Do you understand Taiwanese women?

RNRN16 · December 23, 2015, 12:10pm

I have to explain some situations around foreign guys and Taiwanese women ,
I will keep to fair to both.

In Taiwan, I know most of women are actively to meet foreigners; because I am, too.
I know there are many dating website that could be meet different guys, some of wired,
some of normal. agree ?

If you are interested in Taiwanese women, at first ,you can say that looking for long term relationship , short term relationship, or only for fun even only dating,
I think they can understand, also willing to communicate ; if you are unlucky, most of them are unreasonable.
I heard some stories about Taiwanese women, like to complain ex, easy to get jealous, even ask for boyfriend only see them, can not hang out with other women
( although simple friendship ); its so stressful to men. Via communication, why dont you invite your girlfriend to join your group sometimes ? Or why dont you introduce your girlfriend to your friends , right? You can try, how will you know ?

quest · December 23, 2015, 7:13pm

I’ve read both posts on the (two) threads you started. I’ll try to answer both here.

To answer your question simply; no, I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been brought up in the Taiwanese culture will ever truly understand Taiwanese women. They may say they do. It may look like they do. But they don’t.

Some time ago I met a Taiwanese girl in the UK. Long story short, we’re married and have a child. As I’d lived for many years in SE Asia I thought I had a very clear understanding of all Asian cultures. I was wrong.

As a Westerner, I approach almost every aspect of life in a fundamentally different way to you. SE Asian cultures, having recent exposure to the West via our chums the French, have lost some of the cultural niceties that make Taiwanese so… well… impossible to understand.

I could easily write a 10,000 word thesis on the cultural differences between us and only scratch the surface, so there’s no point in me going into detail. The bottom line is quite simple; I will never really understand where a Taiwanese person is coming from nor, I suspect, will a Taiwanese person ever understand me. The best you can hope for is mutual acceptance that differences exist. Trying to change either yourself or your (potential) partner is fraught with difficulty and likely to end in tears.

My wife and I are very different people. We acknowledge this and simply get on with our lives together, accepting that things between us will never flow easily. Fortunately, we both enjoy the challenge.

In your case, ‘G’ has indicated to you, fairly clearly, that you’ve overstepped his boundaries. You have suggested that his behaviour towards you doesn’t meet your expectations. Why are you pursuing this relationship? Stop wasting your time. Walk away, learn the lesson and move on with your life.

In conclusion, you make a very valid point. If both parties clearly stated, from the beginning, their expectations for a relationship ranging from, ‘You’re hot and I just want to have wild sex with you’ to, ‘I really like you and I want to see where we can take this relationship’ life would be a lot simpler. Perhaps you’d like to try being open - from the beginning - with your next partner?

Wishing you the very best of luck

PS. I do realise that - as you’re a Taiwanese woman - non of the above will make any sense to you at all.

Andrew0409 · December 23, 2015, 7:39pm

I am half Taiwanese half Korean who grew up in Taiwan before moving to the US around 10. I moved back about a year ago. And I found that I can not date a Taiwanese women. I understand Taiwanese culture and I hate it. My parents were very open and did not raise me like most traditional families in Taiwan. My Taiwanese family members, as much as I love them, do things that just annoy me.
For example, they are extremely controlling of their children life, or at least very involved. Or the the Ancestor worship and superstition. I’m a Christian and I don’t like having to go to their event’s like burning paper money on certain days. Theres a long list of things I don’t like. I don’t like most Taiwanese girls mentality.

I want to have a relationship with just me and my partner controlling or future together.

So I’ve pretty much gone out with western women unless it’s like a friends with benefit or one night kind of thing.

RickRooney · December 29, 2015, 11:47pm

sorry what was the question in that big rambling post?

ranlee · December 30, 2015, 4:13am

Is it wrong that I read OP’s post by translating it into Chinese?

OP, it’s time to let him go. There are other fish in the sea.

If you need answers, this is what I can say…

[quote=“RNRN16”]
If you are interested in Taiwanese women, at first ,you can say that looking for long term relationship , short term relationship, or only for fun even only dating,[/quote]

I can assure you this is not only Taiwanese women. I’ve met and heard of…people (not just women), that also look for long term, short term, and one night stands.

This will solely depend on whether your significant other is out going or not. My gf isn’t the biggest fan of mingling with my friends (who are mostly foreigners) bc her English isn’t top notch and is very shy. So, it took me almost half a year to convince her that my two friends (whom are a married couple), that they are also her friends as well and that she’s not tagging along to me going to hang out with them.

robert_the_bruce · December 30, 2015, 5:05am

Your rant is starting to smell like the "‘Fatal Attraction’’ movie. Guy met woman, had good time with her but he was married, had kids, didn’t tell the mistress. He tried to cool down with her, the mistress went ballistic, turned into a psycho and started to stalk the guy and tried to kill his entire family. Just don’t get yourself too involved with a guy before knowing him well. Keep your legs closed and try to understand him well before further actions. How hard is that ?

On_The_Brink · December 30, 2015, 5:31am

To clarify, are you saying Christianity is superior or just that you don’t like doing their superstition vs. yours?

Ermintrude · December 30, 2015, 7:02am

Yes. Next question.

On the brink, what is unclear about not wanting to participate in others’ religious practices? Do you think that’s unusual?

Robert the bruce, actually, it’s harder than you seem to think because most people lie if they want to have sex with you.

zender · December 30, 2015, 7:06am

People also lie when they don’t want to have sex with me.

You should hear the excuses. :aiyo:

Ermintrude · December 30, 2015, 7:07am

I can imagine! ‘Those aren’t your REAL elbows, buddy!’

zender · December 30, 2015, 7:08am

Well, I haven’t heard THAT excuse. :liar:

Ermintrude · December 30, 2015, 7:11am

Are you sure? 'Cause … never mind.

diakka · December 30, 2015, 7:49pm

[quote=“zender”]People also lie when they don’t want to have sex with me.

You should hear the excuses. :aiyo:[/quote]

Tell me about it…

I’m on my period.
I’m married.
I’m pregnant.
My husband is working from home today.
I have AIDS.
I don’t want to get AIDS.
I think you dialed the wrong number.
You still owe me for the last time.
I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi.
The restraining order is still in effect.
My daughter will divorce you if she finds out.
Oink Oink Weee!

Zla_od · January 3, 2016, 4:07am

After 10 years of marriage, I consider myself an expert in one particular Taiwanese woman, but my understanding is that there is more than one kind.

If this is not just trolling, then my advice is to listen to “Let it go” until you can sing along with it.

But it is theoretically possible to force a man to marry you. Check out this happy Indian couple: shiachat.com/forum/topic/235 … irlfriend/

On the Brink, religious compatibility is important. Imagine if you recognized the waliyyat of Hz. 'Ali ibn Abi-Talib, while your lover considered him merely the fourth “rightly-guided” caliph. You’d have to fight each other. Or what if one of you was a lapsed Catholic, and the other a psycho xiaojie with a poor grasp of reality.

Andrew0409 · January 3, 2016, 1:06pm

To clarify, are you saying Christianity is superior or just that you don’t like doing their superstition vs. yours?[/quote]

Great loaded question. :no-no: Not going to go into with every person that wants to bait me into this debate with the premise they are “superstitions”

Zla_od · January 3, 2016, 10:48pm

I had to bow to the family altar during our wedding, but I figured “France is worth a mass.”

Winston_Smith · January 5, 2016, 12:30am

No. Every day’s a crap shoot.

Poorprae · January 15, 2016, 1:00am

To clarify, are you saying Christianity is superior or just that you don’t like doing their superstition vs. yours?[/quote]

Great loaded question. :no-no: Not going to go into with every person that wants to bait me into this debate with the premise they are “superstitions”[/quote]

Burning paper money isn’t a superstition? I hope you feel the same way about the power of prayer.

ehophi · February 1, 2016, 1:08am

I’ve been with a woman so convinced that she’s complex, it actually gets in the way of understanding more about her.

She says things like, “Oh, you wouldn’t understand. It’s just the tip of the iceberg.” Then, she becomes very guarded once I try to pry these “deep, secret feelings” out of her. But, once I coax them out, I learn that it’s a bunch of nonsense, just a mishmash of personal biases and delusions.

It’s not made any better by talking with other women about it. “Oh, I think I’m that way, too.” No shit! Four women who all think the same way, and who see it as some deep personal fact about themselves? Color me surprised at how unique someone can convince herself she is with a survey sample of one.

There are challenging differences between men and women that are worth noting (like having a more justice-centered vs. care-centered moral psychology), but there’s also a difference between not letting others get to know you and that you being too deep or complex for others to “understand” it.

ZhendeBaichi · April 25, 2016, 7:00pm

[quote=“ehophi”]I’ve been with a woman so convinced that she’s complex, it actually gets in the way of understanding more about her.
[/quote]

Same here. It’s frustrating if you’re putting a lot of effort into a relationship, but your significant other puts up barriers like at the drop of a pen. Then you find out there’s no barrier at all, they’re just being dramatic and self-absorbed. Slowly learning to avoid people who exhibit that behavior early on. It can be kind of cute in small doses, but considering communication is so crucial to a healthy relationship that’s a huge red flag.