I’ve driven here for over a decade. It isn’t hard, but you have to assume everyone is not paying attention and/or blind (seriously).
The following might help:
-Taxis always straddle lanes and drive too slow (when empty) or too fast (with fare). If you are not going to let them merge in front of you, stand on your horn, otherwise you’ll be in a wreck and YOU’LL be in the wrong.
-That dumbass standing three feet out onto the street with his/her back to oncoming traffic waiting for the crosswalk light to change CANNOT hear you coming. Honk loudly. It never ceases to amaze me how often people pull this sort of retardedness. The Taiwanese have always lived in close quarters so they have not developed (or have lost) the sense one is born with that tells you when a threat is creeping up behind you.
-Blue delivery truck drivers are first rate TaiKe cocksuckers. They speed, they will not let you merge, they will run reds and corner very very hard. Keep your head on a swivel whenever they are near (same with cabs).
-NEVER fuck with a bus, they WILL do what they want and you cannot fight it. Buses have this incredibly annoying habit of picking up riders on the outside, then going all the way to the inside lane then going back to the outside at the next stop 300 yards down the street, it is fucking hack and annoying as hell, but they are king of the jungle.
-Taiwan traffic is actually some perverse marriage of right of way and who ever is bigger. The feeding chain is as follows: Buses and Heavy truck > Cube vans and blue trucks > taxis > cars > small cars > big bikes > scooters > bicylces > pedestrians. KNOW YOUR ROLE. If you want to get gully and move up the food chain (as taxis like to do on occasion), make sure you have given yourself an out, or you’ll wipe out.
-Scooters are a parasite that you will grow to loath, a huge portion of scooter drivers are under-skilled, under-experienced, and just plain inattentive. A typical Taiwan right of passage is to graduate high school, get a scooter, go back to your old high school and show off your scooter and your new gayass Japanese boy band haircut, then return to the school a month later with your tail between your legs and your arm in a sling (or on crutches) from you first scooter accident. Dumb kids driving too fast and swervin like Mervin Fernandez (see how many of you get that reference). These little two wheeled menaces will also pass you on the inside when you turn right, and they will turn right onto busy streets without looking (be prepared to stop). ALSO if you get in a wreck with a scooter, get out of your car quickly and snap a picture, because that little prick may well take off down the street if it was his fault, leaving you with a nice scratch or dent to repair on your dime. In Taipei avoid the Civil Blvd surface road unless absolutely necessary, this is ground zero for scooters in TW.
Quick Scooter Aside: Many Taiwanese learn the road on a scooter as oppose to in a car, so once they graduate to a car, they drive their four-wheeler, like it was a two-wheeler. This usually means squishing in as close to the stop line as possible at a red light, passing on the inside or shoulder (a Taiwan highway tradition), weaving in and out of lanes, and not committing to a lane until the best one presents itself (straddling two lanes).
-While it is imperative you drive defensively, it is also important to not drive like a complete pussy. You NEED to muscle into to certain lanes, because if you don’t show the requisite amount of gumption, you’ll be stranded where you are forever. You gotta use the force sometimes when merging or changing lanes in the city. The good thing is people aren’t going very fast, so there is time to react.
-Racer boys and their rice rockets. Luckily you can hear these tricked out lawnmowers coming from a mile away (even easier to spot when the hyped up yao-toh Canto-techno is blaring out the windows), and on a sunny day you may get blinded by the shit orange dye job on their head when the sun hits it, that being said, stay in your lane and let them pass. These fools will soon turn their Honda Civic into an accordion, so it isn’t necessary that you help them. They swerve uncontrollably and are often driving 2 to 3 times the speed of every other car. World class ass clowns.
-Gravel tuck drivers. These binglang chewing, Whisby drinking, LongLife smoking, Taipee sippin, ger chang’n lads aren’t the threat they were a decade ago, but be careful, those rickety rigs they drive here aren’t maneuverable, nor do they brake quickly. Let em go.
Two rules that should keep you safe:
-horn often
-assume everyone will do the dumbest thing imaginable.
Taiwan traffic has improved immensely over the last decade, and it is rare to be stuck in traffic, but traffic is always one of the last things to evolve into a first world standard when it comes to the developing world and Taiwan is no different.
Driving a car in Taiwan can be enjoyable, but it can also be insanely frustrating. You need to adopt a very laid back demeanor when you drive or you will go batty.
have fun, be safe.
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