Also, I would think that coronavirus complicates things. Wouldn’t want to go for a visa run just to get quarantined for 14-24 days.
At least you can sit at home drinking Corona…
Another good news update!
Wife and kids are on an airplane right now headed to the U.S.! They’ll be back home in about 12 hours!
The night after I got home earlier this week, I arranged a video chat with my kids. That’s when I broke the news that “Hey, I’m back home already!” I tried to focus on the kids and being positive like, “look, here’s are your rooms … and all your stuffies are still here and they miss you.” Wife was obviously listening incredulously, first accused me of being a liar, but quickly realized that her con was up and started crying. Then a few hours later, she sends me a message that she’s booked a flight home, and forwarded me the flight confirmation.
I think she got scared about getting in trouble for parental kidnapping, as some of you had mentioned. My lawyer advised me to not make any threats or promises to her over the phone, but basically I just said “well, if you voluntarily come back with the kids, then I think you have nothing to worry about.” That’s all it took, folks.
So, then next week should be interesting. I think the DV case is still pending in Taiwan. I’m sure wife is going to downplay and blame-shift and try to make things go “back to normal”. Yeah, we’ll see about that.
I’m glad your wife sees reason. There’s nothing to be gained lying to prosecutors here.
Very happy for you @wannagohome. I would however not be in the house alone when she arrive. Have your friend, your mother, ANYONE who can be a witness that you didn’t beat her in your house in the US, because I am sure she will find the opportunity to make this allegation in the US, and over there she will only need her mouth to speak and that’s considered enough to prosecute you.
I would not spend any 5 minutes with her alone anymore.
yea in fact I wouldn’t even live with her, especially when she has made allegations like this, and in the US they pretty much take her words at face value and not bother checking it(and that you’re pretty much guilty regardless of any evidence you have). If she makes such allegation you will lose your job at minimum, that is even if a witness comes forward.
An assault can happen in any 5 minutes, so even if the OP decides to divorce and not live with her, just a meeting with her arriving from the airport is enough for her to say he’s hit her as soon as she arrived home. That’s why I say he needs someone there for when she arrives so he is not alone in the house with her and the kids, kids this young won’t be used as witness, so he needs an adult aside. And she is proven to be not a trustworthy person, so I would not be with her alone anymore in any circumstances. Don’t even sleep in the same room when she arrives.
I’m inclined to agree. Unless of course OP really is planning to put that international parental kidnapping charge on her ass and she just gets taken into custody upon arrival…
She cannot be trusted ever again. “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
Congrats @wannagohome. I hope that your children, if they we’re aware of any of this, get the support they need.
And I hope you and your wife have the healing that’s needed as well.
Be safe. And good luck.
OP Update: My family safely arrived back home in the U.S. this past weekend!
The kids are happy as can be. I think they’re pretty much oblivious to all the drama that went on. To them it was like an extended vacation in Taiwan. They’re thrilled to be back home and they are interacting with me as if nothing has changed.
The wife on the other hand is kinda an emotional mess. I know many of you suggested that I not stay in the same house with her, but I ignored that advice because I knew how she would react to that hardball stance. I’m playing it cool, and letting her realize on her own the extent of the damage that was caused to our relationship.
Anyway, I’m thrilled to have my family back home. Thanks again for all of your support.
Nicely done. You are in a far better position now
Good luck, but forewarned by those of us on this Forum. I am not married to a TW woman, by have seen/heard/read enough to know that they can be the most batshit crazy on the face of the Earth. She needs professional psychiatric help and restrictions on time alone with your kids. Take this opportunity to get full custody of the kids, for their safety.
You had good legal support but, honestly, you really lucked out. Trust no words from her mouth. You now need to anticipate any move she might make (custody/DV). She is NOT WELL as you have suggested. Get GOOD legal counsel and safeguards in place (eg., kids’ passports in a safety deposit box). Nanny cams in every room, with back up recordings.
What you saw was the TRUE face of the monster you are facing. Don’t delude yourself into any other “reality” again or, odds are, your kids will be taken again.
You are truly LUCKY to be where are. Don’t do anything to compromise the fortunate situation you are now in. She is only an “emotional mess” because her PLANS were foiled. Take precautions and don’t be a “statistic.” Best of wishes!
Install a nanny camera. You do not know how a distraught emotionally unstable person may act. We have parents killing their children here every week.
Hire a nanny to help out with house chores and keep an extra eye on the kids.
Get counseling for yourself, independently of the state of your relationship.
Put the kids safety and well being first.
Get a spy hole camera in that house ASAP. It sounds sneaky, but despite that I’ve never met you I’m worried for you. We have had a lot more experience than you. You are staggering into a mine field. You’re probably in deep s…t. Good luck !
This is good advice. Kids safety is number one in that kind of scenario.
Like many people have said, heard, and experienced, in the USA a DV allegation can hurt you BAD. I don’t mean an exit ban but I mean serious stuff like jail time (at worst), but at minimum, loss of jobs, reputation, professional career, etc…
The MeToo movement is very big in the USA and any feminist judge/prosecutor will latch onto every story or allegation they can find and they can ruin your day on just a hearsay or even an inappropriate post from social media. Prosecutors in the US have zero accountability except for the number of bodies they put in jail! You ever heard of private prisons? Incarceration in the US is big business! Google GEO Group, CCA, and you’ll know what I am talking about. The US has the highest incarceration in the world for a reason! Don’t be one of them.
What I mean is, a single well placed call to the relevant authority from your wife WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE AND COST YOU YOUR FREEDOM!! She does not have to be telling the truth and she can fake any evidence, bruises, medical report, and there are big, well funded groups that will take her word for it and ruin your life!
Almost everyone in the US who has dealt with domestic situations that I know always have the same story, the word of a female is worth 10 times as much as the words of a male. There have been cases where the female was given custody even though she was 100% at fault, and the only time the male got custody was because there were well documented evidence that the woman was downright criminal and abusive, and even if the court would exonerate you (do not count on the police to be reasonable, their job is to put people in jail, big, well funded groups make sure of that), the court of public opinion will make sure your professional career is basically over.
You need to be very careful from now on. I mean very careful. She can hurt you and lots of people will help her do it if given the chance!
PS: When you had a criminal allegation in Taiwan you were probably summoned to the prosecutor’s office for some questioning, am I correct? You didn’t get a visit from the police at 2AM and taken in handcuffs and have to wait in custody for a week before you saw a magistrate, I assume? I don’t know the nature of the allegation but I know in the US that’s exactly what will happen to you if your wife made a serious enough allegation. Also a restraining order can be issued just based on her words and it will be extremely hard (as in tens of thousands in lawyers) to get that taken off. DV convictions, even for a misdemeanor means you lose the right to possess guns permanently. Speaking of that, if you own any firearms, give it to your parents or other trusted relatives for safekeeping. Or else the police may take it.
I couldn’t have said this any better. I agree 100% with everything that @KongTaigi has said.
I also wholeheartedly support the comments from the following Forumosans as well.
Sending positive mental energy your way for the best outcome for you and especially your children.
You know your family, marriage, their needs and yours better than us. Any decisions you make will be wise.
Just care yourself during this period! Good luck.
Man all this stuff makes me not want to get married
Oh wait I’m already married. Better not have kids then
But hey they are still your kids and you can still be a Dad to them best you can
And they are free to do what they want when they reach 18