[quote=“sandman”]No, my real thrust was at the whole “foreigners in Taiwan” thing, as if such behaviour was in some way different from male behaviour elsewhere.
And the bragging part of it as mentioned by Mod Lang – that’s pretty lacking in class, wouldn’t you say? But again, far from limited to foreigners in Taiwan.[/quote]
Absolutely true! Any kind of bragging tends to grate, unless it is very well seasoned with self-deprecation and jest. And braggards of the ilk under scrutiny can be found wherever there are males with that dangly thing between their legs, whatever its colour or length or girth.
But I need to be reminded, what does all of this have to do with Taiwanese people staring and pointing at foreigners?
Or the ones who think they have to make out with their taiwanese girlfriends just because they think someone out there who happens to glance their way gives a flying sh-niff about their trophy. I think showing off is an ugly trait and a reflection of a lack of self-confidence.
Why do couples insist on making out in public? It’s gross and obnoxious. Thankfully Taiwan is an oasis of sanity in that department, where I don’t have to be assualted by people constantly kissing and necking and doing all but going all the way, as is the case in much of America.
Ummm … I see plenty of that here too … usually some whiny looking high school girl making out with her half brain-dead looking boyfriend kissing on a bench waiting for the MRT, or in some park, or whatever …
But back to the original topic … I bet if two foreigners were caught making out in public here, that would get some real pointing and staring … “Look, it’s one of those monkey mating rituals I saw on Discovery the other night!”
I wouldn’t mind taking the odd peek or two at pretty xiaojies having their clothes unbuttoned, unzipped, pulled up, slid down, or removed altogether by ardent suitors making out with them in public places. I could well appreciate handiwork like that!
One thing that suprises me is that the more “sophisticated” areas or in situations where you’d expect to see a foreigner, such as walking around downtown or in Tianmu or some similar place, you get a lot more stares than you would in a place or situation where you wouldn’t expect to find a foreigner, i.e. some small country towns, at an election booth, etc. At least that’s been my experience. I find I get the most stares in downtown Taipei, so the whole “they don’t see many foreigners” concept seems inaccurate. It seems that the more foreigners they’ve seen, the more likely they are to point and stare.[/quote]
Agreed. I find it amusing that some posters here regard “mainland China” as one homogenous lump, where people from Anhui and Hunan can meaningfully be compared with people from Shanghai and Beijing. Does any reasonable person expect to travel to the interior of China and not be stared at ? Do any of you who talk about “mainland China” know the difference between a Shanghai native and a construction worker from Xinjiang who stares at you on the Bund ? Do you know that these same migrant peasants stare and point at local Shanghai people too !? It reminds me of a Taiwanese news report from Shanghai which quoted a “Shanghai 市民” interviewed on the Bund. As anyone who knows anything about Shanghai can tell you, you will not find anyone actually from Shanghai on the Bund. Well done TVBS !
[quote=“fredericka bimmel”]Yeah, and Mainland China is the 3rd world so they have a better excuse!
Back in '93 I recall drawing a crowd of squatters in my ex husband’s (lao jia) village in Hunan.[/quote]
What on earth did you expect in Hunan ? Can you honestly take issue with people in Hunan for staring at foreigners ? We are talking about Taipei. Some people in Taipei think that living in a Mandarin (or Taiwanese) speaking ghetto in the States for a few years gives them a solid basis for forming an unshakeable belief about foreigners in Taiwan. Peasants in China, on the other hand, are staring at you in the same way that you would stare at Zaphod Beeblebrox if he materialised in your living room. Don’t get me wrong, many Shanghai natives stare, and they have no excuse, but peasants do. Stories of being stared at by Chinese peasants are no more relevant to this thread than stories of travelling to equatorial Africa and finding it was awfully hot. (BTW, China would be the Second World, according to the classification you have used… )
Precisely. We are living in Royston Vasey.
Being stared at is totally fine by me. But if I hear the words “Taipei” and “international” juxtaposed one more time…
While it seems that most Taiwan families have at least one person currently living or studying abroad at any given time, this is still far from being very internationalized place. At the airport, there was a sign in English promoting “Multicultural Taipei” with a picture of Taiwan’s wide variety of Chinese people. It would have made a great postcard to send home.
Uh, yeah. I was drawing comparisons there, hexuan. The kind of staring one gets in China is maddening, but staring and pointing here is well, bit sad really.
I had three different sets swivel and yell “Herro” at me when I was waiting for a bus yesterday in Neihu. I wasn’t overly pleasant to that last set when two of my fingers spontaneously shot up! :? I considered that I was rather rude later, but god help me, it was a knee-jerk reaction. Threads like this don’t help much! :shock:
And China, the parts (NOT along the coast–Yunan, Hunan, Guizhou, Sichuan, Guangxi) that I traveled in 1993 were most definitely the 3rd World. And I imagine most of those areas still are.
