I think it’s rather difficult to compare Taiwan, a place with a relatively homogenous culture, with a place the size of mainland China. I’ve lived in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and now Dongguan, Guangdong. Having only travelled a bit in the Yangzte delta, I can’t really make any useful comparisons between Taiwan and all of mainland China. When I make comments about the mainland, keep in mind that my experience has mostly been in Dongguan and that Dongguan is not exactly the culture capital of China.
I think it’s informative to compare how people react to seeing a foreigner with a Chinese spouse/gf/bf walking down the street. My wife is from Hong Kong. When we walk down the street in HK, nobody even blinks. Even in the more country bumpkin areas of New Territories, nobody cares. We could display affection in public and it still doesn’t seem to bother anybody. In Taiwan, people would often stare, but in a non-malicious, curious way. I don’t remember anyone ever openly showing disapproval. On the mainland, however, we NEVER hold hands or do anything in public that would show we are “together.” It just brings too much trouble. When we are in public together, people always stare at us, and usually in a prejudiced way. There have been a few times when people have tried to start a confrontation. Dongguan is a little worse in this respect because there are so many uneducated people from the interior who are here to work in the factories.
In my experience, Taiwanese people are more open and approachable. Part of this is because of me. While I am pretty good in Guoyu, I’m quite lazy about learning Cantonese. Therefore, I don’t fit in well in group situations with Hong Kong people since they will always speak Cantonese with each other. The good thing about HK people is they have a relatively high respect for the rule of law. They don’t put so much emphasis on guanxi and there is a lot less corruption in HK society. HK doesn’t have the same degree of democracy as Taiwan, but HK people are generally more civic minded. However, I often feel that HK people can be a bit shallow and arrogant. They think they are quite worldly just because they have had so-called bi-lingual education (it’s really a half-&ss attempt). I actually think they can be quite ignorant about Taiwan and the mainland. Their Guoyu, while getting better, is still a joke. A lot of the perceived shallowness is probably due to HK being a big city. I grew up in a mid-sized US city where the lifestyle was a lot slower. I admit my bias.
I usually think Taiwanese people are more relaxed, open and tolerant. Their English isn’t as good as HK’s, but there has been broader access to public education for a longer period than in HK. Taiwanese don’t learn as much English or get as much exposure to the outside world, but the education they do receive is a bit more balanced than in HK. A disproportionate amount of class time in HK is spent on English and Chinese taught in Cantonese, with less attention on sciences, maths or social studies. There is also better access to higher education in Taiwan than in HK (and obviously the mainland). I think this has led to a lot more social and economic equality in Taiwan, whereas the income gap in China and HK is only growing. I’m not saying that Taiwan has the education system to emulate, but it has its strong points when compared to HK and the mainland.
I said that HK people respect the rule of law. Taiwan people still do a lot of things by the good old boy system and Taiwan is not as civil a society as HK. However, I think most Taiwanese people at least recognize this as a problem. Most mainlanders, even the younger ones, still have no concept of the rule of law. Consciously or unconsciously, Taiwanese people have made a trade off of having more liberty (the liberty to spit betel nut juice on the pavement, the liberty to park a scooter in a hospital ambulance lane, the liberty to run every red light one encounters) and more democratic rights (the right to elect xenophobic, parochial bumpkins like the DPP and TSU) for less rule of law. This is a messy trade off, but at least Taiwan has two out of the three. The mainland has none of them, liberty, democracy or the rule of law. Even on its weakest point, the rule of law, Taiwan is no worse off than the mainland.
I have found Taiwanese to be pretty tolerant and understanding of other people’s religious or political views. You can talk about most things without fear of touching a raw nerve. At worst, you’ll just meet a bit of ignorance. Mainlanders, however, are morel likely to see things in black and white, especially concerning foreign affairs. Don’t even bother trying to discuss Taiwan with them if they are in a GROUP. This has been a problem for me. Many mainlanders I get to know eventually figure out that I learned Chinese in Taiwan because I still use a lot of Taiwan phrases and write proper Chinese characters (as opposed to Gongchanzi=commie characters). As a result, they eventually want to discuss Taiwan. They don’t actually want to hear my opinions; they just want to check if I have the “correct view.” I am not pro-independence, at least if that means de jure, UN recognized independence, but I see no need to rush into unification. They can’t accept that. When in groups, they will tolerate no grey on this. If you don’t agree with everything they say (the recitation of the party line on Taiwan, whether in Chinese or in English, is probably one of the few things that is the same all over China), then be ready for the never ending Taiwan Diatribe