Following on from the slew of media stuff expressing a general climate of disappointment with President Ma after his first 100 days, I have been experimenting with a new class activity. (Adults)
The idea is to put them into groups that are tasked with forming a political party. We list some issues to get them started, and then I give them time to decide on what their policies will be. Then each party chooses its candidate, and all the candidates sit at the front and answer questions from the rest of the class. I’ve had mixed results, partly because some of them take it all far too seriously and get bogged down with minutae, but there have also been some good suggestions:
Cross-strait relations: build a bridge! Budget constraints might mean that for now it may only be wide enough for scooters, but hopefully it can be widened in future.
Women’s rights: the bikini law. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
The economy: turn Yang Ming Shan into the world’s largest casino. Income from this will be enough to abolish taxes.
Traffic problems: scheme to limit the number of cars on the road. Following the success of Beijing’s odd/even license plate policy, it was suggested that Taiwan introduce a colour-coding scheme. No blue cars on Monday, for instance.
The environment: an innovative scheme to reduce waste, requiring a new role for the police. Specially trained officers will be sent to interview members of the public and ask them “what’s new and interesting in your life?” (This is the opening gambit in my conversation classes.) Anyone who doesn’t have a good answer will be guilty of wasting their life, removing all justification for the environmental harm resulting from their existence. The only solution would be immediate execution. I quite like this one as it offers a quick remedy for several problems. I’m hoping the government will license private operators, ie me.
So if you have nothing else to do why not spend a little time thinking of ways that Taiwan can be improved? It’s all very well sitting around bitching about things, but if you don’t come up with constructive alternatives then nothing will change. It’s up to you!
With luck I’ll get enough ideas from this to put together a manifesto which I can use as the basis for my 2012 presidential campaign.
Thanks in advance, and remember: Taiwan is a democracy now. Your voice counts!
Abolish Tongyong Pinyin.
Reopen the brothels.
Legalize gambling, but keep a tight control on casino development.
Legalize marijuana.
Restrict development in beautiful, natural spots of Taiwan.
Legalize right turn on red.
Open up nude beaches.
Introduce ferry lines to Hong Kong, the Philippines and other nearby destinations.
Institute a new police force that gives a shit and enforces driving laws.
Get new driving laws.
Create new, stricter driving courses and make them mandatory.
That’s a good one. Some of the students thought about having a test for foreigners wanting to live in Taiwan that requires them to demonstrate knowledge of local language and culture, and also issuing them with a sort of communication book to be signed by their neighbours every month. You have to take it to the police every month to show that you haven’t annoyed anyone if you want to stay.
I thought of suggesting some kind of “dating license” so that only people of good character could shag Taiwanese girls.
[quote=“Loretta”]Some of the students thought about having a test for foreigners wanting to live in Taiwan that requires them to demonstrate knowledge of local language and culture, and also issuing them with a sort of communication book to be signed by their neighbours every month. You have to take it to the police every month to show that you haven’t annoyed anyone if you want to stay.
[/quote]
I’m starting to see why this activity was not a roaring success. I thought it would be an opportunity to say something a bit silly, but everyone else in the world appears to take it seriously.
[quote=“Loretta”]I’m starting to see why this activity was not a roaring success. I thought it would be an opportunity to say something a bit silly, but everyone else in the world appears to take it seriously.
I guess I’ll go back to talking to the dog.[/quote]
I think it sounds like a damn good idea for a class. I do like the bit about the record book for foreigners, but perhaps just putting them in a ghetto and tattooing their arms with ID numbers would be easier.
What did Poagao do on the subway for the good of Taiwan? I’m DYING to know!
[quote=“Loretta”]I’m starting to see why this activity was not a roaring success. I thought it would be an opportunity to say something a bit silly, but everyone else in the world appears to take it seriously.
I guess I’ll go back to talking to the dog.[/quote]
Good idea, each forreigner should get one dog assigned to, to guide him through the troubles of local life and to have somebody to talk to. Between, what happend with your second dog? Or did you pass the test and you are allowed to have just one guiding dog now.
Other ideas:
Each forreigner needs to get a local to teach him the art of driving on the island, and he isn’t getting a license if he didnt finish the following lessons:
Running a red light (preferable on a scooter with full speed, for the weak it’s ok with a SUV too, but you have to at least score one scooter)
Illegal U-turn, not completet without having at least two other vehicles performing an emergancy beak and 5 others honking the horn
Running over a scooter rider (can be passed if it is performed with the red light task together)
Reversing on the freeway back to the missed exit
Right turn on a busy 3 lane road from the furthest left lane
Left turn on a busy 3 lane road from the furthest right lane
Passing a intersection 10 seconds after the light turned red
Pressing your way through the flow of pedestrians on a busy intersection when turning right
Zick-Zack overtaking on the freeway with minimum distance to other cars (everything over 2m will lead to disqualification)
Driving out of a side road with complete ignorance of traffic (just on a busy road with higher speed of running traffic)
Illegal parking (red line, second row, if possible thrid row), performed during peak hours of traffic, make sure there is another guy doing it on the other side of the road right where you perform it to ensure maximum impact
Opening doors of illeagal parked cars (red line or second row parking), getting a scooter down scores bonus points
List not yet completed, feel free to ad.
This should solve couple of problems on the island, less crowds, improved environment, more space on streets soon, etc.
[quote=“sandman”]
What did Poagao do on the subway for the good of Taiwan? I’m DYING to know![/quote]
Found me wasted at the central station and put me on a train. Otherwise my untimely splat on the front of a subway train would surely have traumatized the workers.