Alright! Nice to see you back!
(Although I wish it was for a happier topic.)
Are you still in Taiwan? If so, how did you solve the visa issue? Could you get JFRV through your kids?
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Looks like he left
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You really have to be honest about what your ex wants. If she just had kids to be her retirement plan and carry her family name then sheâll fight tooth and nail.
My experience with women like that has never ended well. They will lie, cheat, bully, recruit others to their cause, and all sorts of unsavory behavior.
I had a past boss much like that. Manipulated her whole family in order to get what she wanted. At the pint she claimed there were affidavits against me I just went straight to her parents and finished it.
There are many examples on forumosa about the psycho xiao jie. They come in all shapes and sizes. And donât necessarily need to be romantically involved.
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I apologize for wanting to analyze this in retrospect, but one should probably not agree to move out from where the kids are, without having already divorced and having half or full custody. Who lives with the kids and takes care of them every day is 80%+ of what a judge cares about, I would imagine. If you somehow have your joint residence with kids taken away from you that puts your position back by a lot.
Not necessarily in Taiwan. If the mother is only taking care of the kids due to the fathers income then itâs a really different outcome. If the mother is only taking care of the kids because of her parents generosity it also changes the situation.
If the father can show that they can financially support their kids and provide opportunities (read private school enrollment) then itâs more likely the father will gain custody.
The tricky part in this case is that it involves a foreigner. If the foreigner has an established life and income in Taiwan and can provide what the judge believes are better opportunities for the kids (especially son/s) then the foreigner will get custody. Although usually with caveats like entry/exit restrictions on the kids with applications needing to be made with the court for trips back home.
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Thanks, this is not what I would expect.
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can you provide websites or emails to these lawyers under 300K?
From my personal experience (a nightmare), Iâd not recommend any of the lawyers Iâd used.
Sadly, in 2014, my ex (and her parents there) committed a 189-day parental abduction of the kiddos (1.5 and 4.5 at the time). I spent countless hours in the Kaohsiung AIT, police station, immigrant services center, with lawyer consultations, to boot (to no avail). I filed petitions and injunctions to see the kids, and all along (for the whole six months), my ex didnât reply to nor answer a single call, respond to a single text (near countless sent regularly) nor email (dozens upon dozens sent 2-3 times a week). Not once. Their building guard(s) also stopped me from delivering gifts after the first two times (all recorded on video). All of my evidence of her playing hardball, of her silence, of her callous disregard and deliberate alienation were submitted to the KHH Courts. I burned the candle at both ends, burned through savings, and exhausted myself to get all that done. Then, months into it, a âmediatorâ final held a side-chamber meeting to sign divorce papers. I told my lawyer I would NOT sign divorce papers, with having received similar advice to yours (from family and friends in the States, locals, etc.). For the first moderated meeting at the Kaohsiung Family Court, my now-ex-wife and her father showed up. I asked the ex-father-in-law to leave, since any negotiations would be with her, my wife at the time. He refused. Instead, they both stood up and left. Weeks went by before the second meeting (all along with NO answer to any request to see or talk with my kids). Weeks passed. Another moderation failed. Weeks more. Finally, at a another moderatorâs meeting, she and her father left once again, refusing to talk, stating, âYou either sign divorce papers or you donât see the kids again.â (That shit wouldnât fly in the States or some other countries.). I literally had a court clerk run out in the hallway, and when they all came back in, I signed. I didnât want to lose another six months of my kidsâ lives. The negotiator and court personnel drew up the document on the spot, permitting me to let me see (requiring her to allow me to see) my kids. Six months. Six. I was finally reunited with Derek and Isabella (by that time having missed 25% of his young life). Then it was another three years of court hearings for custody (that aspect didnât get handled with the divorce signing) and finances after that. Incidentally, I filed a case for violation of my parental rights in a different court (not family court), of my kids rights to a father/parent, for violation of all the rights a parent has my Taiwan penal code. After civil/criminal court three hearings, having submitted ALL of the printed emails Iâd written, having screenshot every single text message sent those 189 days of the parental abduction (with printing, collating, translating them all)âand having collated and translated all into Mandarin (including video submission of visits and rejections by their building guards on CD)⌠the female Taiwanese judge ruled against me, stating, âThere is no proof of the motherâs wrongdoing nor violation of the fatherâs right because the mother did not know that the father wanted to see the children.â AGAIN⌠the judge ruled the mother didnât know I wanted to see the children (though I submitted a hundred-plus texts and emails and videos in total). Farce. Absolutely shameful farce. It was a scam. Thatâs just ONE chapter of that horrendous 3.5 years of hell.