[quote=“Alien”]Matthew! You mean you’d look the other way if I passed you on the street rather than giving me a big fluffy hug in front of your xiaojie?? [/quote]I said “hello” to you when I passed you at the bus stop and you made a rude sign at me :shock:
Man oh man was I nice to everyone the first few months here. I tried smiling and saying hello when they stared. Tried hello in English and then CHinese, then just in Chinese. There are exceptions, but I get so many evil glares it is unreal. Maybe its Tainan, not really known for its sophistication or worldliness, but I am just hating it here. I have made some local friends, and some foreign friends too, but walking into a restaurant, store, etc alone it feels like walking into a minefield. I dont dress outrageous, I am not very tall or rippling with fat, and I really dont stand out in general. Well, in the west I dont. I guess here I do stand out, silly of me to say, but why the glares dammit? The worst are old women. Little kids I can still laugh at and walk away, but the older women can cut through me with their eyes. Anyway, no matter. I am leaving in 55 days. Whew!
D
[quote=“travelgoddess”]Man oh man was I nice to everyone the first few months here. I tried smiling and saying hello when they stared. Tried hello in English and then Chinese, then just in Chinese. There are exceptions, but I get so many evil glares it is unreal. Maybe its Tainan, not really known for its sophistication or worldliness, but I am just hating it here. I have made some local friends, and some foreign friends too, but walking into a restaurant, store, etc alone it feels like walking into a minefield. I don’t dress outrageous, I am not very tall or rippling with fat, and I really dont stand out in general. Well, in the west I don’t. I guess here I do stand out, silly of me to say, but why the glares dammit? The worst are old women. Little kids I can still laugh at and walk away, but the older women can cut through me with their eyes. Anyway, no matter. I am leaving in 55 days. Whew!
D[/quote]
Interesting that you’ve decided that the stares are “evil glares.”
Much more likely that they’re just curious. Might even be that they think you’re beautiful and just want to examine what a pretty Western woman looks like.
I suppose it is a moot point, as you’re on your way. I just think you might want to reconsider whether it’s them, or it’s you. Might help you if you’re ever in another country where there isn’t a lot of racial diversity.
I understand your point Tomas, but you know when people are curiously looking at you and when there is negatively focused stares. I know you do! I hope you dont know what I am talking about, but if you’ve ever experienced it you know the difference. I have gone back and forth on this issue for some time, and have looked at it from so many different angles my neck hurts, lol. The fact is that it feels incredibly uncomfortable to be under that much intense scrutiny anywhere. Yup, does this make me a crappy traveler? Maybe. But I dont care about my rep, just my sanity and happiness. And both are dwindling by the moment.
D
Maybe it’s a Tainan thing, do you live in the city or in the countryside part of Tainan? How’s your Chinese? Have you made many local friends?
Depending on where and with whom you hang out, perhaps you’re just an oddity in the countryside. It’s hard to fathom why they’d be giving you the evil eye. If these are cranky senile old people, they probably give the evil eye to everyone that passes. I can believe a bitchy xiaojie might see you as a threat, if you walk into a bar or something, so she might give you the evil eye. But that’s more of an indirect compliment than anything else. If it’s a guy, he’s probably lusting after you and undressing you with his eyes. Also a compliment, albeit unwanted.
What would a little kid or teenager be thinking giving you the evil eye? If you think even the kids are giving you the evil eye, I’d say you’re reading too much into things. You’re probably just a rarity out there and people don’t realize that it’s impolite to give you hard stares. I think the more you interact with locals, the more you will find how friendly people can be, which will reduce your suspicions of what they’re thinking.
???
I give up. I am describing MY experience here, and although I appreciate your feedback I really dont appreciate everyone telling me that its all in my head. I have had local friends with me when this happens and they say things to me like, “wow, people are really staring at you.” blah blah blah.
I am not saying that they are giving me the evil eye and casting spells on me, just that I am getting looks and vibes like “your a stranger, get out.” I dont know why this is so hard to understand. A bit frustrated now! Doesnt anyone get this!!!
(throwing hands in air and screaming really loud. Wow, that feels better)
Well people have their own tailor-made “crazy eyes”…but…did you ever see that movie “The New Guy”? Well, in any case, the whole idea is that when people stare at you, you can beat them at their own game by staring right back with such viciousness in YOUR eyes that they in turn avert their eyes in embarassment. Thing is you have to learn to not care about the people on the other end. Don’t pity them at all because after all they are the ones looking through you in the 1st place.
You know how it’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul? Well, if you can dictate your emotions through your eyes, then you have a powerful tool. Most people won’t like looking at or being faced with the menacing eyes of someone they have scrutinized with their own pair.
But, that is my method for warding off the hardcore starers. It’s not for everyone.
Why not!
I will try it. I have tried staring back before and it usually feels really rude, but I need to do something other than get pissed off when its happening.
I can pretend I am a crazy woman living in a foreign country.
Or is that really pretending?
[quote=“travelgoddess”]I can pretend I am a crazy woman living in a foreign country.
Or is that really pretending?
lol.
Dont answer that question. growl!
D[/quote]
Oh I’m called “psycho” on a daily basis. It doesn’t phase me since I know I am in a lot of ways. :tic: But yea, people who stare at other people for longer than a few seconds really annoy me…be it here or anywhere else. :raspberry:
)
[/quote]I said “hello” to you when I passed you at the bus stop and you made a rude sign at me :shock:
But yea, people who stare at other people for longer than a few seconds really annoy me…be it here or anywhere else. :raspberry: