My son (now 12) has not seen his mother for at least 6 months.
The last we heard about her is that she is teaching in BANGLADASH English, and that she has a salary of 100,000.- She will go there for 6 months, than she told my son she will go only for three months. A friend (my son never saw) came to school, brought him cookies and told him that his mother will stay in Bangladesh for 6 months.
However, beeing already 15 years in Taiwan I have learnt that Chinese people may forget a birthday but will never forget to contact their relatives during Chinese New Year. Even from abroad they will call their relatives.
I went to the police and told the officer, that my son is missing his mother and we suspect that she may be abroad. The friendly police officer checked the computer and said, that she has not left Taiwan, but he cannot tell me where she is. She is still registered in our common home, which she sold 2 years ago.
I filed a missing person! Funny questions: since when is she missing (we live apart 5 years) and what did she wear when she disappeared (I have not seen her for 3 years), but since she called and visited my son in school sometimes she was obviously alive.
I hinted the police office if she may be in jail. He answered for me un-understandable, that this is her privicy and I will not get this information. Hmm, I am separated, but if I would live with her and she comes not home anymore because she is in jail, than it is privicy???
I found out that she is insured via an “union”. Is that a possible cover name for a jail???
I want obviously get divorced.
How can I find out if she is in jail?
Would a jail term get me the divorce? If how?
Sorry she left qwerty, but most likely she is not in jail or other trouble. Most likely she just got tired of the obligations of being a mother and the hassles of being a wife and is enjoying her freedom – maybe teaching in Bangladesh, maybe still in Taiwan, maybe on the Riviera with some rich guy she met, maybe for a brief respite before returning to Taiwan, maybe for the long term.
True, I don’t know anything about your wife except what I’ve heard from you, but chances are likely that she’s doing just fine but is having too much fun, or is too busy or got tired of dealing with you, so she just hasn’t gotten around to contacting you. Yes, that’s a crappy thing for her to do – especially not contacting her child – but she’s an adult and that’s how adults often behave.
I wouldn’t think about whether her being in jail is grounds for divorce, because that’s so far-fetched. She’s probably not in jail. She’s probably doing just fine but was too rude to let you (plural) know where she is. But after 5 years of separation and now this stunt, it may be time to initiate a divorce. I don’t know whether one needs particular grounds for filing a divorce in Taiwan but, if so, such grounds are probably very broad and have been met in this case.
While it must be very sad having the mother of your child drifting out of his life, if that’s the way it is there may be little you can do about it. In which case, perhaps you would be best off learning to forget about her, get on with your life and help your son to get on with his, making new friends and enjoying new pursuits for the both of you. I’m not suggesting you badmouth her – that would definitely be wrong – but if she is choosing to abandon the two of you, you should do your best to think positively and move forward rather than hoping that she will change her behavior and come back, something that will make you miserable and over which you have no control.
How can I find out if she is in jail?
Would a jail term get me the divorce? If how?[/quote]
I would say that being seperated for 5 years is reason enough for getting a divorce.
Good luck brother, and don’t speculate on her whereabouts too much. It’s just going to drive you nuts. Go see a divorce lawyer and tell him the story and that you want a divorce.
Ha ha. Taiwan is one of the only countries in the world where adultery is a criminal offense.
Turn yourself in for adultery and go to jail.
But I’m sure it’s not as difficult to get divorced here as qwerty thinks. I believe there has been a discussion on forumosa previously of the grounds for divorce and there will surely be another one momentarily.
I tried many times to get divorced, but the Taiwan law is very weak. There are only 10 reasons to get divorced, but I missplaced the paper. Out of my head these are:
she is married again
she is serious sick
she commits adultery
she is in jail
she threaten me or my family
she abonden me (that part is refused by Taiwan court with “A man cannot be abonden, only a woman!!!”)
it is not sure if she is alive or dead for over 3 years
(rest I forgot)
A big problem is to go on with my life!!!
It is adultery to have a girl friend and in Taiwan there is STILL a jail sentences of up to 12 months for adultery (or equivalent of 4900 NT$ per day)
Living with my son alone it gives me a lot of troubles with my job. I am not able to travel, since I cannot let my son alone at home! A friend would be of a great help, but that would be again counted as adultery (even if it is just a friend).
There is a possibility that she is in jail. I built up a company with her as (Chinese) chairman. Than she got mad, locked the door of the company, kicked me out (refused to extend my working permitt) and still sold stock. There is a chance that one of the shareholder found her, although she moved around all the time, there is a chance that she is in jail.
Lawyer: I paid 60,000 NT$ for talking to a lawyer, with the result, we cannot do anything!!! A priest is much cheaper to be a listener!!!
