Acceptance i Taipei

Life LGBTQ+ Forum
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Hi, I’m a 19 years old boy, from Italy. This year I finish my ‘‘high school’’. LGBT situation in Italy is very bad. I would share with you my experience. In my country and region is one of the most industrializated of Italy. Everyone say Italy is beautiful, but I think that everyone visit or live Italy want escape from this country. There are NO gays people here. Only in Milan there is a gay life, and only for old man, there aren’ t young gay people… In my ‘‘zone’’ there is ‘‘tolerance’’ but not acceptance, a lot of fascist, all the people smile at you but you don’t know what they really think. I have meet 2 or 3 gays and lgbt people face some discrimination. But the problem isn’t the social discrimination. I visit the Netherlands and this country is a beautiful place, but I think that NL isn’ t the country for me to live. I am a very curios man and i heard the name of taipei like one of the most tolerant place in asia. I never thought that there are a lot of gay people there !! But the acceptance for a young man?
I have no friend, no gay and absolutely no straight friend. I think this situation is all over the Europe. Not only me, all gay people that I met have no friends, no social life and are always lonely. people in Italy smile at you but italian are the ugliest people in the world… I have experienced this. A lot of fascists and nazists. :fume: :fume: An archaic society, particurally against women and foreigners. they seems russians.
The problem is that if I act like a straight, meaning that I am arrogant, rude, stupid, play football and I am a rapper and I fuck all the girls in the wolrd society accept me, ( and I am like a maroccan). If i like guys society not accept me. Not only I can’t be open with my sexuality, but ANYONE man accept that I am not gay, but HOMOSEXUAL, and this affect my character and the relationship between me and other boys. !! :thumbsdown:
I would make to you some questions, and I am very happy if you will answer me.

  1. Taiwan is really a open-mind city? (differences betwenn old and young people?)
  2. how young people( means boys that are lower of 30 years old) view the homosexuality?
  3. Can I live a ‘‘normal’’ life?
  4. Can I walk on the street holding a boys man without people that insult me ?
  5. Can I go to the bar, cinemas, restaurants ecc with my boyfriend?
  6. How is social life? (I think social life of taiwanese people is very active)
  7. Cain I have STRAIGHT friend, or make new frineds or relationship and be open with my sexuality? Or people isolated me?
  8. How taiwanese ‘‘see’’ the foreigners?
  9. the most important: how taiwanese boy react to '‘feminine man ( it’ s not my case) or ‘‘sweet’’ ‘‘interested’’ man? ( I mean that taiwanese boys seems cute and sweet between them)
    Thank you for the time you spending read my message, I hope you will answer me.
    Sincerity

Sorry for the english, i read a lot of newspapers and books, but i think that I need more time to know the language. :slight_smile:

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Maybe you didn’t meet the good persons, because I’m gay and french (with France being a very conservative country :-/ ) but I still have many friends, both gay and straight. And my other gay friends have friends too, so they are not alone.

First thing: if you want to have friends, you have to stop thinking that you are just gay. You are a guy, and being gay is just a part of yourself. And if some people are not fine with this, then leave them and meet other people, but don’t expect every one to like you (as you probably won’t like anyone you meet).

As for Taipei, it’s a good place, because people are nice and usually friendly. There are no special difficulties to be accept here, but the taiwanese society is still conservative for the family (meaning gay taiwanese can have a lot of difficulties to be accepted in their families). As a foreigner, it’s ok because people see you as a foreigner, so you can be different… ^^
You can have (straight) friends of course, but it won’t be more easy here than in Europe, except that some taiwanese are more “into foreigners”, that can help you (but actually I don’t thinks it’s a good point, because it makes you “a foreigner” and not a real person). In a general way, it’s more easy to make friends when you live abroad, because you meet a lot of traveling guys who are usually more open-minded (not just for gay, but for all sort of different person).

And I don’t get your point of “young” and “old” people. I don’t think there is a difference between “old gay” and “young gay” ^^

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Thank you for sharing your experience.

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hi alex95, I’m a gay taiwanese and I’m sure you’ll be very welcomed here. People tend to think foreigners are more open-minded and ballsy in the relationship, that maybe the obstacles when you date a taiwanese guy, cuz sometimes they’re not that self-motivated, most of the time quite introvert in the public without apparent flirtation. But you definitely have the edge when hitting on someone(but better equipped with chinese conversation skill).Taiwan is not generally acceptabe to different sexual orientation, especailly in semi-urban area or rural area. In the big metropolitan area, gay activities will be more often and we’re never short of gay bars or saunas, but somewhat all the activities becomes iscreet if it involves public promotion of gay rights or media exposure of gay events. For example, you might found the ballpark number reach the new high every year in Taipei but you will still find many people still being aloof to their family because of their orientation. So, it’s quite ok like hand in hand with your bf on the street or bring your bf to a potluck party. But second thought is usually what he needed if he’s gonna bring you home to introduce you to his parents. I’m just saying, it’s getting better here but have much room to improve to reach the similar human right awareness in Nordic country or Netherland. Hope you like my reply and finger crossed for your dream:)).

