I believe he’s in his 50s.
I agree he needs to go to a hospital. That alcoholism isn’t doing him any good. There were a few times when he drank enough to pass out and had to go to the ER. I think his girlfriend is just tired of this. Guy is just buying those Suntory 9% cans (they taste like orange juice), on top of already drinking those whiskey, and he was able to drink an entire bottle of this in addition to what he was already drinking:
I don’t know how a person do it.
I don’t think speculations like that will help him. If you really want to help, educate yourself about dealing with alcoholism properly and seek professional advice.
Sure, if he wants help I’d go with him to a hospital but I think he needs a residential treatment program. I just don’t think going back to the states will help him because the treatments will be far more expensive there. Key is he’s gotta want help, there’s little indication he does. I’m honestly agreeing with his girlfriend on a lot of things…
It sucks to see a man like this.
If I had a friend who was suffering in this way I would ask AA for advice. You can google them, they are active in Taiwan. They are likely to be able to give the best advice.
Other than that, there are two things that occur to me: one is that most alcoholics wake up periodically with the idea of ‘never again’ which then over a period of time converts back into ‘just one more’. If you catch him when he is at the ‘never again’ moment with the right support it may be possible for him to sustain the will to recover.
The second thing that occurs to me is that if he is drinking 750 ml bottles of whiskey in one sitting + some (as per the photo) talking about suicide and winding up in the ER, then it might be an option for someone to go to the hospital and tell the doctors and/or social workers about what is going on next time he is in.
Thing is, these are just drinks I seen him drink, I don’t know what he didn’t drink. His girlfriend likely sees more and I can see why she got tired of it, especially when he’s shown no willingness to turn the ship around.
I’ll accompany him to a hospital if he chooses to do so, but I gotta catch him at his “never again” time which is hard for me to figure out. I try to message him in the afternoon when he’s up from his constant hangovers. But I think he needs residential treatment programs, outpatient treatment likely won’t work in his case.
That was why I was suggesting telling the doctors next time he winds up in the ER again. Especially with the talk about suicide it is possible that they would transfer him to a ward - probably psychiatric - and that could be a stepping stone to getting on a better path. I know of a person who wound up in ER like that, got transferred to the psychiatric ward for two weeks, and then got released with follow up. They are doing much better now.
Main point I would say though is to get your advice from AA.
I guess if he ever winds up in the ER if he’s around me… I think he probably holds back around me though. Perhaps this is something his girlfriend did, or it happens so many times that she got tired of it. They’ve been together for like 21 years, or so he says.
I guess I’ve done all that I can.
When I was in Austin I had another friend like this, just drinks a bunch. Drank enough that he missed the field trip (they are mandatory) and so flunked out.
If you are in this situation then probably the only thing you can do is to help put him in contact with people who can help.
He says as if China hasn’t made atheism state policy.
Make sure he gets on the plane, if he misses that when is he ever going to get the money together to go back in the future - answer: never because any money he does have will go onto buying bottles.
If he is as bad as you say sadly there is little you can do for him.
Yea, his girlfriend made the decision for him, booked him a flight back to the states.
Considering the last minute nature of the booking, which tends to be expensive, she wanted him gone.
Best you can do is find the information for AA wherever he is going to be. Make sure he has it. And whatever other contacts he might need. If you make sure he has this info, then perhaps when he wakes up from his delirium after a hangover, he might actually do something about it. I’m afraid that that’s pretty much all you can do. He’s an adult, he has his own volition and autonomy to do whatever he wants.
I’m sorry that you are experiencing this but … relatives and friends of alcoholics often unwittingly get tied up in this… often people who stay abroad too long may lose their social support in the old country (friends & family connections) and fail (for whatever reason) to find new ones so his going back to the US may actually help to rein in his self-destructive drinking.
If you are experiencing, as I think you may be, trouble and personal grief due to his drinking, you may wish to find additional support yourself so that you can talk through what is happening. Alcoholism affects everyone round the addict, but it’s not always widely recognized that family & friends also need support.
My grief is that he’s one of few friend who isn’t “too busy” for me, at least whenever he’s sober or not stoned. That it seems most people of sound mind wants nothing to do with me except drunkards.
But I can’t do anything for him in the states, his family will have to do that.
Get him on that plane
Have you been in touch with them…? It seems you might have something useful to tell them so that they will know what’s been happening in his life recently. Take it easy on yourself. A little TLC might be needed.
I don’t have any contact with his family. He talks about his mom and I think that’s it. Perhaps his girlfriends doing that.
I think you’ll find, if you haven’t already, that repeatedly whingeing about this stuff is counterproductive. For most people, complaining that they don’t give you enough attention will just make them want to give you even less attention, except if they’re doing it out of pity, which isn’t pleasant for them either.
Neediness just isn’t very attractive, especially when it comes from a 40-year-old man. IMO, it would be better to focus on making yourself more interesting to be around than trying to force others to want to, as discussed in many other threads.
I know you won’t listen to that, but still.
