Question for those of you with experience or inside knowledge
I’ve fallen pretty hard for a local girl. We’ve been friends for a while but seldom see each other since we live in different cities. Well I’ve always kinda liked her but now I’ve decided I really do want to take this further.
Anyway, I’m by no means a casanova. I’m capable of talking to and making friends with girls but that’s the furthest I’ve ever gotten. In terms of appearance I’m average at best.
In the end I know there’s only so much I can do to influence fate, but I want to give myself the best chance possible.
So I’ve been wondering what the best way to a girls heart is, here in Taiwan. What it looks like to be romantic, or even just the best way to ask her out. I know there are universal rules that would apply anywhere, and that this is rather broad, and can differ from person to person. Naturally there’s also concerns about not wanting to ruin the friendship. I’m all ears for what you guys have to say.
have you been on any dates yet or are you strictly friends at this point?
We’ve spent time together but as friends so no, no dates yet.
then ask her to dinner, good place to start!
Where is she from in Taiwan? Is her family a typical Taiwan family whose parents both work and the kids run around from school to bushiban? Or is she a typical Taiwan family whose parents are separated and the kids are left finding things to do or whatever they want? Is she from a small town somewhere in Taiwan?
Every girl is different so tell us as much as you can about her, not so much about you .
Fair enough. OK, well she’s closer to the former. She’s from one of the larger cities. Both of her parents work, and I figure they must be relatively well off, since she went overseas for her undergrad. She has a good relationship with her family.
She seems fairly typical for a Taiwanese girl in her early 20s. She likes sports, movies, TV shows, music, traveling, taking photos and seems to work hard. She’s not shy but I wouldn’t describe her as outgoing either. She is quite cheery and friendly.
Is there anything else I should mention?
Certainly! The problem is though we’re separated by distance. I’d much rather ask her out in person, which I guess means waiting until the next time I see her.
travel there for the weekend? just go for it, why not…
If you live in different cities then you need to come up with a reason to visit her. Find some cultural attraction, exhibit, park, cafe, etc that you want to check out and ask if she’s free to join you. This is more casual than a sit-down dinner date for two which might be a little too forward if you’ve only hung out in a group setting before.
Choose a place that’s not too far from where she lives because everyone likes a convenient meetup. Something fun like riding bikes, or walking by the a wharf, or anything active will promote more “interesting” conversations. Fun and light is a lot less pressure than sitting down for a meal together.
Casually suggest two different times to meet up in case she’s busy:
You: “I was planning on checking out _______ next Saturday and wanted to know if you had time to join?”
Her: “Sounds fun, what time?”
You: “I was thinking in the afternoon after lunch around around 2pm or after dinner around 8.” (Depends on the activity of course, but you get the idea. This shows that you’re flexible/accommodating but also not just waiting around to try to meet with her.)
Yeah, that’s a good way to look at it. It’s a cliche but your best bet is indeed taking it easy and just being yourself. Hanging out in a casual environment where the two of you get to know each other a little better is also the easiest way for you to sense if there might be any interest from her side.
[quote=“Uncreativeusername”]
So I’ve been wondering what the best way to a girls heart is, here in Taiwan. What it looks like to be romantic, or even just the best way to ask her out. I know there are universal rules that would apply anywhere, and that this is rather broad, and can differ from person to person. Naturally there’s also concerns about not wanting to ruin the friendship. I’m all ears for what you guys have to say.[/quote]
Can’t go wrong with the universal rules of being respectful, polite, and funny. Since Taiwan is still fairly traditional then I’d stay away from any overly-forward behavior. No touching on the first date, even if she touches you in a friend sorta way.
Ok thanks for the tips. I’ve got what I think is a good idea of what to do now in terms of a date, I just need an excuse to see her; I visited her recently so I can’t really head up there again so soon since it’s not really the kind of place you’d go without a reason. Well that’s if I ask her in person; I mean I could do it via a message but I’d much rather do it face to face.
[quote]Can’t go wrong with the universal rules of being respectful, polite, and funny. Since Taiwan is still fairly traditional then I’d stay away from any overly-forward behavior. No touching on the first date, even if she touches you in a friend sorta way.[/quote] No doubt. I’m fairly traditional myself so that’s not a problem. Confidence is what I need more of 
Give her anything hello kitty.
If you’re already friends with her, keep asking her out. Talk about things you normally wouldn’t be able to talk to her about if you were trying to date her. She might get close to you and then develop feelings in a different way. Most people get that instant spark and the romance etc slowly dies out. But this way you start from a friendship status. She might see you differently than all the other guys.
Just keep hanging out with her. Throw out little compliments. It’ll plant some seeds in her heart…
I think your confidence will increase after you’ve met her in person. You may be nervous when you first meet, but if you’ve been talking to her often, then I do not think it should be that big of a problem. Just talk about mutual hobbies or interests and you’re bound to forget that it’s your first time meeting each other in person.
Good luck!
Hi, sorry for digging up this post, but how did you fare? I’m also in a similar situation. Fell in love with an old friend (I’ve known her for a year already). However, she moved to another city.
After the last time we hung out, I texted her that I miss her in Chinese (我想妳). She was surprised but then she asked me when can we meet again. After a couple of weeks of almost daily messaging, we might have the chance to may again at the end of this month and next month.
However, it’s not clear in our messages if we’re already above being friends or she’s just being polite. She’s also not the kind of person who texts frequently (same as me); she admitted to me that anxieties make it difficult for me to send messages.
We also have an excuse to meet because we have the same hobby (music). It’s also how we became close. However, she’s conservative and shy af and she’s even shier to fellow Taiwanese than to us foreigners. But I think I’m already in the circle of her close friends given the frequency of our meetups before and depth of conversations. We also used to hang out just by the two of us; however, she had a boyfriend that time so I wasn’t romantically attached back then.
Despite her texting anxiety and shyness, I really like her. She’s humble, reliable, thoughtful, mature, doesn’t gossip nor talk behind other’s backs. Best of all, we can go on talking and laughing whenever we’re together. But I’m not sure if I should be the one pushing more since I’m less introverted. Our first chat was initiated by me, but she also eventually contributed to the conversation.
I’ll try to do so. I think the trick of moving from friendship to potential lover status is to do sweet things slowly.
My relationship with my last ex (from my home country) almost began this way, except that I didn’t do any upgrading to what I had been already doing to her as a friend until she kissed me.
I was hoping this thread was resurrected because he was getting married or something!
I don’t think so. They “get bored of waiting” and then tell all of their friends you’re wasting their time.
It’s true. I dont think “taking things slow” works anymore. We live in a time where people want to fall in love in the first meeting. They immediately evaluate weather u r worth it or not. So if a girl is not sure about you in the beginning, she will never be sure about you later so rather not waste time.
“She eventually contributed to the conversation”.
Sounds like you 2 love birds really hit it off!!!
keep sending us more deets!!!
Yeah what you said kinda reflects what my two other female friends said. They eventually clicked with their ex-boyfriends during their first few initial encounters.
Fortunately, the girl I like changed her mind. So we’ve been happily dating since a few months ago. 
MB I was too excited 