note: lines three and nine have been edited as per your gracious suggestions and the agreement of resident expert.
Biao3xian4 zi4ran2
(Act Naturally)
Ta1men5 yao4 ba3 wo3 fang4 zai4 dian4ying3 li3tou2
(They’re gonna put me in the movies.)
2)Ta1men5 yao4 ba3 wo3 bien4cheng4 da4 dian4ying3 min2gxing1.
(They’re gonna make a big star outta me.)
Wo3men5 hui4 pai1 yi1 bu4 dian4ying3 guan1yu2 yi1ge5 bei1shang2 he2 hen3 ji2mo4 de5 nan2ren2.
(We’ll make a film about a man that’s sad and lonely.)
4)Wo3 xu1yao4 zuo4 de shi4 biao3xian4 zi4ran2.
(And all I gotta do is act naturally.)
Wo3 gen1 ni3 da3du3 wo3 jiang1 hui4 bian4cheng4 yi1ge hen3 da4 dian4ying3 ming2xing1
(Well I bet you I am gonna be a big star.)
Peng2you5men5, ye3xu3 wo3 hui4 ying2de2 yi2 zuo4 ao4se1ka3 jiang3.
(My friends, an oscar You can never tell.)
Zhe4 bu dian4ying3 jiang1 hui4 wo3 bian4chang4 yi1 ge da4 ming2xing1, yin1wei4 wo3 hui4 ba3 zhe4 ge jiao3se4 ban4yan3 de hen3 hao3.
(The movies gonna make me a big star cuz I can play the part so well.)
Wo3 xi1wang4 ni3 hui4 guo4 lai2 kan4 wo3 zai4 zhe4bu4 dian4ying3 li3, ran2hou4 ni3 hui4 kan4 dao4 yi1 ge5 you3 shi3 yi3 lai2 zui4 da4 de5 sha3gua1 bian4 you3ming2, wo2 xu1yao4 zuo4 de zhi3 shi4 biao3yan3 zi4ran2.
(Well, I hope you come and see me in the movies.
Then I know that you will plainly see
the biggest fool that ever hit the big time.
and all I gotta do is
act naturally.)
Wo3men5 hui4 pai1 yi2bu4 dian4ying3 guan1yu2 yi1ge5 bei1shang2 he2 hen3 ji2mo4 de5 nan2ren2 dun1 xia4 lai4 bai4 tou1 ai1qiu2.
(We’ll make the scene about the man
that’s sad and lonely
and beggin down upon his bended knee.)
Wo hui4 ban4yan3 zhe4 ge jiao3se4, wo3 bu4 xu1yao4 cai3pai2, wo xu1yao4 zuo4 de zhi3shi4 biao3xian4 zi4ran2.
(I’ll play the part and I won’t need rehearsing.
All I have to do is
act naturally)
Wo3 gen1 ni3 da3du3 wo3 jiang1 hui4 bian4cheng4 da4 ming2xing1.
(Well I bet you I’m gonna be a big star.)
Peng2you5men5, ye3xu3 wo3 hui4 ying2de2 yi2 zuo4 ao4se1ka3 jiang3.
(My friends, an oscar, you can never tell.)
Zhe4 bu dian4ying3 jiang1 wo3 bian4cheng4 yi1ge da4 ming2xing1, yin1wei4 wo3 ban4yan3 zhe4 ge jiao3se4 fei1chang2 hao3.
(The movies gonna make me a big star cuz I can play the part so well.)
Wo3 xi1wang4 ni3 neng2 guo4 lai2 kan4 wo3 zai4 zhe4bu dian4ying3, ran2hou4 wo3 zhi1dao ni3 hui4 dan1chun2 kan4 dao4 yige zui4 da4 de sha3gua1 bian4chang4 cheng2gong1, wo3 xu1yao4 zuo4 de zhi3 shi4 biao3xian4 zi4ran2 de.
(Well I hope you"ll come and see me
in the movies.
Then I know that you will plainly see
the biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is
act naturally.)
Are you looking for help fixing the translation? Perhaps we can each take a small piece of it. I’ll start:
[quote]3) Wo3men5 pai1 yi1 bu4 dian4ying3 guan1yu2 yi1 ge5 nan2ren2 shi4 bei1shang1 de he2 hen3 ji4mo4 de.
(We’ll make a film about a man that’s sad and lonely.) [/quote]
The “a movie about xxx” in English needs to become “an about xxx movie” in Chinese.
