[quote=“Bu Lai En”]I disagree that it is necessary to keep a profesional distance between teacher and students. That’s one teaching style, but not mine. I treat my elementary school students as friends. Same with touching. If the kids want to give me a hug, I let them.
Brian[/quote]
Would you feel the same way about senior high school students? 
[quote=“Bu Lai En”]I disagree that it is necessary to keep a profesional distance between teacher and students. That’s one teaching style, but not mine. I treat my elementary school students as friends. Same with touching. If the kids want to give me a hug, I let them.
Brian[/quote]
Wow! Can you be my teacher? 
haha~jusk kidding~ Well, I have some volunteer jobs for teaching kids in church. I love to hug them and even kiss their cheeks. For me, it’s always okay for treating kids like that. I just show my concerns. Maybe sometimes shake hands or a cup of coffee with special students for older ages is fine in my opinion.
The law and society’s views on the distance that should be maintained between teachers and students in the West and in Taiwan are very different. It’s one thing to hug kindergarten or even younger elementary students, but after that, it’s best to keep a safe distance, both for the sake of the student and the teacher.
I think Taiwan’s “liberalness” when it comes to teacher-student relationships will change as more and more stories come out like the one in today’s “Liberty Times” (in Chinese) where a mother has filed charges against her daughter’s 24 year old male teacher when she discovered in her daughter’s diary that they had been having a “passionate” relationship in the school gymnasium. The guy swears that they only hugged, kissed, and fondled, but who knows … My younger Taiwanese friends (college age) are all very close with their teachers and often go out to eat or for tea of whatever with them. I rarely did that with my teachers back in the States, although occasionally will here … but then again, I don’t think there’s any danger of anything “happening” with me and my 75-year old female Mozi professor … hehe 
[quote=“humor”]
Well, I have some volunteer jobs for teaching kids in church. I love to hug them and even kiss their cheeks.[/quote]
That’s like, really weird. :s
[quote=“Durins Bane”][quote=“humor”]
Well, I have some volunteer jobs for teaching kids in church. I love to hug them and even kiss their cheeks.[/quote]
That’s like, really weird. :s[/quote]
Why weird? I do this even in front of their parents! For I know it’s because I treat them like my kids.(though i’m too youong to be a mother) Their parents even feel happy to see that. For they know their kids are cared by us.
[quote=“humor”][quote=“Durins Bane”][quote=“humor”]
Well, I have some volunteer jobs for teaching kids in church. I love to hug them and even kiss their cheeks.[/quote]
That’s like, really weird. :s[/quote]
Why weird? I do this even in front of their parents! For I know it’s because I treat them like my kids.(though I’m too youong to be a mother) Their parents even feel happy to see that. For they know their kids are cared by us. [/quote]
Like, whatever…if you really want to show the parents you care, give the kids the back of your hand the next time they get out of line.
My favourite hugs come from kindergarten students- the ones when they see you coming in the gate , come charging across the playground screaming “Teacher, Teacher”, throw their arms around your thighs and drive the tops of their pointed little heads straight into your…
“How are you today?” you squeak, in a voice three octaves above normal.
[quote=“MikeN”]My favourite hugs come from kindergarten students- the ones when they see you coming in the gate , come charging across the playground screaming “Teacher, Teacher”, throw their arms around your thighs and drive the tops of their pointed little heads straight into your…
“How are you today?” you squeak, in a voice three octaves above normal.[/quote]
Wow! What a cute picture!! They must be adorable! 
Well, at the school where I work we only have elementary school students aged between 6 and 12. They are forever hanging on to my arms, legs and waist (but never stick their heads into my… 
). In the beginning I felt very uncomfortable about this because I’m male and my students are 80% girls. However, then I realised they do this with the Taiwanese co-teachers too. So my opinion is, if they’re hanging on to me that’s okay. I don’t encourage it, and I don’t seek it out. The parents and owners don’t seem concerned, but then again I am also always in sight and never anywhere totally alone with one or two students.
Although I used to feel very uncomfortable by all this, now I kinda like it in the sense that I feel the kids ar comfortable with me and trust me. Afterall, they are only small children and small kids are apt to do that sort of thing. I don’t want to ply them off me and say, “No! Don’t do that!” I don’t want to risk hurting their feelings by being insensitive. But I should also say, if anything remotely inappropriate happens I immediately give the kid in question a stern look and they seem to get the message…
What kind of remotely inappropriate things have happened for god’s sake bismarck?
Here where I live there’s one of my son’s female kindy classmates who’s always trying to hang on my leg and stuff, ugh. Probably doesn’t get enough affection at home I’d say.
Traditionally, Taiwanese/Chinese parents do not hug their children or tell them they love them. The VAST majority of my friends have told me their parents have never hugged them or said “I love you” to them. They said it would “feel weird.” I think some younger parents are beginning to change, but most Taiwanese families are very unaffectionate. It’s no wonder that the kids crave affection when they go to school.
