years back to protest against Lee Teng-hui?

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I would still really like to get my hands on footage of Lian Zhan from the 2000 elections when everything was prepared for the big party and suddenly it turned out he was the loser that evening and all the media (who had been waiting for the victory too) came and asked for his comment. That face…

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When CSB was the mayor of Taipei

  1. Televised interview of why he dodge the draft. My arm bends to much. Weep
  2. Shutting down of all video arcades in Taipei city. Even the one in Sogo.
  3. Trying to put all the licensed prostitutes out of work in Taipei city, and ignoring all the unlicensed prostitutes in the city.
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. . . and followed soon after by a gang of three clods who claimed to have kidnapped Bai Xiaoyan (Bai Bingbing’s daughter) cos their legit video gaming parlour had been closed down.

HG

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…only to be killed later because the tv news reporters insisted on following and broadcasting the “dropoff” car with the ransom money to the “secret” location live on local TV.

When freedom of the press goes so very wrong.

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Or the time when Mayor Ma was out on the River to inspect cleanup efforts only to find a corpse floating nearby. Cleanup, indeed.

I went to Lee Ying-yuan’s final rally during the Taipei mayoral campaign and got to see a) MAC chairwoman Tsai Ying-wen pitifully crash and burn onstage trying to get the crowd warmed up, b) Good old Lee Teng-hui sending the crowd batshit by announcing he was gonna sing “Night Rain Flowers” for them, and then completely forgetting the words to the song.

Therafter under the CKS entrance gate I met the famous “Happy Auntie” from the tea commercials (got her bidness card, too!) and boogied down with her and a very fat “strongman” who was posing for the crowd for no reason.