Moderator’s Note: This post was deleted by the original poster. :raspberry:
Sandy, I am sorry to hear your sad story. I hope that you and your sisters are strong enough that you realize your father was wrong and you did not deserve the terrible treatment he gave you, and that you are able to enjoy life.
Ten years ago, I almost married a girl who had been abused as a child and suffered greatly as a result. When I met her she was a beautiful asian girl dancing naked on a stage in a strip club. She called me over, we talked, we dated, and I discovered that she was a very nice person with serious emotional problems who badly needed a real friend to provide love, comfort and support, not just a bunch of men who wanted to use her.
Her problems began because she was adopted from Korea to the US when she was 3 years old. She is not pure Korean, but because she was dropped off at the orphanage in the night, she will never know who her parents are or even what nationality they are. What a terrible thing that must be. And, while I don’t know how she was treated as a baby I do know that most adopted kids have trouble and she was no exception.
In her new home the natural daughter and son got special treatment that she did not, and they treated her terribly. Other kids teased her, calling her a ch*nk and a g**k. Her adoptive mother had a nervous breakdown, would throw dishes, yell at her, and beat her with a stick and a hairbrush. Her adoptive father is a Chinese american and believes in strict discipline so any time she misbehaved he treated her harshly when what she needed was love and comforting. At one point when she was a small child the parents dropped her off in a car in the middle of nowhere. Another time they locked her up in an institution for almost a year and didn’t communicate with her. But the worst was when she wet her bed as a child (out of fear no doubt) and the crazy mother thought it was intentional so they made her sleep in the bathtub for several months with no blanket or pillow.
Obviously that kind of abuse had a serious effect on her. When I met her she was this beautiful sexy girl, and that was all many people thought of her, but I discovered how miserable she was inside. She hated her job as a stripper. As she put on her makeup and got ready before work I would see her transform. I saw her getting serious, the fun, playful side disappearing as she got ready for business. While she did the job partly for the piles of money she made, it was also for the attention, because she needed people to tell her she was beautiful. So she got up there and danced, and all these disgusting perverts drooled over her and made crude comments, she put on a great show, and they were dumb enough to believe she was having a good time, but she would come home depressed and exhausted. She hated the work, but like a drug she needed the attention and the money. I got to know a few other girls in the business and they too seemed miserable and emotionally damaged.
In addition to her line of work, the physical and emotional abuse that she suffered from also caused other problems: suicidal depression, inability to handle money responsibly, etc., and she once told me she will be suicidal for life. While I hope that is not true, I dated her for several years, almost married her, and I do know that the damage inside of her is far greater than anyone can possibly know. So, as I said, Sandy, I hope you are doing well. And I hope that whenever someone knows of a child who is being abused they try to intervene and try to educate the abuser of the serious harm they are doing.
Sandy, I think you’re so brave to share this here. I had a horrible childhood too, and I feel so blessed to have survived it. I think you’ve taken the most important step which is recognizing that something was very wrong in your home. Good luck to you!