[quote=“Ermintrude”]The porn is not the spanking, it’s the money. He’s a rich independent man who wants to take away her agency (symbolising the need to do a bunch of shit for money) in return for everything she’d ever desired - money, freedom from having to work, never being dumped (because nobody else would ‘fit’ his unique kinks).
Imagine the scene: Jim, who works delivering pies in Rochdale, picked me up in his van after I finished my shift at the chippie. He took me round his mam’s and after she went to bed he tied me up with the dog’s lead and spanked me roughly with a copy of the Express while Jeremy Paxman played softly in the background. Had to hang on a while in the middle because Jim had to let the dog out because she was whining and trying to jump on the sofa-bed. I got goosebumps on my arse while the daft mutt wandered around sniffing the flowerpots for five minutes. After it was over, I went home because we were both working in the morning. I got the nightbus because I had a weekly ticket and Jim needed to save his petrol for work. My buttocks ached from the recent spanking and they got an extra pounding from thin upholstery on the 267. As I looked back on the evening, I smiled as I remembered I had a half-eaten chip muffin in my pocket. My lips throbbed in anticipation.
Not quite as sexy.[/quote]
I’m not sure. Make the dude a Polish bodybuilder in his late 40’s and the girl a Somali teenager with daddy issues and it might be watchable!
Well, they say there’s porn for everything. The point of BSDM porn is consent and equal status. In ‘50 shades of grey’, sure, he’s richer, but she’s still a college educated white woman who would have been fine without him. A white, adult European male with the right to live and work in the EU roughhousing an asylum-seeking child is not really BSDM, it’s just violent sex/survival sex. Her being 17-19 changes the legality but not the issue of status. Maybe that’s the angle for the story: everyone assumes the man is a violent rapist but he’s actually the sub? Seems a bit contrived. The tension is all wrong for BSDM.
As an aside, my cousin / hero is a child protection social worker. Many Somalian kids appear in the UK alone and claim asylum. They say they are children because the government has to house them as children. Most have no papers. A lot of the ones in group homes are up to 30 years old. It’s horrible, and huge amounts of sexual abuse happens, within these homes. The teenaged girls, for obvious reasons are particularly vulnerable.
I guess we’re reaching the stage where not all Somalian 17-19 year olds in the UK would be traumatised by tribal violence though.
That’s the problem with parody right there. I just came up with that title, thought it was witty and original and then you said you’d already heard it. So I did a Google search and there is already a stream of parody material with the title ‘fifty shades of Gary.’ There is a published book with that title even. And there is Fifty Shades of Gay. So my originality is not original at all.
Parody material is poor. I can cope with some homage stuff (return to the forbidden planet is ok) but parody almost always sucks. Satire isn’t so bad. Stewart Lee does a good bit on satire where he concludes it is parody using animals.
I saw a trailer for a new comedy show about a guy who is spotted and becomes a hand model and he has to keep his hands from getting damaged. That’s the plot of a Seinfeld episode. This week I heard Uptown Funk which everyone is raving about. It’s Jam by Michael Jackson meets Jungle Love by Morris Day. Have I seen it all at the tender age of 41?
[quote=“Ermintrude”]Well, they say there’s porn for everything. The point of BSDM porn is consent and equal status.
[/quote]
The things some people get off on. But seriously…
[quote] In ‘50 shades of grey’, sure, he’s richer, but she’s still a college educated white woman who would have been fine without him… Maybe that’s the angle for the story: everyone assumes the man is a violent rapist but he’s actually the sub? Seems a bit contrived. The tension is all wrong for BSDM.
[/quote]
If the book hadn’t sold like hotcakes, there wouldn’t be this movie, and we wouldn’t have this discussion. Obviously, this is a fantasy of a great many people out there. But who? And why? I once saw an article where a feminist defended her BDSM submissive lifestyle on the grounds that it was just a fantasy, oblivious to how this explanation just raised further questions.
Say, just what is Beauty and the Beast all about, anyway? Love and redemption? Seems more specific than that.
I once knew a woman who went from one ill-advised relationship to another her entire life. In a particularly tactless moment of mine, I asked her what the hell her problem was. She told me she needed to feel needed. No, she never redeemed any of them with her love, in case you’re wondering.
I feel a Barbra Streisand parody coming on. People who need to be beat up by people… are the sorriest people in the world.
If she lived it, it was more than just a fantasy. Just curious, was she in a same sex relationship? Because if she was a feminist in a submissive relationship to a man then that would be a bit odd, know what I mean?
All BDSM is at it’s heart a bit sick. I don’t believe this “equality and respect” stuff. Maybe that is the best modern way to clean it up and make it maximally consistent with modern ethics and social norms, and good for that. But wishing to be humiliated or to humiliate is fundamentally at odds with the notion of equality and respect.
Take the movie Quills for example, with Geoffery Rush, Kate Winslett et al. The Marquis de Sade is imprisoned and a cleaner is helping him smuggle out his smutty scribbings. There is a sense of equality, as they are both white, and while the Marquis comes from aristocracy and the cleaner is a peasant, she is a free women and he a prisoner. There is mutual respect and affection between the two. Yeah! How nice! But in reality, de Sade was imprisoned for drugging and sodomizing prostitutes, and wrote about sexaul kidnapping, rape, torture and murder.
