Bringing a friend on a date/general advice

I’ve been friends with a lovely Taiwanese woman for a few months. She’s an international student at my university, we’ve hung out at school occasionally but never outside. I really enjoy her company so I asked her out. She agreed, but requested her roommate could join us. I suggested we keep it one-on-one but had no problem if it made her more comfortable.

My questions are:

  1. Was I clear enough that I like her more than as a friend by suggesting we go alone? I want to maintain our friendship if she’s not interested, but I also want my current intentions clear to her. I’m unsure if she’s even aware.
  2. Is her bringing a friend a red flag for me? Or is it just a safety precaution and/or typical in Taiwan?
  3. Should I bring a friend as well? She suggested it as an option.
  4. Are there any customs I should be aware of regarding dating/relationships?

Any responses are appreciated.
An edit as clarification: We are both students similar in age.

A Taiwanese girlfriend of hers maybe is ok, some people do that here but would not say its normal. Also most dates here now days are one to one, but yes, she may feel unsafe, where is she/you in?

If she bring her boyfriend or guy maybe she wants also a message just friends.

As for what customs on a date, it really depends on her. If she was been there a long time she should know local customs and norms though. Taiwan has very open people (Taiwanese can many anyone women or man, such as women marry women) but also some more traditional people mostly from smaller cities, so it may matter where she is from too.


Assuming you are living outside of Taiwan, this is not abnormal. If you decide to bring a friend, invite one that won’t blow your chance. If it does, accept the error and move on.

Lots of customs to understand if this moves forward. Get ready for a big ride cowboy. :beers:

I’m making the assumption (and hoping) that her roommate is female. We’re in Canada, not a very nice city.

So maybe to be safe if not a nice city (If you mean not nice to mean in crime?). I would not worry about it too much, just go out and see what happens and hope you can talk and chat. Make her feel comfortable talking or being with you, if she is not doubt she would go out more.

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I have a buddy willing to come, but he’s a wild card. He might try to make me look good but I can see that going too far. I’m definitely overthinking this.

You’re right, I should just hang out and enjoy. She’s extremely friendly, I have no doubt she’d want to do more even if she’s only interested platonically.

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Go out and have a good time with your newly found friend. Live life to it’s fullest. You will do well!


Your date’s friend is there to make sure you’re normal.
Sheet, when I first started dating my (Taiwanese) wife, she brought one friend on one date , another friend on another date, and then weeks later to karaoke with her college classmates, guys included, and I am 10 years older. Had a fun time.
So, yes, don’t worry.
I wouldn’t bring your guy friend. Be a stud and just hang with her and her friend. Take the spotlight.


This is the Taiwanese equivalent of what we in the West would call a “double-date”, except it’s 2 vs. 1, and not 2 vs. 2. This is usually practiced by younger, more conservative, and less experienced daters such as students (just like double-dates in the West).

She is still interested, and she is still considering this a date. Don’t worry.

Unless you’re a teacher at the school. Then please don’t date her.


It means she doesn’t want to move too fast, or wants her friend’s opinion of you, or is still slightly uncomfortable around you/ wants to remain friends.

No need to bring your own friend. It’s not a double date.


Eh, I respectfully disagree. I don’t think he’s getting friendzoned (yet), but to me this is kind of an intel gathering to see how comfortable she feels around him or what her friend thinks. The ball is still in the air, but this seems more like a meetup than a date.


Good side point. At least use good judgment.
If this is the case, you represent the entire community.

Use proper discretion and be a good ambassador to those wearing the same colors.

Her and I are both students :slight_smile:


This used to be pretty common in Taiwan, not so much these days. It could be that she’s from a more traditional family, or that she’s being more cautious because she’s in another country. She has to make sure you’re not an ax murderer after all.

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just go on the date and see what happens. If things go well, it’ll probably be just the two of you on the next one. Don’t bother bringing your friend unless her roommate is also looking for a date.


Yeah, I know. Isn’t that what we would call a first date in the West?

I don’t want to raise any hopes, but I’m thinking possible threesome.

Unlikely, but shouldn’t be discounted.


My thoughts exactly. This could end very well for the poster. Just don’t order food that is too spicy.


Eh, not really. I’d call it a meetup, something I’d do with people I have zero romantic interest in.

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Just… avoid paying for both of them. I think splitting the bill should be the default if she brought her friend. Or you can offer to pay for her meal, but make it clear you mean only her. Unless the friend is also romantically interested in you of course (joke).