Being fooled by Girlfriend

Hello to all Forumosa, I have been viewing for long period of time without joining.

One part I’ve noticed a lot of is foreign men being divorced by Taiwanese wife that seems to be mostly over money.

I came to Taipei to live retire from UK after a long term 4 year relationship online and visiting 3 time a year for that period.
She had been previously married ‘arranged’ to a man 20 years her senior, he died 9 years ago from cancer. He paid for everything, done all the housework and she mostly socialised with her own earnings with her own friends. Arranged marriage they both get a child, same religion, family’s many years ago same part of China, marriage is a convenience.
She has a mature daughter 22 that lives at home and is OK does her own thing.
I live in her apartment and pay her a agreed sum each month as well as most food supplies and all social spending.

She has her own small business that is not doing to well in present covid-19 climate has slowed down, truthfully it was not doing to well anyway I suspected.

Now she is somebody who only tells after half bottle of wine (mostly asks rather than tells sober) OK with me each Saturday night, few beers for me and conversation. Each time a few home truths come out hey in the past I’m easy going no problem.

With my help she has been doing a lot of western style baking and selling to friends, mornings doesn’t go to work until 12 and I do a bit or make whole amount in day times. Good for her I pay for ingredients we both make and she gets the profits, Fine by me.

I have noticed also that a majority of Foromosa posters are English teachers (excuse me if I’m wrong).
She has been promting me to do a Training English course at home to keep me busy, I keep very busy cleaning cooking etc!!
No big deal why not I can learn something new, I take on a 150 hour online TEFL course, find it interesting but have no intention of being a teacher. My ex wife was a English teacher UK and was so stressed.

This Saturday just gone evening after some wine. She wants me to become a full time English teacher, remember I came here for retirement! so she can give up her business and do baking full time at home. Problem she sells a bit to friends no real money in it and how she plans to continue.

Personally she is really taking the piss, she sublets 2 apartments to students we have a foreign student lodger who pays well, I give her a decent amount month and she was doing OK until I got here.

I said no! I’m happy to start a small business here but I’m most definitely not doing that.
She’s really put out by my reply! so I’m going to have to go, can’t go back to UK have just put in 180 day extension so possibly stay another 4 months and find somewhere to lodge in Taipei/Taiwan.

I should have realised as she often said how well English teachers are paid, and had friends had always been looked after them well.
Planning it all along.

She is mad I said after 5 years if we are still good together we can marry I’ll sell my property and both retire to a new apartment some where nice.
Relationship has been good we say we love each other each day always hugging, I spend time with her at her shop each day.

Foreigners Money Money Money make a Taiwanese ladies world go round.

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You’re being played like a fiddle…time to drop her like a hot brick. Luckily, your problem is so simple it can be solved by a pair of similes. :sunglasses:

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Welcome!

Sorry to hear this.
So, when she drinks wine she comes out with the truth?
Sounds like you need to make a big wine run to load up on the trurh serum.

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I don’t know what to say about the other stuff (seems like a lot of it comes down to difference in outlook/opinion), but no “mature woman” in her (I’m guessing between 40s to 60s, since you said she has a 22 year old daughter) wants to be told they have to wait 5 years to get married. Or even worse, a 5 year trial period and then you’re the one who decides if she’s good enough to marry.

Also, I’m curious… is English your second language? From your writing, it seems that way, so landing an ESL teaching job might be an uphill battle (but maybe not in this climate where the west is shut off for the time being). You say you’re retired, but I can understand her wanting a husband who works. Yes, I’ve heard the same thing about English teachers “getting paid well.” It’s bollocks from our perspective, but according to the average Taiwanese we are practically white collar. My brother-in-law who works at a factory all day gets about 25K NTD a month and works a hell of a lot harder than I do.

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You just don’t understand British English.

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Bollocks! :uk:

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I moved here from my partner. I can sympathise with you. Only difference is my partner is 26 but sees her life as a dream where she does nothing. That’s the beauty of growing up in Taiwan. No real world life experience is learnt during childhood. They are protected from anything hard.

It is a big culture shock to find out that they have no real goal in life other than being lazy and living off your hard work.

Good luck.

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Just taking the piss… :grin:

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Where are you taking the piss to?

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Aye mate, careful or I’ll give ya a right Cheshire grin with me broken bloody pint glass! :tumbler_glass:

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Good question. I don’t have a pot to piss in.

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I am English but not a teacher!
Academically not that bright, I have a Degree in Computer Science 1989! I qualified as motor engineer leaving school age 16 1n 1979.
However I never worked in computers and only restored cars as a hobby.
I preferred self employed manual work, higher wages.
I am pleased my English is not that great shame I can’t show comment to her.
Her age is 48 I’m nearly 57.

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Did you make it clear to your GF you have no intention of being a teacher?

Me too! It’s a bit confusing.

I’m guessing you where spending money like a drunken sailor, on your precious visits to TW, and now you are budgeting and being cheap? This might be her perspective.

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Yes I did!

After saying I wouldn’t be a teacher she should not be, always had her own way and I am naive or to easy going who knows.

Just tell her she’s lucky you’re not charging her for the privilege of your charming company.

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Hey I never spend money like a Drunken sailor, don’t retire early by doing so!

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Sounds pretty common. I had a girl on the first date say that she wanted to get married and quit her job in healthcare and move to the west with me where she wouldnt need to work and be a housewife.
Noped out of there in a hurry. TMI on the first date. Or twentieth date

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I think you know what the answer is. Time to cut and run. If not, you’re going to miserable for the rest of your life with her and I guess you’ll be sharing your misery with everyone here on Forumosa. For us it will be like watching a car crash in slow motion.

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I read the title as ‘’being boiled by Taiwanese girlfriend’’

Not far wrong I guess

Maybe Asian ladies are not such good partners in money making

You best have your money making thing and She should have hers

Of course what she makes she’s not sharing and she’s sharing in what you make

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