This is a rant. Please share useful or amusing things you’ve tried.
OK, we have at least 3 strikes against us:
My wife and two teenage daughters are here, so there’s often a group of us.
We’re in a comparatively small city in Tainan County.
My daughters are pretty and very tall (171.4cm & 168.9cm)
But even when I’m out alone it’s like most of the locals have never seen a Caucasian before. There are other foreigners in this town. On more than one occasion I/we have had people nonchalantly follow us in the grocery store just to look at us. It really bothers my daughters.
It’s hard to just ignore. Staring back usually makes them stop.
On more than one occasion I’ve turned to the pointing parents and said in Mandarin, “That’s not polite.”
I really want to find a t-shirt shop that can print up 4 shirts that say in Chinese something to the effect of, “Yes, I’m an American. Stop Staring.” Of course that would make some people stare more as they read the shirt.
Thank you for letting me rant.
[quote=“kjmillig”]This is a rant. Please share useful or amusing things you’ve tried.
OK, we have at least 3 strikes against us:
My wife and two teenage daughters are here, so there’s often a group of us.
We’re in a comparatively small city in Tainan County.
My daughters are pretty and very tall (171.4cm & 168.9cm)
But even when I’m out alone it’s like most of the locals have never seen a Caucasian before. There are other foreigners in this town. On more than one occasion I/we have had people nonchalantly follow us in the grocery store just to look at us. It really bothers my daughters.
It’s hard to just ignore. Staring back usually makes them stop.
On more than one occasion I’ve turned to the pointing parents and said in Mandarin, “That’s not polite.”
I really want to find a t-shirt shop that can print up 4 shirts that say in Chinese something to the effect of, “Yes, I’m an American. Stop Staring.” Of course that would make some people stare more as they read the shirt.
Thank you for letting me rant.[/quote]
Unfortunately this will not stop… so get used to or or you will drive yourself crazy.
Yes, you can stare back or tell them it is rude, but do you really want to go around everyday being forced to confront every slack jawed yokel gawking at you?
Just get used to it, life will be so much easier I promise.
It’s more fun when they’re so focused staring at you that they end up walking into things in the supermarket
It happens, it’s just how it goes here, nothing much you can do about it. A friend of mine was here and he’s ginger with loads of freckles, he had a whole starbucks window full of girls knocking and waving, he found it quite amusing though…
[quote=“TheLostSwede”]It’s more fun when they’re so focused staring at you that they end up walking into things in the supermarket
It happens, it’s just how it goes here, nothing much you can do about it. A friend of mine was here and he’s ginger with loads of freckles, he had a whole starbucks window full of girls knocking and waving, he found it quite amusing though…[/quote]
I’ve been here for a while and I guess you can say I am used to being stared at. I find it amusing most of the time and have learned that getting angry, responding, or any other “methods” have just exasperated the problem.
If you got a t-shirt that said “staring is rude” or “li kuang shan mi” (Taiwanese), then they would just keep staring and probably read your shirt outloud and start telling everyone what the foreigner’s t-shirt said. It would make their week and they would talk about it for the rest of their life. But it would not stop the staring.
For kids, I do recommend saying something, especially if the parents are around to overhear. I think the next generation is where we can encourage social change in many ways. I have lived in this particular building for almost a decade; longer than some of my neighbor kids have been alive!. So sometimes I just tell them I’m their neighbor, not a foreigner. They don’t get it, but their parents understand and it means they will talk about it later. (I hope)
On the other hand, I have lost that “turn away reflex” myself. That has caused me a couple of rude reactions back in the states. I guess I find myself staring at funny-looking white people too.
I think the best thing to do is to learn to live with it. Try to ignore it and don’t get angry. For your daughters, I think your example will do wonders for how they feel. If you react in a civilized way, then your kids will learn to react in a civilized way. Don’t be condescending, explain the cultural difference, and enjoy the surprise opportunity to teach your own kids about tolerance.
When I went to Tainan, I noticed that I was indeed followed around, pointed at and generally stared at with open mouths.