Dennis

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Depending on your English, America, especially California might be a good place to consider as well?

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

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Is this really how you see us?

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Sorry I don’ t understand you question. Do you mean ‘‘Is this really how you see Italians?’’
Go and live in Italy and try it :wink:

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  1. Taiwan is really a open-mind city? (differences betwenn old and young people?)

A bit closed when it comes to family, but if you’re not family, they don’t really care too much. Not quite Sweden/Denmark levels but way better than Italy/Greece.

  1. how young people( means boys that are lower of 30 years old) view the homosexuality?

They are very open-minded.

  1. Can I live a ‘‘normal’’ life?

Yes. Your biggest problem will be getting a job (and thus residency visa).

  1. Can I walk on the street holding a boys man without people that insult me ?

Yes, you see it all the time and no one even cares.

  1. Can I go to the bar, cinemas, restaurants ecc with my boyfriend?

Yes, you see it happen all the time.

  1. How is social life? (I think social life of taiwanese people is very active)

You will have a lot of fun. The people here are friendly.

  1. Cain I have STRAIGHT friend, or make new frineds or relationship and be open with my sexuality? Or people isolated me?

You’ll find it easy to make friends just by being European.

  1. How taiwanese ‘‘see’’ the foreigners?

Generally, it’s positive. However, whenever a foreigner does something stupid, and it gets on TV, sentiment turns negative for a while.

  1. the most important: how taiwanese boy react to '‘feminine man ( it’ s not my case) or ‘‘sweet’’ ‘‘interested’’ man? ( I mean that taiwanese boys seems cute and sweet between them)

You’ll do well.

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Thank you very much

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Dear Alex!

Response from a Dutch lesbian. :slight_smile: Glad you liked my country.

Taiwan is a good place to live for gay people, if you compare it to Italy or other Asian countries. For young Taiwanese gays (under 35 more or less), the biggest problem is not to be accepted by their peers (friends, fellow students, etc.) but to be accepted by their family. Somewhat like in Italy perhaps, family is very important and the honor of the parents depends on their children. If the child does not marry and have children, the parents will be ashamed of their children. If you are straight and don’t marry and have kids in Taiwan, you will also be under a lot of pressure from your family, but for gays the pressure is even higher of course (and the situation more hopeless).

My personal experience: I am very open about my sexuality (Dutch habit…) and have had nothing but positive and respectful responses when I come out to people here in Taiwan. One strange response from a 50+ year old guy, so I just stopped hanging out with him. Unlike many Western guys, Taiwanese guys don’t harass me with questions about my sex life and other intimate details! Yay! I quickly found gay friends as well. Moving to a foreign country, being gay can be an advantage because the local gay community will greet you with open arms and befriend you.

Since your family is not Taiwanese, your problems will be much smaller than local Taiwanese guys, but if you start dating a Taiwanese man, you might run into problems because he will quite likely not be open to his family. This can be very stressful, especially after a few years. But you are 18, so you might not need to think so far ahead.

If you want to move to Taiwan, don’t do it just because it’s gay-friendly (friendlier…), you should have other reasons to be here. Otherwise, move to Milan or Rome, and I am sure you will be able to find your scene! You might not know the right people now, but spend some time and I am sure there is a big gay support network in Italy too, like everywhere in the world. And if you don’t want to move to the Netherlands, try big cities in France, Spain, Portugal or other countries you like and you will be sure to find a place for you. When I grew up in Amsterdam I also thought that there were no fun places for gay people (really!) but after a while I found my circle of friends (although most my friends are still straight). For any outsider, the local gay scene might seem non-existent when really it is just a bit hidden. :slight_smile:

If you do want to move to Taiwan, the easiest way to do so is as a student. Come study at the MTC (Mandarin Training Center) in Taipei for example, it’s the best school in Taiwan in my opinion (especially for the price). I studied there, and did lots of research and comparisons with other foreigners. I also studied Chinese in China and the US. Do well the first semester, and then apply for a scholarship like the Huayu Enrichment Scholarship after that from the Taiwanese government, and you will be able to live comfortably on the scholarship for free in Taiwan! Find more info about this scholarship on this forum. You can also apply for the scholarship before you even come to Taiwan, you might still get the scholarship! My gf is an American who applied with no prior knowledge of Chinese but a nice story of why she wanted to be here and she got it!

When I was 18, I also went abroad for a few years (not to Taiwan). It was great and provided a no-pressure environment to become comfortable with myself and my sexuality, without having to fear that my family and friends would keep track of every step of those years of “self-discovery”. Then, after I transformed into a beautiful swan after a few ugly duckling years, I returned in full glory. :slight_smile: In the age of FB, that might be harder but I think it can be very healthy to go away from home for a while during this period of your life. Wew, I sound old, I’m still in my twenties!