Meowoof
Aww man, I was going to start the new thread with this one:
Wife: Did you enjoy our visit to the art museum?
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: Really?! I think you weren’t even paying attention!
Husband: Of course I was!
Wife: Oh yeah? Then tell me one thing you remember seeing there!
Husband: There was a room with naked ladies. I saw a nice pussy there. I even took a photo!
Wife: Oh! You are disgusting! You always have such a dirty mind!
“head of the cat department”
Whoever knew such a job existed?
Herding cats is a challenging, if not rewarding, profession. 
Black cats and the tv
“if you don’t stop kicking my seat, kid, I’m gonna scratch you up”