That’s because they don’t in fact love them. The majority of parents merely tolerate their children.
Ouch…that’s hard to say.
It looks that way sometimes…but I would never go so far as to say it. I think Chinese parents have the same general feelings and expectations and hope for their children.
Sadly their love is usually expressed as loss when something bad happens. 
Ouch…that’s hard to say.
It looks that way sometimes…but I would never go so far as to say it. I think Chinese parents have the same general feelings and expectations and hope for their children.
Sadly their love is usually expressed as loss when something bad happens. [/quote]
I wouldn’t say it’s entirely inaccurate. I’m willing to bet there are quite a few parents who had children merely out of obligation/to satisfy their parents/in-laws rather than actually wanting to have them.
They don’t cuddle them. They show no affection towards them whatsoever. They don’t spend quality time with them, show them how a book works, play board games. They don’t impose any routine on them, like sensible bedtimes, or any kind of discipline other than arbitrary smackings. When their kids ask curious questions they ignore them entirely. Women don’t look after their kids at all for the first month of the kids’ lives. They send them off to be brought up by grandparents and see them once a month, or they put them in 24 hour daycare from Monday to Friday. They drive them around on scooters without crash helmets. They don’t make them nutritious meals. They fatten the boys up with happy meals and treat the girls like they were a mistake.
Hard maybe, but it’s the truth.
[quote=“smithsgj”]They don’t cuddle them. They show no affection towards them whatsoever. They don’t spend quality time with them, show them how a book works, play board games. They don’t impose any routine on them, like sensible bedtimes, or any kind of discipline other than arbitrary smackings. When their kids ask curious questions they ignore them entirely. Women don’t look after their kids at all for the first month of the kids’ lives. They send them off to be brought up by grandparents and see them once a month, or they put them in 24 hour daycare from Monday to Friday. They drive them around on scooters without crash helmets. They don’t make them nutritious meals. They fatten the boys up with happy meals and treat the girls like they were a mistake.
Hard maybe, but it’s the truth.[/quote]
It’s the truth in some case (ok, maybe a lot of cases). But I can tell you of exceptions in every case you stated. I’m not saying this to be argumentative…I just don’t like gross generalizations. To be fair to those parents who are doing a good job, can “we” not use the word “they” so much next time?
Peace
The posters on this thread obviously have a lot of very strong opinions on parenting, as do I. Its easy to generalize about Taiwanese families based on what we see day to day on the street.
You should also remember that Taiwan has a fairly uniform culture i.e. everyone is Chinese. This means that you are looking at the broad cross-section of parents in this discussion.
I’m from a country where there are many vastly different and segregated cultures. This is something you find in many modern countries in the world. Amoungst the educated/rich families, the average parent does a good job and will hate what they see on a daily basis in Taiwan (see above posts). So people like us will be comparing the whole of Taiwan to our section of the population back home. But parents in lower income groups back home are probably making just the same mistakes that those of the same income groups are making in Taiwan. The only difference is that you’re not exposed to it at home so you don’t identify with it, but you are here.
My sad conclusion is that most of our species make poor parents, possibly the worst average of all species on Earth. Have you ever seen a male tiger rape its cub, or an elephant mom giving her child to the grandmother to take care of?
I know I might draw some criticism because the above comments can be viewed as racially discriminating … then so be it. Its just what I think.
teggs
Some chimpanzees murder and eat chimp children. Male polar bears stalk females with cubs and try to kill the cubs, because the female goes into heat if she loses her cubs. Weasels fathers are pedophiles that have sex with their daughters. Let’s not romanticize the animal kingdom. It’s a jungle out there.
It was just a metaphor … but just because we’re not as bad as the worst doesn’t mean that we’re any good.
[quote=“jdsmith”][quote=“smithsgj”]They don’t cuddle them. They show no affection towards them whatsoever. They don’t spend quality time with them, show them how a book works, play board games. They don’t impose any routine on them, like sensible bedtimes, or any kind of discipline other than arbitrary smackings. When their kids ask curious questions they ignore them entirely. Women don’t look after their kids at all for the first month of the kids’ lives. They send them off to be brought up by grandparents and see them once a month, or they put them in 24 hour daycare from Monday to Friday. They drive them around on scooters without crash helmets. They don’t make them nutritious meals. They fatten the boys up with happy meals and treat the girls like they were a mistake.
Hard maybe, but it’s the truth.[/quote][/quote]
I believe that the younger parents now show more affection to their children than their own parents did. A generational gap where showing loving emotions was not ettiquete amongst the elders… not until they were granparents with grandchildren.
I still see some very rigid ties with no physical touching ( unless getting belted counts ) or saying I love you.
Just ask the local kids how many of them kiss and hug their parents before going to bed or before leaving the house. I do with my son.
Some Chinese get very peculiar at those moments… they sorta want to look away… it’s like they would like to do it with their own kids but somehow it feels alien to them. Then when they do it… their own kids runaway in shock lol