Joyedza (Zuo yue zi)

Anyone else experienced a joyedza? Since giving birth three weeks ago my wife has been in Chiayi being tended to by her mother and sisters in accordance with proper customs. She has not washed her hair in three weeks, bathes only in ginger water that her mother boiled, eats abundant quantities of medicinal soup and other foods, usually with lots of ginger and wine, and otherwise lays about the bedroom in pajamas day after day. Not only can she not leave the house, but she can’t go downstairs or even leave the room.

One of the very first days after all this started, grandma stated that one of the baby’s ears stuck out more than the other, so she went and got tape and started taping the ear down. After I expressed my opinion to my wife, she told her mother it wasn’t necessary and grandma promptly removed it.

Then last weekend, the baby was up all night long having trouble breathing through her nose. so the next day grandma took baby’s clothes to the temple and did something with them there. Heck, I figure it’s worth a try.

Anyone else been through joyedza?

Superstition. Brought to you by the same people that tell mothers not eat dark-coloured foods, or their babies will be born dark. Ewwwww! :unamused:

Hey, hey, hey! There are some good things about this mother and baby honeymoon! There really should be some studies done on the foods that chinese mothers are given, but I think the soups and chinese medicine might be very good for healing after childbirth. I know the fish soups that my mother in law made for me (and I continue to make once in a while now) helped me produce amazing amounts of milk. In the west, it’s hard not to do the cooking, laundry, housekeeping, etc. within days of giving birth, even having a csection. I remember going back to work just two weeks after my first child was born, and I even have a cousin who was in college and bragged that she only missed one class after the birth of her baby. Sure, we brag about that when we’re in our early twenties, but sooner or later, it catches up with us. Look at me, 32 and achy already.

In the old days, women did gather to help a new mother and care for her family so that she could regain her strength. This isn’t just a Chinese thing. Let the wife enjoy her little baby honeymoon. All too soon she’s going to be on her own (okay, maybe dad will help out too) dealing with colic, and gas, and sore nipples, etc.

Anyway, that’s my longwinded way of saying, “It ain’t all bad!”

MT,

This is your last chance to [color=red]
PARTY
[/color]. Live it up now because when that month is up, you’re doomed. :laughing:

Congrats again on being a dad.

O-Lan’s resilience is amazing, for she is back at work in the field
immediately after her delivery. She interrupts her labor only to
tend to the baby. She is truly “the salt of the earth.”

pinkmonkey.com/booknotes/mon … arth14.asp

You’re not kidding DB. I do feel like I should be out on the town, enjoying the last freedom I’ll have for the next couple of decades. But it’s actually very enjoyable just having the whole huge bed to myself, with no baby crying every couple of hours. Of course I will be happy when they return in a couple of weeks. :slight_smile:

When son #1 was born I got to spend a whole month reliving my university days. :laughing:

btw MT, congrats on the birth to both you and your wife :charliebrown: Lap it up mate and keep Grandma away from the gaffa tape.

I loved the zuo yeazi month and celebrated it in style. I seem to remember writing myself off at Tigerman’s joint at a beer tasting as well as numerous other festivities with the brother in law :homer:

My wife did all you spoke of and was given around 6 meals a day, mostly or actually all fish and Chinese medicine soups I recall. “if you don’t get proper recovery during the month, you’ll have trouble having babies in the future” l recall being told several times :boo-hoo:

Amos.

[quote=“braxtonhicks”]Hey, hey, hey! There are some good things about this mother and baby honeymoon! There really should be some studies done on the foods that Chinese mothers are given, but I think the soups and Chinese medicine might be very good for healing after childbirth. I know the fish soups that my mother in law made for me (and I continue to make once in a while now) helped me produce amazing amounts of milk. In the west, it’s hard not to do the cooking, laundry, housekeeping, etc. within days of giving birth, even having a csection. I remember going back to work just two weeks after my first child was born, and I even have a cousin who was in college and bragged that she only missed one class after the birth of her baby. Sure, we brag about that when we’re in our early twenties, but sooner or later, it catches up with us. Look at me, 32 and achy already.

In the old days, women did gather to help a new mother and care for her family so that she could regain her strength. This isn’t just a Chinese thing. Let the wife enjoy her little baby honeymoon. All too soon she’s going to be on her own (okay, maybe dad will help out too) dealing with colic, and gas, and sore nipples, etc.

Anyway, that’s my longwinded way of saying, “It ain’t all bad!”[/quote]
Oh, hey, don’t get me wrong - I’m all in favour of the new mom taking a break with the baby. And I also think it’s important to eat nutritious foods. I am skeptical however, when people say that a woman’s health is in danger if she bathes, washes her hair, leaves the room, eats spicy food, etc. What if the mother in question is Pakistani or Thai or mainland Chinese from Siquan Province.and spicy food is mother’s milk (pun intended) to her. Surely it makes no difference to the health of the baby or the mother if mom doesn’t have to go a month without washing her hair. Same thing goes for pajamas. Why can’t mom get dressed? Back home the proper thing was to take the baby to church within the first few Sundays to “show it off”. ANd why wait a month? Why not 27 days? Or 35? Surely each woman’s situation is unique? Of course, if there are complications from the birth, I can understand the advisory against bathing or leaving the bed - especially if there are open wounds that need healing. The thing is, lots of women have NO complications. Why should Chinese superstitions apply to them? Superstitions are a bunch of malarkey, good for people who scoff at science and want a cut-and-paste answer to complex questions.

