Apparently, long Covid removes your eyes, nose and mouth and turns your hands into paws.
At least he managed to find the energy for a trip to IKEA during the pandemic.
Also, he’s gonna have trouble with that phone call, seeing as he has no ear holes either.
That wily virus! 
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Well … Not really funny as such, but there seem to be so many of these now that gallows humour is making a big comeback. Some other football player apparently keeled over yesterday, for reasons unknown.
Yes.
It’s been confirmed as an acute case of climate change.
You got me. 
I think I saw that one in the news, assuming I’m thinking of the same case.
I read that it’s being ascribed to commotio cordis - this rare event where impact to just the right part of the chest during just the right part of the cardiac cycle* can induce ventricular fibrillation with a high risk of death if not immediately treated.
(*the 40-millisecond period containing the upslope of the T wave, or perhaps the 3 months following an mRNA vaccine shot. 
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