5 years separated

(It seems every year I post a message, without getting further)

I am now 5 years separated. My wife sometimes agrees, than not to divorce.

In June 2004 we had the last attempt to sign the divorce paper. All seemed ok. I had found a wittness and she would bring her friend. She only (!!!) requested that I pay the lunch. I agreed.

It should be on Thursday to sign! On Tuesday she calls and asked how is our son. I wondered about that question and said he is fine. He was sick on Monday she said. I said no, …

I went out to office on Monday early, and my son felt asleep again, … .and he decided to be “sick”.

This my wife used than that I cannot take care of him and that signing of the divorce is not anymore, …

Now she changed from Buddhism to Christian and said, there is no divorce, …

My son told me that she is going to Bangladesh to teach there English. I was very suspicious about that. She said she will go to Bangladesh for 6 months. She should get there a salary of 100,000 NT$ per month.
(More suspicious!!!)

During the last school year a friend of her came to school to visit my son. My son never saw her before. She gave him some cookies and told him that his mother will stay in Bangladesh longer, …

During Chinese New Year she did not contact him, neither by email, phone or visit. I am 15 years in Taiwan, I never saw that a Chinese would miss to contact relatives during Chinese New Year.

In March I went to police and said to the police that I don’t know where she is, that my son miss her and that she might be abroad.

The police officer checked the computer and said that she NEVER left Taiwan. He suggested me to file a missing person. I did.

I have no way to contact her, I not even know where she is. She does not want to sign the divorce paper anyway. She is still registered (with me) in Linkou, our house we bought, but she sold it in the meantime.

I heard that she need to contact me now within 6 months. That would be September.

I am considering to leave Taiwan. Would that be a solution towards a later divorce without her consent?

I know that I may not have a girl friend, since I am still married. Could I have a girl friend if I leave Taiwan?

You can have a girlfriend, plenty of married people do.

Is your child a citizen of the ROC or a foreign national?

If you have your child and passports my advice is to get on a plane and leave.

Sort he divorce out later on either in Taiwan or in your home country. Just get your child out now. And don’t tell anybody first.

I would like to leave, … and I even got a job offer in Hong Kong.

I was at the police today and asked if my wife was found in the meantime. He said no, but he added I would just get a call saying that she is alive, but not where she is, since she is over 20 years old. He also confirmed that this is also true if she enters or leaves Taiwan.

The missing report is now 5 months old. Is there any chance to use it for the divorce? Am I more lucky if she can be found or if she cannot? I am asking for the time limits, of 6 months I do not know about her whereabout or the 3 years if she is still alive or dead?

If I am leaving Taiwan, would this have an influence?

I am not citizen of Hong Kong. Can I get divorced in Hong Kong? (or other places?)

Since I am still married, I do not have solo-guardianship for my son. Can I get this one - maybe because she is missing? If, how and where? (how much?) Without I might get troubles being with my son in Hong Kong, …


Since I am still married, I do not have solo-guardianship for my son. Can I get this one - maybe because she is missing? If, how and where? (how much?) Without I might get troubles being with my son in Hong Kong, …[/quote]

First of all, did you ever sign a separation agreement with 4 whitnesses? If you later get into trouble, as you got yourself a gf, then it would be your ticket out any legal issues. also, if you are legally married, you are married, end of story.

What that means to your son is that you can take him out of the country, if you need to. If you can’t get hold of your wife, then well… she did not say no. Before I got separated, I would take my children in and out of the country as I pleased. Now I am supposed to ask her, but we are at least able to communicate, so it’s not a problem as such.

Secondly, leaving the spouse is a legal ground for court mandated divorce in Taiwan. However, you need to go down to the police and register that she has left your common dwelling. (惡性離妻) Then if she does not return, you can in principle file for divorce. If she fails to show her face in court, one would imagine that the guardianship issue would be easily solved in your favor. After all, the judge will never get to hear her story.

The police is perhaps not so cooperative, however get a local lawyer to go with you. My experience with them is in general good, the police will tend to listed more to an experieiced Taiwanese lawyer than to you.

Also, it’s very important you keep records of everything. Your case would be much stronger if you could show the judge records of everything - that she left, did not care about her son and the like. As mentioned elsewhere, sole custody is not automatically awarded to the father, local courts tend to go towards jount custody or sole custody to the mother, however if you can show that your wife walked out on you and your son and did not maintain any form of contact, your case should be quite winnable.

You can also get a divorce in your own country - might be easier, hard to say.

This is a follow up. We are now in the 6th year of this case.

I followed your suggesttion and filed a missing person at the police. My son had not seen his mother for a while and I also was wondring that a CHINESE could forget Chinese New Year. No phone call to his mobile phone, not letter, no visit.

The police could not find her. They also checked the computer and confirmed, that she never left Taiwan.

I filed after the 6 months for the stupid “Honey come home” in the court. The judge asked me what has changed, why I want her back now. I told him than frankly that I just want to divorce, but I was told that this is the only way.
He changed it to divorce.

We had two court days after and my wife did not come to the court. All letters came back. The court asked me therefore to place an advertisement in the news paper.

On February 19th the judge divorced us, but there is still a 10 days waiting time till the document is written and hereafter a 20 days waiting time that my wife still could reject it.

Nothing happened anymore. - for a long time!

On March 23 I went to the court, since the 10+20 days would be over now and learnt that she did not reject it. Glad to hear, but …

on 27th March she rejected it via a lawyer. 1. she does not want to pay the court fee (4,500 NT$), and 2. she will tell later what she rejects.
This letter (a form) was signed on NOVEMBER 30, 2005. Months before the divorce was decided by the court.

It is now in the high court!!!
The dates are silently ignored from the court! No answer if not already by not rejecting in time the judgment is already valid.

In the high court my lawyer asked me not to come to the court.
I got than the info, that my wife agrees with the divorce.

The next court day she shows up, but my lawyer still said I should not waste time to go there.

Here my wife asked for my son. BTW she applied from the government for a free lawyer. The judge said the parties should try to negotiate without the court. Why in all the world would we go to the court if we could make the agreement alone? Even if we would, than I expect that the judge just sign it - and not send the parties home.

I am wondering what is next now.

I am not sure if it is related at all, but since a few days (co-incidently with the date of the last court day) I get tens of phone calls, where somebody just hang up when I pick up, regardless if I answer in English or Chinese. It is coming always from a private number, …

That’s unfuckingbelievable! :fume: :fume:

Get a new phone number.

What a woman! :raspberry: :raspberry: :raspberry:

got divorced now!

7 years sufferings are over!!!

Qwerty -
Much Congratulations!

Best to You & Your Son!!

Well done, qwerty.

[quote=“qwerty”]got divorced now!

7 years sufferings are over!!![/quote]

Wow, I just read through this thread. I hope I never have to go through anything you described.

Good luck. Keep your head up! :bravo: :slight_smile:

[quote=“qwerty”]got divorced now!

7 years sufferings are over!!![/quote]

Great! Now you can go on with your life.

How did the divorce finally go through?

Congratulations qwerty! Hope you’re enjoying your freedom. :beer:

And be sure to check out any future prospects very, very carefully, before considering getting married again. :wink: