So, taking my 16 year old Canadian niece across the border to visit extended family in Florida in August sounds like it just got a whole lot tougher than expected…Thanks, Tommy… 
I already told my kids to ignore me.
I just had an experience that cemented for me that I’m not “normal”. I’ve got this strong independent streak in me, which works wonders when applied right, but even in a place that rewards independence, America, it’s out of sync. I was more “normal” in Taiwan compared to other places I’ve lived (Japan, China, various cities in America). While life in Taiwan didn’t manifest to the extent that I wanted to, like Ironlady, I can see more advantages to applying some culture behaviors from Taiwan in my life to navigate than trying to work with an fluctuating American culture which has increasingly moved furthered from my own values.
Whatever you do dont speak to anyone under 18 , because people in the USA will think automatically you are a child molester! Americans are so phobied up about everything. So dont say hello to any kids !! Thats for sure. If they say hello to you pretend not to notice.[/quote]
wait - is it normal to say hi to kids when they stare at you? Y’know when you’re in a coffee shop and some kid/toddler/child starts just staring - I mean it’s an age thing where they a re curious having maybe not seen that many non-Asian people and they don’t realise it’s rude/uncool to stare, right? 'cos, form experience I know that even if you do acknowledge the kid it just gets weirder, right? because you don’t speak the language proper, etc? This is important because it’s happened to me in loads of countries - i never know what to do - so now I just pretend I haven’t noticed!! IS THIS NORMAL!?!?!! 
Damn, i thought I was doing the normal thing!!!
Pretty normal. I don’t know. I ‘fit in’ well enough in my own fishpools.
This is so true, and so hard to do as an ex-pat, especially. I have found (did find) people like that and I kinda kick myself now for not sticking with them. But my life moved on. I have always been kind of ambitious/driven/restless/irresponsible (and not really realised the good I had until…)
[quote=“ThreadKiller”]
I have often felt that the expatriate community is an odd mix – some people who did run away from oppression, their own mess-ups or boredom; others starved for opportunities in their own countries; others who were truly adventurous; and still others who thought “What the hell, let’s try it for a year”, but then fell in love with either the country or something else here. So the expat community, for me, has the best and the worst of the rest of the world. But that’s not really saying anything, is it? There are amazing people and absolute bores, sinners and saints, in pretty much any community – and in the Taiwanese community itself. [/quote]
Also, so true. I think I fall under ‘adventurous’, and ‘starved of opportunities’ but also not included honoraries such as ‘burnt bridges’ and ‘WTF’ and ‘still learning.’
I wish I could say I have fallen in love with Taiwan, and that is why I am here. But in all honesty I have not ‘fallen in love’ with any place ever… (except maybe a few times in certain places) because of all my baggage, like. Taiwan has been the best for me out of the places I’ve been so far, but that is meaningless as it is true - life goes on - it’s been good because of some of the hard work that has happened over the last years in various countries which has enabled me to understand myself a bit. In fact, it is also better for these three reasons - I have met some people whom I am able to be completely honest with and whom I trust and respect, I have a decent job, I have found a place (a city) where I can survive alright.
I was never what I or my friends would call normal. Normal was for the unimaginative dim witted fucks who we thanked God we weren’t like. I can see now, looking back, as if it were some special act of grace that meant we were able to avoid each other for the most part unscathed while still inhabiting the same land mass. Key word concept there is that I was able to choose my friends from out of all the people whom I grew up with. It is easier to judge character, I think, and taste (which might be more important) when you grow up around the same things. You then can become friends with the people who chose the same things as you or respect you for your choices. Then, you can begin to appreciate their characters on more subtle levels, and finally start to build real friendships through shared experiences. You can see how different the experiences of ex-pat and living at home can be.
The social life of an ex-pat is quite difficult because the people are from such diverse backgrounds, and live under such strange circumstances, away from home, etc, that it is kind of difficult to gauge where people are at. I think, as usual it is easier the more superficial/insincere you are. Or at least the more compliant/self assured/whatever. 
Personally, I hope I am finding the confidence and the tact to be able to deal with those people and to admit to myself without feeling ‘left-out’ or strange for not being able to get along with everyone. On the one hand it’s being a man, on another it is letting people be who they are - even if that means they are 
. There are probably more hands to this but I really have rambled on enough for now.
I never felt like I fit in with mainstream society in Canada. I think I’m just somewhat socially awkward, although maybe I mask it well enough. I think I just always cared too much about what others thought about me so I tried too hard to conform to the expectations of those around me.
In Taiwan it’s much easier not to give a damn about what anyone thinks, because they’ll think of me as a strange novelty regardless of how I act. Last time I went back home, I heard from a couple of people that I had grown into myself, whatever that means. I suppose being an alien by default allows you to just find out who you really are and be it.