If my wife ever gives birth to Maoman Jr., she will get the royal treatment. Rest, sleep, time away from the baby when she needs it, nutritious foods, etc. But if some fengshui master/chinese doctor/quack says I am supposed to kill a male cod in the pale moonlight, chant incantations and then serve it as soup, so as to ensure my wife’s good health, I’m going to laugh him out of the room. Science is science - in any country. Same goes for superstitious clap-trap.

And I’ll be selling tickets to anyone who wants to see Maoman’s wife and mother-in-law tearing him a shiny brand-new arsehole. :laughing:

But don’t worry Maoman, its very unlikely that you’ll be asked for your opinion – its a mother/daughter/woman thang.

And I’ll be selling tickets to anyone who wants to see Maoman’s wife and mother-in-law tearing him a shiny brand-new arsehole. :laughing:

[/quote]

haha. I look at it this way. kill pale cod, wipe them out if you want. drink disgusting meat and rice wine oil until you turn green, knock yourself out. tape down baby’s ear, time to make a stand

My wife just told me that she wants to give birth and zuo yuezi in Canada. Interesting. She probably just wants to get away from me - I’ll still be slaving away in Taipei…

And after one month, you get money!

Ha! I got nothing! Five days after my c-section, my son and I were home alone and I did all the cooking, feeding, changing, rocking, cleaning and whatever else. My husband did help out once he was home from work. He did laundry and changed a few diapers. He told me that he’d seen other women treated like crap by hostile family members who talked about how awful they looked and smelled after giving birth, took the baby and did as they wished with it and left mom to sip her fish soup.

Well, I surely have hostile in-laws who don’t like the fact that my husband is married to this foreign devil. I did the new mom thing like any western gal and was no worse for it. We actually enjoyed having the time we had and would have been totally stressed out with all the out-laws about.

Zuo Yue zi is important, look at my grandmother, who from 1934 to 1958 gave birth to 5 children.

Her eyesight is weak, her arthritis has started to have a significant impact on the letters she writes to me, she suffers from backpains, and she has to eat some medication. Now, in case she had done her month, she might not suffer from any of the ilnesses above.

In the good old days in China, the slimmest person in the family was the daughter in law. she did all the hard work, she ate last, and if there was a shortage of food, she would be the first one to go hungry. Moreover, she was worked as the average Taiwanese family on the hill work their SE Asian maid.

In other words, she would be completely exhausted, when it was time to try for another son. Therefore, inorder to ensure that she was able to feed her son, it would be custom to feed her well and make sure that she got lots of rest in the first month after giving birth. Add in that a well-fed daughter in law would be able to work like a beast catching up on all the stuff needing to be done after the maidservant had been in bed for one month, and you can see that Zuo Yue Zi was a good idea for a traditional Chinese.

However, nowadays, even Taiwanese doctors warn against giving alcohol such as rice wine to women who has recently given birth, readily available hot water means that bathing is not a hazardous activity any more, and your risk of getting emboli increases if you don’t move around, as the chemistry of your veins change during and after giving birth. In other words, many of the customs surrounding zuo yue zi are not just unnessecary, but can be dangerous as well.

My wife gave birth in Denmark at both occations. I did the Ma You Ji thing and made sure that the load on her was light. Moreover, she bathed. What really got my goat was when she moved a 120 kg marble table alone 3 days after giving birth!

When I gave birth here my Taiwanese husband insistde that I stick to tradition even though his family is not around (thank god). My mom was here howver so she helped with everything in the house while the baby and I got to know each other and get the hang of breastfeeding, bathing, changing etc. The reason behind not washing your hair is because Chinese beleive a woman is very weak after giving birth so if they get there heads wet are more susceptible to colds and in the future arthritis. The fish soup is for milk production and the drunken chicken is to help expel all the fochia (blood and gore) which I swear to god works!

Fortunately, my wife’s family don’t believe in that stuff, and didn’t require it of any of her four sisters when they gave birth. But one of the sisters went to stay in a place that is run specially to provide all the related traditional services for mother and baby during that first month. Apparently, such places are quite popular, and the one my sister-in-law stayed at charged more than NT$100,000 for the whole deal.

Well i should be far from zuo yue zi but i think it’s quite interesting . The old people can be REALLY insist about the “old way” to zuo yue zi. They always feed the mother greasy,rich chicken soup or some Chinese herbs medicine stuff like that and you’re not allowed to get out of the bed… :laughing: my’ve read it in the magazine that Zeta Jones only eat steam fish and very simple food and exercise like 3 hours a day after giving birth just to get back to the way she used to be. Maybe in western culture it’s okay but i can imagine my grandma trying to drag me back to my bed and feed me more if i do that. :laughing:

Well…she hadn’t been allowed to move furniture for lo’ 3 mesters. She was jonesing…and like any true kerplunk from yon wagon, she binged. Who could blame her? :laughing:

Women huh? :smiling_imp: :unamused: :lovestruck:

BTW, excellent post Mr. He. :notworthy:

have some guanxi…huh? :astonished:

Where’s my guanxi??? :bluemad:

:help: Help, someone, I bin robbed!!! :help: