Is there a difference between beign positive and being arrogant?
- Yes
- No
- Maybe/Depends/I don’t know - See comments
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Of course there is. 
I agree, but can you give some examples?
Well there’s this one guy who’s always very modest, but he thinks things are going to work out well, and another guy who’s an arrogant wanker and always moans about how evrything’s going to turn out shite because the world’s run by incompetents.
Basically I don’t see much connection between being positive and being arrogant.
Brian
But in some ways if you are overly positive about something it could seem like you are being arrogant right? Or is this too philosophical?
I don’t see the connection either. I’m positive there isn’t any. 
What is the point of your question? :?
Yes, can you flesh this out a little?
An off-the-top-of-the-head comment could be that being positive about others empowers them to do things and become better, whereas being overly and publicly positive about ones own abilities (one definition of arrogance) disempowers others and makes them feel small. That’s stuff we all need to work on, especially me.
Is that the kind of comment you expected/wanted?
I didn’t expect or want any certain kind of answer. It’s a general question. Some people think someone is positive where another person may think that person is arrogant. Let me think for awhile and try to reformulate the question…
This the Dilemma of the Thesaurus. Every adjective or adverb in the English language has multiple synonyms that, in a strictly literal sense, describe the same quality but have subtly (or not so subtly) different connatations. You can put a positive or negative spin on any quality with your choice of which particular adjective to use:
“He’s very self-assured.”
“He’s cocky.”
Or as many of us have heard in Taiwan:
“You are so fat!”
“You look very strong!”
Now that’s strange. Why did I post that as M.L. instead of Mod Lang, when I logged in as Mod Lang but never as M.L.?
This is an issue I’ve thought about quite a bit. Though I’m fully aware of my weaknesses, I’m not bothered by them. I handle most situations with confidence and optimism. I’ve been around long enough to figure out that for me, the bold approach to life’s little challenges generally works best. That bothers some people, particularly those who haven’t quite figured themselves out yet. I’m sympathetic to their situation, but I’m not going to change who I am or how I go about doing things because someone’s got some confidence issues.
I’ve developed a barometer that works pretty well when I need to decide whether I’ve crossed the line from confident and positive to arrogant. I look at who I’ve offended. My gut instincts and powers of observation are usually pretty accurate, so I can usually figure out if the person I’ve offended is a self-assured, actualized, person, or someone who chooses to stew in misery most of the time. If I’ve offended someone who is difficult to offend, then I know I’ve been arrogant. If I’ve offended someone who is easily offended, then I know there isn’t a damned thing I could have done, or wanted to have done, about it. I’m not totally heartless–I always HOPE the person who feels insecure around me can get over it, but I know that the problem doesn’t lie with me.
I dont think there is any link between being positive & being arrogant. Unless I suppose you think of it as being unrealistically positive about
your own abilities at the expense of other people .Then in that situation I guess this could be interpretted as arrogance :
eg This statement would be considered by most to be arrogant :
“That bothers some people, particularly those who haven’t quite figured themselves out yet. I’m sympathetic to their situation, but I’m not going to change who I am or how I go about doing things because someone’s got some confidence issues.”
This falls into the “proud contempt of others” defintion below.
Here is the definition of arrogance :
[i]Arrogance (Ar"ro*gance) (#), n.
[F., fr. L. arrogantia, fr. arrogans. See Arrogant.]
The act or habit of arrogating, or making undue claims in an overbearing manner; that species of pride which consists in exorbitant claims of rank, dignity, estimation, or power, or which exalts the worth or importance of the person to an undue degree; proud contempt of others; lordliness; haughtiness; self-assumption; presumption. “I hate not you for her proud arrogance.” Shak.
Synonyms – Haughtiness; hauteur; assumption; lordliness; presumption; pride; disdain; insolence; conceit; conceitedness. See Haughtiness[/i]
doublepost
[quote=“Scuba”]This statement would be considered by most to be arrogant :
“That bothers some people, particularly those who haven’t quite figured themselves out yet. I’m sympathetic to their situation, but I’m not going to change who I am or how I go about doing things because someone’s got some confidence issues.”
This falls into the “proud contempt of others” defintion below.[/quote]
Disagree. He’s not expressing contempt, he’s accepting their nature and realiing that he cannot do anything about their problems.
I’ve had a few former coworkers who fell into the “always irritated about something” category. Not my problem, except that they tended to be the backstabbing kind.
[quote=“MaPoDoFu”][quote=“Scuba”]This statement would be considered by most to be arrogant :
“That bothers some people, particularly those who haven’t quite figured themselves out yet. I’m sympathetic to their situation, but I’m not going to change who I am or how I go about doing things because someone’s got some confidence issues.”
This falls into the “proud contempt of others” defintion below.[/quote]
Disagree. He’s not expressing contempt, he’s accepting their nature and realiing that he cannot do anything about their problems.
I’ve had a few former coworkers who fell into the “always irritated about something” category. Not my problem, except that they tended to be the backstabbing kind.[/quote]
Matter of opionion I suppose. Perhaps I am wrong as in the survey of responses 100% of people (ie you )disagree with me.
However…I wont change my opinion just because you have confidence issues . I am sympathetic to your situation however I am not going to change who I am or how I go about things because you have confidence issues.
Now doesnt that sound a little arrogant ? ie that the fact that you disagree with me is due to some issue you have rather than the that I may actually be wrong ?
Take your point on office wingers. You cant please all of the people all the time & its not worth trying
I’m positive it’s a stupid question.
Call me arrogant if you like.
[quote=“Scuba”][quote=“MaPoDoFu”][quote=“Scuba”]This statement would be considered by most to be arrogant :
“That bothers some people, particularly those who haven’t quite figured themselves out yet. I’m sympathetic to their situation, but I’m not going to change who I am or how I go about doing things because someone’s got some confidence issues.”
This falls into the “proud contempt of others” defintion below.[/quote]
Disagree. He’s not expressing contempt, he’s accepting their nature and realiing that he cannot do anything about their problems.
I’ve had a few former coworkers who fell into the “always irritated about something” category. Not my problem, except that they tended to be the backstabbing kind.[/quote]
Matter of opionion I suppose. Perhaps I am wrong as in the survey of responses 100% of people (ie you )disagree with me.
However…I wont change my opinion just because you have confidence issues . I am sympathetic to your situation however I am not going to change who I am or how I go about things because you have confidence issues.
Now doesnt that sound a little arrogant ? ie that the fact that you disagree with me is due to some issue you have rather than the that I may actually be wrong ?
[/quote]
Come on now, you can’t equate a difference of opinion with a lack of confidence. You’re comparing apples with oranges.
Once again, I feel no contempt for folks who are threatened by me or my behavior. I often change my behavior when I realize that I’ve offended someone who isn’t normally easily offended. I simply meant that you can’t go through life worrying about every person who is threatened by you. You’d never get anything done, and some folks are threatened for reasons that don’t warrant a change in your behavior.
For example, many of us have taken leadership roles at one time or another. Effective leadership requires confidence. Sometimes some of the people you lead aren’t very confident. My experience is such cases is that these folks will either feed off of your strength, or resent you for having that strength. You can’t cater to these folks too much, or you’ll become a weak leader who can’t lead the strong members of the group, the ones who generally contribute the most to the group.
I don’t feel offended by the fact that you consider my statement arrogant, and I don’t think you lack confidence because you disagree with me. I don’t know you, and even if I did, I would avoid making any judgments about you until you forced me to.
Fair points Tomas.
How to lead people in Taiwan would make an interesting thread, better than this topic as Fox has so eloquently pointed out !
I think an interesting aspect of the challenge of leadership is how you get the best out of the various personality types in your team.
As you point out , you can take an approach that works for the “strong”
(self confident by your definition) members of the team. The issue with this in my mind is that it really only caters to one (possibly 2) of the 4 major personality types (Driver, Expressive, Analytical, Amiable) . Different types often tend to exibit different perceived levels of self confidence.
All these types can be very productive if lead well or unproductive if lead inappropriately. It requires a level of flexibility from the leader to bring out the best in each individual. eg with an Analytical a very strong approach could drive him into his shell, but this might be the right approach for the Driver. etc
There are some interesting cultural differences here too but I wont bore you with my opinions on those.
Perhaps we should split the thread. Leadership is an interesting topic to those who find themselves in the hot seat.
My experience has led me to the conclusion that without self confidence, employees can play very limited roles in a company. These folks are often the first to initiate gossip, group whining, and back-biting, which sabotages efforts to build a team mentality. Very few are able to make the transition from timid and hesitant to confident and initiative-taking.
I think “confidence” as opposed to “arrogance” would be a better comparison.