Astronaut Charged With Kidnap Attempt

Planet Earth is blue and I will kidnap youuuuuuuu…

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) – An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said. She was charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.

Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport _ wearing diapers so she wouldn’t have to stop to urinate _ to confront Colleen Shipman. [/quote]

Houston, we have a breakdown.

Was her disguise a space(wo)man outfit? Cos, you know, that wouldn’t be a very good disguise.

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat…

[quote]Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.[/quote]I’m not surprised, those parts can be quite scary.

She’s astronuts :loco:

[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”][quote]Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.[/quote]I’m not surprised, those parts can be quite scary.

She’s astronuts :loco:[/quote]

That’s why they walk funny.

That’s astronaughty.

That’s astronot funny.

she was obviously attempting a re-entry. But the diapers would have prevented that, surely.

Now charged with attempted murder.

[quote]The police in Orlando, Fla., filed attempted murder charges today against Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak, a NASA astronaut who the authorities say attacked a rival for another astronaut’s affection . . .

Captain Nowak, 43, was wearing a trench coat and wig when she was arrested early Monday morning. She told the police she had worn diapers on the journey so that she would not have to stop to use the restroom . . . The police also found a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car . . .

At the parking lot, Captain Shipman noticed the other woman was following her, she told the police, and quickly entered her car after hearing “running footsteps” behind her.

Captain Nowak, with her hood pulled over her head, approached the car window and tried to open the door.

“Can you help me please?” she said to Captain Shipman, according to the affidavit. “My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up and he is not here. I’ve been traveling and it’s late. Can you give me a ride to the parking office?”

Captain Shipman said no but offered to send help. . .

When Captain Shipman would not open the door, Captain Nowak began to cry and said she could not hear Captain Shipman, the affidavit said. When Captain Shipman cracked open the window, Captain Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the vehicle, the authorities said.

Captain Shipman then drove away and summoned the authorities. . .[/quote]

Here she is before the breakdown. (The bottom pic, obviously. The top pic was the focus of her obsession.)

She’s a graduate of the Naval Academy, has a master’s degree in aeronautical engineering, has flown on the space shuttle, is married and a mother of three.

A sad, truly bizarro story.

Well the obvious answer is that kidnapping people isn’t rocket science, ya know.

Clearly off her nana. Probably not a bad outcome that she lost it while still on the ground. I mean she could have suddenly declared mid-flight “I’m taking this baby to Mars.”


It’s a shame really.

This just HAS to be made into a movie. You know, like “The Astronaut’s Wife”…?

Or better yet, that scene in “Armageddon” where they all sing “I’m leeeeavin’, on a jet plane…”