[quote]The Conservative Threat Advisory System
Severe: Return to Middle Ages Likely
High: Church and State to Merge
Elevated: Bill of Rights at Risk
Guarded: Upward Income Redistribution Underway
Low: Justice and Reason Still Prevail[/quote]
It’s all color coded too.
perrspectives.com/features/ctl.htm
That’s what happens when conservatives go wild. There’s always two sides to every story though.
The Left-Wing Threat Advisory:
Severe: Cultural Revolution Imminent
High: 100% Tax Rate Goal Finally Achieved
Elevated: “White/Male” Officially Designated Psychological Dysfunction
Guarded: Ineffectual Ted Kennedy Vacates Taxachussets Senate Seat Feet First
Low: Bureaucratic Gridlock
Round-up of terms used (mostly) in left blogistan, i.e.
[quote]Going Galt- Withdrawing one’s unique brilliance from the economy in protest of tax rates which are actually abnormally low for the post-war era. Discussed and encouraged by bloggers such as Dr. Helen and Meghan McArdle, but never actually preformed, because even they can tell it would be a fucking moronic thing to do. Wholly ineffective and counterproductive, outside of poorly-written midcentury fantasy novels.
…
Serious Person- Also frequently appearing as “Very serious person,” this is applied to a person held in great esteem by The Village, who is repeatedly entirely wrong about everything, usually with tragicomic results. Conversely, those who have pretty much been right about everything the last twenty years are referred to as “not serious.” Serious persons believe the only solution to any foreign policy issue is bombing brown people (preferably Muslim, when at all possible), and the only solution to domestic affairs is cutting entitlements and demanding that the poor and working poor “sacrifice.” Noted examples of serious persons include Tom Friedman, Ken Pollock, the Kagans, Dick Cheney, and Frank Gaffney. Usually has an open lifetime invitation to appear on Hardball or to pen nonsense for the Washington Post editorial page.
Shrill- Telling the unpopular truth. The polar opposite of a pundit whose slavish devotion to mainstream approval leads him or her to frequently wrong conclusions (see ‘serious person’). Someone dubbed ‘shrill’ can be reliably accurate but nonetheless ignored for steeping outside the “acceptable” range of political opinion (see ‘Overton Window’). Particularly hated by Villagers, Beltway insiders, and ‘serious people’ because their example makes it impossible to claim that everyone believed a point that turned out to be wrong (e.g., WMDs in Iraq). Notable shrill people include Howard Dean, Al Gore, and Paul Krugman. The correct usage takes the form of “Paul Krugman is shrill.” It should be noted, however, that Michael Moore is not shrill, but rather, Michael Moore is fat.[/quote]
balloon-juice.com/?page_id=27077
Anyone know of a righty equivalent?
There’s talk now among some Americans of awarding Obama the Heisman Trophy! He obviously deserves it!
Tigerman, if you want some real hilarity and can stomach it head over to FreeRepublic (warning: many things on Free Republic will make you angry if you are not a Republican :raspberry: )
but threads on Obama are funny over there:
[quote]
Obama signs Declaration of Independence; puts his “Hancock” above John’s
BREAKING!!! Panel discovers that “Bridge To Nowhere” ACTUALLY leads to Obama!
OBAMA Wins National Spelling Bee
BREAKING: Obama is McDonalds 787 billion customer.
BREAKING: Obama Unearths Noah’s Ark…
Obama to Star in ‘Casablanca’ Remake[/quote]
And in other international news…
Breaking News: 2009/2010 NHL Season Terminated Early. Barack Obama is Awarded the Stanley Cup.
10/10/2009 | George “Gretzky” Soros
Washington - The National Hockey League (NHL), in an unprecidented move, has terminated the 2009/2010 regular season and has awarded the coveted Stanley Cup to President Barack Obama.
The Stanley Cup is usually awarded to the best team of hockey players who endure dozens of regular season hockey games from October thru April, and a payoff season that is nearly as long as the regular season.
It is highly unusual for the Stanley Cup to be awarded to an individual.
The NHL commisioner, Gary Bettman, was unavailable to comment on this unusual action. However, a trusted source within the commisioner’s office claimed that, after the Nobel committee awarded President Obama with a Nobel Peace prize, that the NHL was not going to be the last group to give the President an award, and wanted to act before Obama was awarded a Super Bowl ring.
When notified of the award, President Obama told the press that, “There are others that are more deserving of this award than me. Heck, I can’t even skate. Nevertheless, I’d like to accept the award in recognition for all the fine work Mr. Stanley Coup has done for the community.”
President Obama was referring to the Stanley Cup, the hockey trophy that was named after Frederick Stanley, the Conservative Governor General of Canada from 1888-1893, who was more interested in outdoors and sportsman activities than vote rigging.
He Shoots!
He Scores!
HuZZaH!
…more news on the incoming accolades…
October 9,2009
Toronto, Ontario (Canada)- In keeping with his overwhelming contribution to the Pittsburgh Penguins run to the Stanley Cup in June the Penguins petitioned the NHL to add President Barack Obama’s name to their legacy on North America’s oldest contested trophy in major professional sports; the Stanley Cup.
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman immediately agreed to the inclusion.
“It goes without saying that a man that can win the Nobel Peace Prize despite being in office a mere 12 days obviously had a greater impact on the Pittsburgh Penguins run to hockey immortality last spring than the sporting world can even comprehend.” stated Bettman from NHL offices in New York City.
Sidney Crosby added, “Many people think that it was Geno and I that have a major role in leading this team. They’ll point to Max’s (Talbot) two goals in game seven as a great contributor to our ultimate victory. However without Barack Hussein Obama there would be no Stanley Cup in Pittsburgh this year and we needed to acknowledge that. Hopefully this petition will rectify a small oversight on the team’s part.”
When notified of the petition Kris Draper of the Detroit Red Wings, last year’s league runner up, quipped, “Well I don’t recall Obama in the handshake line. Do you? Perhaps he wasn’t aware that Lidstrom was there waiting for him to shake his hand. Previously Nick has been the epitome of sportsmanship and it really speaks to the unprofessional nature and lack of sportsmanship of the guy to leave him there mid ice. What, does he think he’s President of something?”
There were unconfirmed rumors elsewhere in the city of Pittsburgh that Santonio Holmes was prepared to relinquish his MVP status from Super Bowl XLIII in favor of the overlooked Obama. As of deadline neither a representative of Holmes or the Steelers have returned phone calls for comment.
Major League Baseball teams have become aware of the overwhelming contributions of Barack Hussein Obama to each of their teams during the playoffs unfolding on the national stage. It is as yet unclear which team will benefit most from his presence or how the winning team will acknowledge his role in their championship caliber play. Major League Baseball apparently though is prepared to accept naming President Obama playoff MVP and allow the President to accept a phone call from himself in congratulations of winning both the World Series trophy and playoff MVP award.
White House press spokesman Robert Gibbs enthused, “People think the President just gives TV interviews and doesn’t really govern. Well this shows that our President participates in more things than we are even aware of as White House staffers. It’s a testament of the change he said he’d bring to the White House. He’s been given the Nobel Peace Prize and petitioned to be immortalized on the Stanley Cup on the same day. It’s even rumored that the NFL is prepared to reopen its awarding of Super Bowl MVP on the basis of his excellence in all aspects of life.”
More to follow…mmm mmm mmm…
and from Italy…
Uh, wha…??
equal opportunity satire…
“He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, you are a state sponsor of terror.”
–George W. Bush, on Saddam Hussein, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006
“This (9/11/01) investigation should carefully examine all the evidence and follow all the facts, wherever they lead… Dr. Kissinger will bring broad experience, clear thinking and careful judgment to this important task.”
–George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., November 27, 2002
“I was not pleased that Hamas has refused to announce its desire to destroy Israel.”
–George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 4, 2006