Anyway, if people are into that stuff they should be honest that they are being a bit sick, IMO.
50 shades of Grey should be serving as an eye opener for men more than anything else. This is a far far bigger industry than I think most men realize. I’m not saying woman want to be objectified like that horrible movie that was oh so painful to sit through, but there are some subtle underlying lessons to be learned about woman and their hidden fantasies. There’s definitely a middle ground to be found between that trash movie, and the missionary position
I came across a few Christian sites arguing “this shows women have a need to be dominated by men, just like the Bible says.”
One of the studies often cited was this one by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, which shows that, at least in Quebec, 64% of women fantasize about being dominated sexually; 52% of being tied up; 36% of being spanked or whipped; 29% of being forced to have sex. businessinsider.com/which-se … al-2014-10
What none of them mention are the same figures for men: dominated 53%; tied up 46%; spanked/whipped 28%; forced 31%
Given that men face social pressure to be, or claim to be, dominant sexually, this tends to undermine this as an insight into the deep-down submissive nature of women.
[quote=“MikeN”]
What none of them mention are the same figures for men: dominated 53%; tied up 46%; spanked/whipped 28%; forced 31%
Given that men face social pressure to be, or claim to be, dominant sexually, this tends to undermine this as an insight into the deep-down submissive nature of women.[/quote]
The desire to be dominated is unhealthy, regardless of gender. It leads to big government.
Progressive ideology is all about having someone to take care of all your needs so you don’t have to be a fully functional adult. Someone who doesn’t really respect you, but will gladly rid you of the freedom and personal responsibility that you just can’t handle. Someone who will lie to you and take your money and abuse you, and you’ll love him… not despite all this, but because of it.
People who defend unaccountable government power remind me of women in abusive relationships… even those of the male gender. They also have a tendency to lecture about how right and wrong are just shades of gray. And how the voter is really in control.
I’d gladly leave them to their kinky stuff if they’d only leave me the hell out of it for a change. The real problem with the progressives is they want to tell EVERYONE what to do. It’s not necessarily consensual. If 51% percent of the voters agree, the other 49% get raped. So to speak.
And now the FCC is fixing to put a ball gag on the Internet. There will be no safe word.
Submissives make me nauseous, but it’s the doms that make me nervous.
Isn’t BDSM a result of big government? I watched a documentary recently about the death of love hotels in Japan. They had some submissive guys and a dom called Rika. Two things struck me. First, there was no actual intercourse. Second, the guys said they wanted to be tied and whipped because this was their choice to be humiliated. They felt life was humiliating in a way they couldn’t control so this was their way of taking control of their humiliation. They were allowing themselves to explore and control how they felt about how restrictive and awful life felt to them. There was also some discourse about gaining control by having this terrible (what society perceives as legal but terrible) secret. They felt good about having this secret. It was something they could own for themselves. This all seemed to be tied in to big government making us nameless slaves.
This may be particular to the Japanese, but somehow I doubt it.
Same reasons people listen to sad songs. It’s not complex, really.
What’s the FCC?
People who have equal power, one can submit. If they don’t have equal power, there’s no submission happening, it’s just people beating and raping eachother. One scenario is sexy to some consenting adults, the other other is illegal and socially and morally unacceptable in many parts of the world.
[quote=“Ermintrude”]Same reasons people listen to sad songs. It’s not complex, really.
What’s the FCC?
People who have equal power, one can submit. If they don’t have equal power, there’s no submission happening, it’s just people beating and raping eachother. One scenario is sexy to some consenting adults, the other other is illegal and socially and morally unacceptable in many parts of the world.[/quote]
How do you mean, people listen to sad songs for the same reasons? Could you elaborate a bit more as I don’t see what you mean.
The FCC is the Federal Communications Committee. They control what goes out on radio and TV. There is an Eminem lyric, “The fcc ain’t shit to me,” but somehow I doubt you are too familiar with the oeuvre of Mr Mathers.
To explore emotions in a safe environment with few real-life consequences. It’s a kind of rehearsal for disaster. Or katharsis, after the event, you could argue. BSDM many not be your cup of tea but then some people don’t watch horror films or films with depictions of Nazi concentration camps. So many American films have dead children in them, or the lone wolf slasher who cuts up and tortures young women. The market for those films is completely mainstream. Or even ‘art’ for stuff like ‘The Boy With the Striped Pyjamas’, etc. We like to spend 90 minutes watching an ultimate figure of evil (theNazis) in our cultures brutalise us by murdering our children. Then off we pop for a burger or a drink. European culture and the rest of the west is one giant ‘safe word’.
I used to love Eminem. I listened to ‘Encore’ 24-7 when it came out. I never actually wanted to murder my ex. But listening to ‘You’re a fucking cokehead slut I hope you fucking die when you get to hell I hope Satan sticks a needle in your eye I hate your fucking guts you fucking slut I hope you die DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE.’ got me through some sad times.
So the FCC is an American government office? File that under ‘Who gives a shit?’
