Sometimes you kind of have to make a choice. Am I going to change my behavior to fit in better with others, or am I going to say fuck them and go my own way? Either way might work, but you can’t always have it both ways.
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Everyone getting angry and frustated here but please understand that depression makes a person ALWAYS look things in a negative way. No matter how many good and valid viewpoints there are here from everyone, a depressed person wont just say ‘‘okay, you are right, let me work on it’’. If he do that then he isnt depressed. Depression makes a person pessimistic
Thus even if we keep giving suggestions on this forum, it will go nowhere ever.
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I wish I knew how to fix it.
And plenty of times I’m depressed even if I got few reason to be depressed. It’s often triggered by something.
Apart from asking for drugs, I don’t know what else to do.
Do you give people suggestions if they have cancer or diabetes? Or do you treat them for it?
I know what your brain is doing. When we have depression, we tend to be so negative that we ourself seek to find ways to go negative towards any help someone is giving to us because our mind tells us ‘‘this is what u deserve’’
U know people here are gonna give u great good valid points and
sympathize with u and try to not make u lonely but your mind kind of enjoys being self victim so thats what it is getting here.
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So what can I do about it? I’m taking medications but clearly it doesn’t always work.
They also have to do something themselves.
To use your analogy, what can people do to help a diabetic who stuffs his face with donuts every day and refuses to try other foods? What can they do to help someone with lung cancer who continues to smoke?
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Medicines dont always work and they have huge side effects. You are doing most of what u can already. Best solution for depression is doctors. All that self improvement motivational ‘‘go out there and make friends’’ crap doesnt work when you are clinically depressed. Such motivation is only for people with low mood.
Maybe u can ask the doctor for higher dozes or change in medication.
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I would need to report the symptoms on my next visit and maybe he will make adjustments, or something. Or perhaps prescribe stimulants to help with the ADHD related issues, or maybe something to use for panic attacks that doesn’t seem to go away.
There’s triggers, and often my mind is looking for something that they can’t or won’t give and I don’t know what to do about it.
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Tell them all your symptoms even triggers. Every little detail.
While this is broadly true, it doesn’t alter the fundamental reality: there is nothing that can be done by any external agency in this scenario. And yes, there is a self-destructive impulse that - at one level - revels in the dysfunctional state.
The fact that it is hard to make changes when you are depressed does not imply that one can simply avoid making those changes and expect any good result.
The comparison with smoking or diabetes is actually rather apt. Some people with diabetes (type 2) do indeed refuse to do the very thing that will help them, and will find all kinds of excuses not to do it. People can stop smoking, but they have to want it badly enough to do so - and sadly that may only happen when they’ve been diagnosed with lung cancer.
Anything worth doing is usually difficult. One can either face the difficulty and overcome it, or give up and accept the consequences.
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People can stop smoking, but it’s incredibly hard because there is clinical dependency on nicotine making it damn near impossible. Your mentality is chalk it up to personal responsibility so that you can absolve yourself of any need to help him and feel good about it.
You can’t quit smoking without clinical help, some can, with a lot of willpower perhaps, but addiction is clinical, and there are biological dependency on them.
There are some points of equivalence, but they’re not identical. You’re trying to talk yourself into a position where pills are the solution. I know how that feels, but reaching for pharmacological ‘solutions’ isn’t going to help. All of the problems that led to your depression will still be there, however many pills you take.
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Ideally you should be doing some sort of behavioural therapy alongside your medication. Trust me when I say the meds alone aren’t going to help you. You can up your dose, sure, but at some point you need to learn how to deal with the symptoms somehow.
Before you pull the I’m mentally ill card on me, know that I’m also neuro divergent (severe ADHD and mild depression). Some days are great, other days are a struggle, but I try anyway.
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Where can I get behavioral therapy in Taiwan that doesn’t cost a ton of money? Everywhere I look they all turn to drugs.
I don’t think I’m alone in finding most therapists in Taiwan to be basically useless.
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Lol you’re not wrong. I’ve had shit luck with therapists too. School therapists were generally okay, but not the best. My psych tried to make me attend ADHD group therapy where the mean age was like 8 years old lmao Obvs opted not to do that. Instead I’ve turned to ADHD related podcasts to fill the void. Might work for you but ymmv.
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Yes. Even today i searched for therapy and its just expensive. I tried community center last year but meh
At least you are trying things.
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I’ve been to community center a few times and apart from costing money, they are useless. I get better value eating hot pot or at a gay sauna.
The first martial arts class will probably be a free trial lesson. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. Perhaps the AC won’t be cold enough.
But you have nothing to lose by trying.
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Do you? Then have the discipline to follow one thing regardless of whether you like it or not.
The world I think is full of polymaths. You seem like one. They are normally quite interesting people but rarely conventionally happy. They don’t amount to much but they seem to have a good time trying a bit of everything.
Try that. 
I believe studies are showing that ADHD causes Oppositional Defiance syndrome.
Know more, do better, suppose.