A similar inversion of order is needed for the “man that’s sad…” bit; it needs to become “a sad man”. In both cases, the modifying clause has to precede the noun modified.
So we end up with “an about-a-sad-and-lonely-man movie”
Wo3men5 hui4/yao4 pai1 yi2bu4 guan1yu2 yi1ge5 bei1shang1de, hen3 ji4mo4de nan2ren2de dian4ying3. (I haven’t run that by my better third yet, though, so if I’ve left any errors I’m sure someone will jump in and tell us. )
Finally, in Taiwan, lonely is ji2mo4 (ji2 is 2nd tone).
Wo3men5 hui4/yao4 pai1 yi2bu4 guan1yu2 yi1ge5 bei1shang1de, hen3 ji4mo4de nan2ren2de dian4ying3. (I haven’t run that by my better third yet, though, so if I’ve left any errors I’m sure someone will jump in and tell us. )[/quote]
Too many de5’s for my liking. How about this:
我們會拍一部電影關於一個悲傷和寂寞的男人. Wo3men5 hui4 pai1 yi2bu4 dian4ying3 guan1yu2 yi1ge5 bei1shang1 he2 ji2mo4de5 nan2ren2.
Yeah, lots of these little pronounciation differences between the two standard venaculars across the straits. The biggest, imo, is the word for garbage. Written the same way, but pronounced le4se4 in Taiwan and la1ji1 on the mainland. I know, I know, I’m straying off topic.
Also kind of off-topic:
I deal with Chinglish on a daily basis, but rarely do I deal with “Englese” (English-style Chinese). It would be interesting to identify characteristic errors in Chinese made by native English speakers.
One is the use of “ruguo” (if") to mean “whether”, from direct translations like “I don’t know if I can do it.”
[quote=“Chris”]Also kind of off-topic:
I deal with Chinglish on a daily basis, but rarely do I deal with “Englese” (English-style Chinese). It would be interesting to identify characteristic errors in Chinese made by native English speakers.
One is the use of “ruguo” (if") to mean “whether”, from direct translations like “I don’t know if I can do it.”[/quote]
I think the OP said (before the edit) that the translation was that of his Taiwanese wife’s and that he hurriedly copied it down into pinyin. OP - please correct me if I am mistaken.
I think the translation tries to follow too closely to the structure and grammar of the English original. It’s also too literal in some instances. Example – “plainly see” is translated as “dan1chun2 kan4dao4” 單純看到 as opposed to “ming2xian3 kan4dao4” 明顯看到.
Another obstacle in properly translating these lyrics is the double meaning and play on the phrase “act naturally”.
Teaching English pronunciation mostly though translation difficulties is something we talk about as well of course. For example he says that they are going to put him “in the movies” not that they are they going to put him in “that” movie as I have written in line eight. To me the difference is that to put someone “in the movies” implies that you are going to introduce that person to another world. Not sure how to translate that bit.
Teaching English pronunciation mostly though translation difficulties is something we talk about as well of course. For example he says that they are going to put him “in the movies” not that they are they going to put him in “that” movie as I have written in line eight. To me the difference is that to put someone “in the movies” implies that you are going to introduce that person to another world. Not sure how to translate that bit.[/quote]
Is this an adult English class? And are you going to sing it with them? It sounds like you want to translate the English for your students so they would understand better. Based on my personal experience learning languages, if the translation is poor, it can potentially confuse the students even more (or leave that nagging question in one’s mind that’s never properly answered). But I’m just guessing here as I don’t really know how you plan to introduce this material.
Exactly. That is why I want a good translation. My plan is to use the song as an intro to relaxed speech (it is a good example with all the gonnas, haftas etc.) and then, after hearing it a few times and talking about it a bit, to spring the translation on them and see if they can translate back into English. I’ll admit it gives me a chance to practice my Mandarin.
[quote=“Chris”]Also kind of off-topic:
I deal with Chinglish on a daily basis, but rarely do I deal with “Englese” (English-style Chinese). It would be interesting to identify characteristic errors in Chinese made by native English speakers.
One is the use of “ruguo” (if") to mean “whether”, from direct translations like “I don’t know if I can do it.”[/quote]
I think you have the seeds for a new thread
)
)[/quote]
It sounds like you want to translate the English for your students so they would understand better. Based on my personal experience learning languages, if the translation is poor, it can potentially confuse the students even more (or leave that nagging question in one’s mind that’s never properly answered). But I’m just guessing here as I don’t really know how you plan to introduce this material.