Books You Never Finished Reading/Worst Books You've Read

Arts & Sciences Arts & Entertainment
61

James Joyce: Loved Portrait and Dubliners. Loved the first couple dozen pages of Ulysses. Had no use for the rest of the book.

Jared Diamond: The basic thesis of Guns, Germs and Steel is sound, even a little mind-blowing. Geography is destiny. Or was, at any rate. But the writing is sub-par, it gets repetitive, and the overall patina of late 1990s political correctness is off-putting. You cannot claim to be intellectually literate at the beginning of the 21st century without having read this book. Having said that, you needn’t bother with the last half-dozen chapters or so.

Hernando de Soto: The Mystery of Capital has a simple and intriguing premise: if people in the third-world had clear and uncontestable title to their property they would be able to utilize their capital to pull themselves out of poverty. Two problems: a) now that I’ve told you the premise, you don’t need to read the book; b) his ideas don’t seem to actually work–>The De Soto Delusion.

Toni Morrison: Beloved was on the list for a course I took in university. I dropped it when the ghost showed up. Blech. Slavery was bad. Well done.

Amy Tan: Blech.

Salmon Rushdie: Pretentious twaddle. I enjoyed The Satanic Verses when I read it, but an attempt at a re-read was a bit embarrassing.

62

Ooo yeah. That part where he goes on the properties of whale sperm, that gets me so hot.

(I am not making this up. There is indeed a passage in Moby Dick in which the narrator does indeed go off on how wonderful whale sperm is.)[/quote]

spermaceti

A white waxy substance obtained from cavities in the head of
the sperm whale, and used making candles, oilments,
cosmetics, etc. [1913 Webster]

I suppose if you are into candles…

63

Most of my high school honors English classes were a blur. I remember watching the film for Moby Dick, but I don’t remember reading it. Considering how I consistently got the worst grades for my French major in all the literature courses (mostly because I thought everything I had to read was crap and never bothered to read any of it), I have a feeling that I was supposed to have read it, but didn’t. Once upon a time, I tried setting a goal to read all major classic children’s novels (via Penguin classics at Eslite). I ate up The Wizard of Oz and the Jungle Books. I got as far as Peter Pan and quit before reaching the 100th page. I don’t know how the people at Disney do it. They must have Cliff Notes for when they make movies.

64

The Number of the Beast, Robert Heinlein. Well, I was doing a visa run, so I finished it off in the terminal for lack of anything better to do. Written near the end of his life, so I give Heinlein the benefit of being senile. He was never the greatest of prose stylists but some of his sci-fi novels were entertaining; this, however, is unreadable crap. The setup is these four ‘sensual intellectuals’ are on the run in an interdimensional spacecraft from a race of aliens conquering their native dimension - lamer than it sounds. The convoluted and nonsensical plot is an excuse for Heinlein to lamely parody and reference some of his earlier sci-fi works and other fantasy worlds; knee-deep in obscure self-referentialism.

The Illuminatus Trilogy, Robert Anton Wilson. The premise sounds great - a grand parody of every nutbrained conspiracy theory of the entire planet secretly ruled by a cabal of mysterious Illuminati. However, the execution is beyond amateurish - it reads like some sex-obsessed hippie wrote this on dope and didn’t bother to edit it for style or sense afterwards. Horribly, horribly dated in a late '60s/early '70s counterculture way, it reads like bad Kurt Vonnegut after a frontal lobotomy.

Speaking of horribly dated counterculture crap from the '60s, that reminds me - that Jerry Cornelius novel by Michael Moorcock I read was pretty bad. And so was William S. Burrough’s Naked Lunch. God, prose written by people on drugs is so goddamn unreadable.

65

A Book by Michel Foucault that I carried across 3 continents and never managed to finish even though it had a sexy title (Something like “on sensuality and pleasure”)

Other than that, I for some reason feel the need to finish every book I start, even if it is utter shite. Therefore I have read some real doozies!
like:

The Sunday Philosopher’s Club by Alexander McCall Smith - given to me as a gift and boy did this book blow. I didn’t have the heart to tell my mother in law how truly crap it was. Hope she doesn’t buy a copy for herself!

I actually read 6 of the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series. This is an amazing feat I think in that I despise fantasy fiction. But I had nothing else to read!

Those Shopoholic Books by Sophie Kinsella - given to me by a friend who said she had felt the urge to destroy the books and anyting that they had touched upon finishing reading them. I read them anyway. And they sucked!

I’m sure I have wasted a good 6 months of my life reading crap! :slight_smile:

66

Yeah, Naked Lunch was one of the worst books I’ve ever read. Possibly one of the most overhyped books ever, even if it was a “free speech champion”.

67

I sat down and sped-read Moby Dick after I got my BA. It’s not bad. In fact, I was pretty good at speed reading at the time and some parts played out in my head like a film.

Dat’s good writing. :slight_smile:

These days, I’m very picky about what I read; ergo, I don’t read many bad books.

I figured someone had to defend Melville. :slight_smile:

68

A friend of mine focused on Melville in his doctoral thesis, so it can’t be all bad! I’m actually very eager to try it again now. There are some copies available online, but at the moment I’m still busy with Peter Pan and about to start some Virginia Woolf.
I also quite enjoyed Naked Lunch when I read it, about 8 years ago. I never knew there was much hype about it, although I guess there must have been since there’s a movie.
Have I mentioned that Chinese historic novel, Three Kingdoms, yet. I can’t for the life of me figure out who’s who in that book. I’ll have to sit down and study all the names first.

