The other day I was taking the red line from my home in Hongshulin to Taipei and its crowded so I have to standing. I hear two women behind me talking very loud and all I hear is ugly this and ugly that. “What about your sister’s friend? No he is too ugly.” blah blah blah. So I turn around to see who is doing all the criticizing expecting to see Maggie Wu and Chiling Lin. Imagine my horror when instead of Maggie and Chiling I see Shrek and some other woman who looks like horse.
This wasn’t the first time I see average to ugly looking women being very criticizing of other peoples looks. We are now often surrounded of by picture of handsome men and pretty women. Is the result of all the pictures and advertisements that people standards are now ridiculously high? Are plain looking people more critical of other people looks then good looking people?
Are there few things more pathetic, or more common, than some over/underweight slob of a poorly-dressed, average-to-below-average looks guy, dissecting women batting above his league as to their beauty flaws? Men do this to women ALL the time. So turnabout is fair play. Let men have to measure up to the impossible beauty standards that women have always had to fail to measure up to. It doesn’t feel too good, does it?
Really, well the UK has changed a lot too then. I think I am not articulating myself well, there is more ageism in this society perhaps and therefore a focus on looking youthful , but yes it is a worldwide thing too.
Quentin standing up for women? I’m not going to say anything sarcastic, I’m just going to enjoy this moment
A recent dating experience:
1st date situation. We’re on the subject of looks. I state my philosophy, which is that looks in the strict sense of the word (beautiful, handsome) don’t come into play for me, that it’s more about charisma, sexual energy, chemistry, etc. The guy wholeheartedly agrees, he’s “so above it all”, but keeps referring to my looks all evening, and that kind of bugs me. So the next day I get an email from him (email? really? lame move Nr. 1), asking me for my HONEST opinion of him and the chemistry between us (lame move Nr.2). For him, he says, there was no chemistry, but he sees a lot of potential because we agree on so many things (defensive play? really? lame move Nr. 3). And then follows it by complimenting me on my looks again (lame move Nr. 4).
I decide to do the crazy thing and give him my honest opinion. Which was that we didn’t have any chemistry, that I’m looking for another type of person, which I described. Never brought up looks in any way. It was all true.
I got a reply from his ego. Pages worth of self-righteous litany against people who judge other people on looks before they get to know them. And basically said that I was a superficial bitch who didn’t like him because he was ugly.
When I didn’t reply to that email I got a “it’s a good thing I know early on that you’re a cold-hearted bitch”.
It’s very easy for pretty women to think that a compliment is lame, but trust me, the not so pretty women are always angling for one, and the men get used to it and oblige. Trust me, even smart women fish for compliments about their looks. ALL THE TIME!
tash, I’m a woman, not interested in taking you to bed and have never seen you IRL,and yet I can’t get over your looks. Seriously cut the guy some slack.
About ugly women dissing out guys?? Well I can’t sing to save myself, and you should hear me criticize maestros! 'Nuff said.
Divs, it’s all about posing. 914 and Erhu taught me how to look good for the camera. It took years of training, but it’s finally paying off now that you’ve got the hots for me
But seriously, I think you might have missed my point up there. The guy was judging me on my looks, all the while saying looks are not the most important. Then became outraged when I judged him on criteria important to me, which he interpreted as being related to his looks.
But, yes, I can totally relate to the judging of other people in areas I’m not good in either… all those talent shows where people have the guts to stand in front of the cameras for the whole country (and youtube) to see, and be themselves… you should just hear me with my friends commenting on their singing, dancing, looks, etc.
Thank God I don’t watch TV. But when I do catch a talent show, I end up saying so many bad things about the judges that I feel really guilty of calling people shallow, pretentious, and what not.
So most of us are like that. I’ve met a few people who do not focus on anything negative, which I aspire to do, but its an aspiration. For now I take comfort in ‘actions speak louder than words’, and I’d any day take a woman telling me to get a decent hair-cut or lose weight or whatever (got that in Taiwan ALL the time) than any of those bitches (mostly white ) who would see through me coz I am brown in colour.
Tash, about the guy - good riddance!
that I feel really guilty of calling people shallow, pretentious, and what not.