NOTE: this quiz should be taken only by Europeans
who have never been to America or have spent only a
brief time there. Americans who try to take it are likely
to be quite confused–especially if they are American
intellectuals, which may just show how far their image
of Europe is from the reality.
I already know all about America from their films
and television, so I don’t need any advice on how to
behave while travelling over there. TRUE FALSE
Compared to Europeans, most Americans are basically
insensitive. This means it’s almost impossible to hurt
their feelings. TRUE FALSE
In many ways the US truly had the September 11 terrorist
attacks coming, simply from their arrogant manner of forcibly
imposing their so-called culture on other more mature
societies. TRUE FALSE
Americans do not speak correct English as I learned
it in school but are only capable of speaking a
low-grade dialect. It is my duty to bring their linguistic
failings to their attention as often as possible.
The “American Century” has now drawn to a close,
and the 21st Century will belong to Europe.
Europe has always been the real center of world
culture and always will be. Americans will simply have
to adjust to this reality. TRUE FALSE
The ruins of the South Bronx, the savage race riots in
Los Angeles, and above all the high level of violent
aggression among most Americans make Europe look far
more civilized by comparison. TRUE FALSE
America went from infancy to decadence in a single
generation without ever passing through true maturity.
The main point of the European Union is to stop the US
from dumping their goods here and establish markets for
European goods over there. TRUE FALSE
Compared to Europe, America is a very young country. This
means that all Americans are essentially children and must
follow advice from their European elders.
Assign yourself two points if you answered Questions
(1), (2), or (3) as “TRUE.” Assign yourself one
point for every other question you answered as
“TRUE.” Your place in the Eurotrash spectrum is as
1--3 points: Mild Eurotrash Syndrome 4--6 points: Moderate Eurotrash Syndrome 7--9 points: Advanced Eurotrash Syndrome 10 or more points: Severe (& Possibly Incurable) Eurotrash Syndrome
You are totally safe from all signs of this illness only if you answered all the above questions as "FALSE."
NOTE: the Eurotrash Quiz is based on an article that originally
appeared in–of all places–THE EUROPEAN, Robert Maxwell’s paper
published out of London. You can read the entire article and see
how the Quiz fits in by visiting this website at: