Support: Divorce/Legal (Continuation)


#1

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all who chimed in to offer support. I know this might seem odd, but I reach out to friends often so I can remind myself of just how much of a mess this whole thing was. At this point, my work permits have been issued and I can go to NIA to get my ARC. The ex is being a real scumbag about the entire thing…and it’s really the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.

I read these forums and see people who have had it far worse than me…and try to keep my head up on the issue. I guess what I am sad about is that for five years I carried this woman. She was a millstone around my neck…I helped her launch a business during our marriage. The things she pulled are just outrageous for someone who claims to have “loved” me and she still is RUSHING me to sign papers.

For some dumb reason, I wanted to believe in something that was just not there. I was afraid of being alone in a foreign country where I felt like I had no friends. Early in our marriage, I realized that something wasn’t right because I never got to see my wife. So, with nothing else to do I played video games and hung out (as any normal dude might). Unfortunately, it seemed everything about me was just unacceptable to her…she nagged…she picked…she started EVERY fight we were ever in. I performed poorly in these fights and do feel terribly about my part.

I just wanted to say thank you…I am really sad that this is happening to me, but at the same time am happy that I do not have someone bossing me around all the time…taking and never giving. I look at all of the things I have to offer a mate…and see that I am a good man with a very big heart. I am just terrified of being alone…and dislike very much sleeping alone after all these years.

It sucks but for some stupid reason, I still feel something for her…even though I know it is wrong and even though she has given me nothing but venom and hatred. It is ALL my fault…I am the one to blame…I am the one who “fucked it up”. When does this go away…I am so very tired of feeling sad.


#2

Eh, at least you have your health. And to be honest, that’s all that really matters (my wife and I thought we might lose our baby earlier this year, who thank god has made a full recovery… but I bring that up only for perspective). Everything else, including finances, can be rebuilt. And it’s an opportunity to find someone who will treat you better and be better for you. You’re lonely now, but at least you’re away from her. Enjoy single life. Hit the bars. Meet someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t take things too seriously and don’t dwell too much. It’s a sucky situation, but no one died and you’re not in jail. So it’s not the end of the world.


#3

Thanks Drew…it just sucks all around. I have made many TAIWANESE friends recently and they all have given me some perspective. She wants this to be a PUNISHMENT for having fucked everything up. Truth is…I did the best I could with what I had. I gave her everything and no matter what it was never good enough for her.

I have serious misgivings about ever taking a woman back who said:

a) she was better than me;
b) that I ruined my life;
c) that I would have to make a lot more money for her to be happy

No thank you. No. Saying all of this to your husband is guaranteed to piss him off. I have the strange misfortune of meeting women who believe they can nag the shit out of their husband or boyfriend and expect him to just do whatever the fuck she says. No. This is not how shit works. Yes…she nagged me. I got pissed. I yelled. The end.

But…It’s all my fault for being the one with the “anger problem”. Where do they grow retarded bitches like this? If she were my roommate (male) and were saying shit to this me, I’d have decked her. Then there would have been an apology…and beers after.

Not her…she blames me for all of this…because she’s perfect and her shit doesn’t stink. Must be nice.