I have a certificate from the hospital that she scratched my face. Fine, a divorce reason, however, the certificate does not say that SHE did it!!! Without a wittnes for that, I cannot do anything with the hospital certificate either.
[quote]I wouldn’t worry too much about YOUR going to jail for getting a GF. I hope that hasn’t put you off women for 5 years.
I can’t imagine it’s that hard for a man to divorce a woman in Taiwan. Get a new lawyer.
And I’m not clear about the work permit? Are you Taiwanese or not? If not, can’t you get divorced in your home country?[/quote]
I know from one of my friends whos wife disappeared for one year, and he got a gf in the meantime. The police broke into his house at 4 am, finding him and his girl friend in the bed, … bang ADULTERY !!!
The wife “forgave him”, but he lost all …
I know many cases where the divorce is difficulty. Like here. I don’t know where she is. So how can she get a divorce letter? The house holds registry is only for Taiwanese, which is also the place where you are registered to be married or not. I cannot change that!!!
I am from Austria, got in the meantime permanent resident. My marriage is not registered in Austria and according to the lawyer it is a local matter.
Only thing I could do is to leave Taiwan! My son only speaks Chinese, NOT German and English, … I am 49, … who would hire me?
Legally, I have no idea…Are you still getting your ARC from your marriage? And what now about your work permit? From…? I guess my question is, why get divorced now? It doesn’t sound like your “wife” is making your life hell.
Additionally, I’m curious now… why can’t your son speak German or English? You’ve been here 15 years…he’s 12.
My wife was English teacher, so we spoke to HER practice only English. When I moved out with my son, I kept that, since I do not speak Chinese, and there are much more people around us, who could eventually help me in translating English Chinese than German Chinese.
I have an APRC (permanent resident), therefore I got also the open working permit, …
To get divorced is a necessity to be able to look for a girl friend
I know that my wife makes my life difficulty, but I have no $$$ to change it, … not even a gun, but I don’t know her address anyway (joke).
In my home country a separation of two years would be enough to file divorce, … but not in Taiwan!!!
[quote][quote=“qwerty”]My wife was English teacher, so we spoke to HER practice only English. When I moved out with my son, I kept that, since I do not speak Chinese, and there are much more people around us, who could eventually help me in translating English Chinese than German Chinese.
I have an APRC (permanent resident), therefore I got also the open working permit, …
quote][/quote][/quote]
I still don’t get it. You don’t speak Chinese…how do you communicate with your son? In what language do you say “Time for school?”
ROC Civil Code Article 1001 stipulates that a husband and wife are mutually obligated to live together except when legitimate reason and excuse exist for separation. Thus, if Wife moves out without good cause, Husband may sue her for compliance with the statutory obligation.
ROC Civil Code Article 1052 lists the following grounds for statutory divorce:
Bigamy.
Adultery.
One spouse ill-treats the other so as to render living together intolerable.
One spouse humiliates the linear ascendants of the other spouse such that living together becomes intolerable.
One spouse deserts the other spouse in bad faith.
One spouse has a loathsome incurable disease.
One spouse has an incurable serious mental disease.
One spouse has made an attempt to end the life of the other.
Where one spouse is uncertain for a period in excess of three years as to whether the other spouse is alive or dead.
Where one spouse has been sentenced to imprisonment for not less than three years.
Section II of the same Article also stipulates that one spouse may apply for a divorce upon the occurrence of a significant event, other than those set forth above, which makes maintenance of the marriage difficult.
You need to send a letter (perhaps via the court) demanding your wife to return to live with you. If, I think after 6 months, she refuses to do so, you can file for a statutory divorce based on her abandonment of you and your son.
If you do not know her whereabouts, you can send the letter to the address of her HH registration and or publish the demand in a newspaper.
Tigerman, thanks for quoting all the reasons. It seems that cheating with stock selling will most likely not give her a sentence of 3 years, …
In my case she asked me to move out (in hand writing) what I did (with my son).
I read over and over the reasons and try to figure out how I could make it, but cannot find anything useful. All reasons are easy to “construct” if you have the money behind you.
Is there any useful thing to find in the fact that she said she is in Bangladesh, while the police tells me that she has not left Taiwan?
[quote=“qwerty”]In my case she asked me to move out (in hand writing) what I did (with my son).
I read over and over the reasons and try to figure out how I could make it, but cannot find anything useful. All reasons are easy to “construct” if you have the money behind you.
Is there any useful thing to find in the fact that she said she is in Bangladesh, while the police tells me that she has not left Taiwan?[/quote]
So, you moved out of the home that you were previously sharing? That complicates things, as it looks like you abandoned her… although you have a note from her asking you to leave.
I would say that her lying about her current whereabouts would qualify as bad faith.