69

The movie though called Naked Lunch seemed to be based on Borrughs’ book JUNKIE. I haven’t read Naked Lunch though…maybe the author was so stoned that he wrote the same auto-biographical story twice.

70

Yes, the movie seems to be more about Burroughs’ life and the process of writing the novel (NL) than it is about the novel itself. I actually have the vcd version somewhere in this apartment, and would like to find the dvd version somewhere not in this apartment.

71

[quote=“porcelainprincess”]James Joyce: Loved Portrait and Dubliners. Loved the first couple dozen pages of Ulysses. Had no use for the rest of the book.

[/quote]

I liked the chapter at the pub, where bloom has walked off to collect his bet on the sly. i got through about 2/3 of it. maybe have to try again :slight_smile:

72

Junkie is very different in style from Naked Lunch - it’s actually written in lucid, readable prose that makes sense, and while written about being under the influence, doesn’t seem to have been written under the influence. Naked Lunch is an attempt to capture the fevered hallucinations of a heroin addict that doesn’t quite work.

73

OK, I raced through Naked Lunch and couldn’t get into Junkie. Now I’m worried. :astonished:

74

Never been able to finish anything by Joyce.

Moby Dick. I couldn’t even finish the Cliff Notes on that when it was required for my Am. Lit. class! The only part I liked was the part about Queekweg (sorry, don’t remember how to spell it).

Henry James was required for Brit. Lit. I finished The Turn of The Screw but just. Horribly tedious.

Now, for a great read, Morrison is, I think, my fav. author and I loved Beloved and anything else I’ve ever read of hers. In fact, I’ve read the novel Love three times now and I just can’t stop! Planning to read it again next week! The writing is just so tight and kinnetic! She’s a marvel!

75

housecat, I agree about Love, I really like that one, and Sula. However, I admit to being a non-fan of Beloved. Just couldn’t get into it. I love Ulysses. And I won’t apologize! :laughing: But I could never even pick up Moby Dick. Just like I can’t pick up the Life of Pi now. Doesn’t appeal.

Did anyone read Blindness by Jose Saramago? Or Travels With a Tangerine by Tim Mackinson-Smith(sic)? Both were surprisingly good reads.

76

anything by Virginia Woolf. I never succeed reading them without falling in sleep.

77

OK, so I went to the bookstore to pick up some summer reading, and inspired by the discussion we had here ages ago I decided to go for books that I always wanted to read, but never got around to. And the THE ONE that I just couldn’t get into.

MOBY DICK. I will read it, oh yes, I will read it…
ULYSSES, James Joyce
THE TIN DRUM, Gunter Grass. Saw the movie, loved it, and always wanted to read the book.

So which one should I start with?

78

By far the least favorite book that I’ve read is Daniel Quinn’s “Ishmael.” I’ve slogged through many boring books (the whale chapters in Moby Dick, the first 300 pages of Joyce’s Ulysses) but Ishmael was the first time I literally threw the book across the room because I felt it was so insulting to my intelligence.

The premise of the book is that it’s a Socratic dialogue between some young man and an enlightened talking ape about the nature of the world, human development, the value of truth, whatever. The ape presents a dumbed down version of Malthusianism (which was basically discredited by economists by the early 20th century) as some sort of revolutionary thought that The Man is trying to keep down. The ape also uses some of the most fallacious analogies I’ve ever seen and pretty openly insults the young man (and, by extension, you) if you dare to disagree. A sample bit of dialogue would go…

Ape: Human development is like a man riding a bicycle off of a cliff. He doesn’t realize he’s falling, but when he hits the bottom, he will surely be crushed!

Man: I’m not sure about that. I think economic development has brought prosperity to a lot of people in the world.

Ape: Then you deny that a man falling off of a cliff will be crushed?!

Man: No, it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t think it’s that simple…

Ape: You mean, you think that if a man were to hit the ground after such a great fall that he’d get back up as if nothing happened.

Man: No, it’s just that…It’s so hard to twist my mind around your brilliant, enlightened thoughts.

Ape: Yes, human development is like a man riding a bicycle off of a cliff. And man’s invention of medicine is like a juggler juggling a chainsaw, except that a chainsaw accidently chops off his arm, and then a pirahna suddenly bites him in the ass

Man: You’re right! I see it so clearly now! How Society has so blinded me to the Truth! Surely our civilization is doomed!

79

[quote=“alidarbac”]Ishmael was the first time I literally threw the book across the room because I felt it was so insulting to my intelligence.
[/quote]

I did exactly the same thing. I hated that book. Everybody kept telling me “Oh you’ve got to read Ishmael. It will totally change the way you think.” What a load of crap. Same goes for The Celestine Prophecy.

80

The single worst book I have ever read was also responsible for my only extreme failing grade in my entire scholastic career. Z For Zachariah. Absolute shite.

Harry Potter was medicore tat I couldn’t finish, as was the Da Vinci Code. Seriously, I honestly believe all the talk of the Harry Potter books being “classics” does an immense disservice to real classics like Roald Dahl’s work, CS Lewis’, and all those others.