But, in Longtan, Chungli, and everywhere in between, I’ve found that nobody even looks twice at me. Sure, I get the odd one every now and then, but nothing like I had in Tainan.
Get used to it. Prepare some business cards. You might find yourself making contacts with some really kind or useful people. Maybe even potential employers or private students.
Yeah I had the same impression of Tainan, it’s a bit backward, still get the ‘adogah’ callout and ‘hellos’ from across the street. Northern Taiwan is much better in that regard, in Taipei these days it’s not really as much an issue. Even in Miaoli country I don’t attract too much attention. No matter what people say there is a slightly xenophobic streak in the southern Taiwanese or else something that could be characterised as ‘this is our turf’, I guess it’s just a rougher place in general. That would be misrepresenting the staring part which is 99% sheer curiousity of course. Tainan is a nice place in other ways (thinking hard), oh yeah the weather, countryside and AnPing harbour… . I had issues with staring for years, still do a bit sometimes, I always found it fine when I was with other foreigners and when my mood was better and now I don’t feel so stressed after learning language, getting familiar with place, feeling more comfortable.
Punch one of them. News soon spreads around the collective that you are violent, and they will move away from you.
Some tard once told me ‘if you stop looking at them looking at you the problem will dissolve.’ I think he was calling me an idiot.
In Japan I saw a lovely sight. Two very nosy people staring at me and me big white body, and didnt notice they were about to walk into each other. Just before impact I signalled to them both to look forwards, which they did, cauing a full frontal face to face impact. One of them hit the deck. Most satisfying.
[quote=“Marty”]
Get used to it. Prepare some business cards. You might find yourself making contacts with some really kind or useful people. Maybe even potential employers or private students. [/quote]
Uh, yeah, some fuckin rube who stares at foreigners, that’s my dream employer, imagine how he treats them when they work for him…
Fuckin A. I was sitting with a friend on our respective bikes, having a beer and a smoke, and these two humps on a scooter pull up close to us and are actively staring at us and grinning, basically eavesdropping on our conversation. I turned to them and said (in English) “What the fuck are you looking at?”
Guy keeps grinning like a simpleton and says “Nothing, just being friendly.”
I say “Go fucking do it somewhere else.”
So he did!
Who says people in Taiwan can’t follow simple instructions?
Yeah, I love that.
More than a couple times I’ve seen some yahoo do a faceplant in the day market because he/she’s gawking at me or my kid and paying zero attention to what’s in front of him/her.
BAM!
Cracks me up every time.
I miss the days in California where bikers can just get together and shoot the shit for the love of bikes despite what differences they may have over anything else.
I like them staring at me. This way I don’t feel any guilt staring at the chicks with short skirts. By the way, this new fashion of long boots with short skirts or hotpans remind of the seventies.
Ah… what you say we were discussing…
Staring at foreigners is normal in most areas of the world where people see few foreigners.
People whose appearance differs more sharply than the “average” local appearance are more likely to be stared at: e.g. in Taiwan, people who are especially tall, pale or attractive are likely to draw more stares than more average-looking people will.
In many cultures (including Chinese), staring is not considered rude. When locals say to other locals, “Don’t stare at the foreigner. It’s rude”, they’re really saying “Don’t stare at the foreigner. They consider it rude in their culture.”
In most cases in Taiwan, there’s no hostile aspect to the staring: it’s curiosity.
Staring back, telling people it’s rude, etc. is usually ineffective and often confusing to locals. Depending on your behavior at the time, you may end up drawing even more stares. There is little you can do to change the situation.
My advice:
Get used to it. Ignore it. Or smile back at the people. I guarantee: after a while, you won’t even notice it.
And thank your lucky stars you don’t live in India.
This has been a topic many a time here. I haven’t been to enough places to rate Taiwan on the ‘stareometer’ yet, but I think Taiwanese know they shouldn’t do it but do it anyway…I have seen them staring at other Taiwanese too. But sometimes I stare back at them and they get all embarrassed, cracks me up… To say that staring is not offensive here, sorry, don’t buy it, otherwise why would the phrase ‘kan shemme kan’ (what the hell you looking at) have been invented.
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