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Iâll never know all that that party of BSers talked about behind closed doors after separation nor for the 3.5 years of hell they put me through. However, I have NO doubt that my exâs father perpetrated much of what transpired (whereas my exâs initial emails after separation mentioned her owing me money, how our bank and investment account would be shared upon divorce signing, etc.). Many have stated it was his vindictiveness that led the way to destroy my relationship with my kids (and to not split our accounts, to not pay back monies owed) in retribution for LOSING FACE by having a divorced daughter, especially since they are buxiban owners and benefited from having a mixed-race daughter and white father as a âdrawâ for more customers to their business. In fact, an email discussion between my ex-wife and I (often written because I worked days and she worked nights) stated, âIf you move out, I wonât let you see the kids. What will people say about my parents? You know how people talk.â She was more concerned about her parentsâ reputation (SAVING FACE) than our marriage at that time. The notion of losing face and the anger that may provoke should surely be included in such threads and discussions.
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Jesus Christ, this might be one of the most heartbreaking paragraphs Iâve ever read here. Thatâs absolutely criminal of your ex and the Judge.
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I made these YouTube videos in 2014 when the ex in Taiwan first took the kiddos for 189 days (right at the end of the time).
I hope they find me via the postings I make to various pages.
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Oddly enough they sound like Christians. Sorry to tar all Christians with the same brush. But thereâs an awful lot of them that are only in it for business. And the ease of manipulating their way into higher status kinds of things. Face means everything to those types. And a lot of the judges and lawyers around Taiwan seem to have gone to Christian private schools when growing up. Doctors too. And accountants working in big companies or as CFOs.
In a couple years theyâll be googling their names, make sure when they do they find you!
Terrible story, so sad for you
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I tried to Google your name and their names, I am sorry to say I did not find you or your childrenâs story. Your kids may not be able to find you, even if they went looking. I expect they have been brainwashed not to want to look for you.
Do you know their Chinese names? You may have better luck finding your kids in the near future. Kids get an email address at school and schools may publish random things about kids. Also, your kids will likely go on Tiktok and Instagram. Try to find your kids. Drop them a note saying you have always loved them and want to talk to them.
You could send letters to your exâs address, but I am sure she would intercept them. You could have somebody hand a letter to your kids, but that is probably not a good idea.
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The ex spent time overseas for college, etc., so a varied outlook on religionâso not sure if that was a factor.
Narcissism and simple vindictiveness are key, Iâm certain.
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Thanks for the suggestions. Yes, I know my kidsâ Chinese names and every few months Google them. Nothing has popped up yet. Iâve periodically tried also my daughterâs Chinese name on the website of the last known school sheâd attended (no news on any changes to her school attendance since 2017)âto no avail.
I can only assume the worst of what theyâve been told, e.g., that I died, etc., to deter them from searching. So I can only pray that they have questions that will pique their curiosity enough to search when they get old enough (now 10 and 13).
Yes, Iâll have to transition to TikTok and Instagram since my old-school focus has been on YouTube, a blog and a FB page for them.
And, yes, some folks have stated I should have a record of rejected mail sent to them (snail mail), but I assume it wouldnât bounce back but rather be intercepted as you stated. Yet Iâve documented all emails Iâve sent, all the unopened Hallmark e-cards sent (no defunct site), which traced if she opened them or not (and none were opened from 2017-2020, though they showed âreceivedâ to the exâs email). Iâve got all that digitally saved.
I appreciate your correspondence. I pray for reunification.
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In the fall of 2017, a Canadian bloke in KHH WhatsAppâed me that he saw my two kids in Ikea, but he neglected to say anything to them (Iâd reached out to expats beforehand to please tell them I loved them and was waiting to see them again).
Another Canadian guy I knew wrote me in 2021 with a photo of them running through Aozidhi Park in Kaohsiung, blurry and late evening (I could just make out silhouettes of them), yet he also said he didnât say anything.
Thatâs all I know or have learned of them in five years.
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Meeting other expats whoâd lost their kids in Taiwan prompted me to write this blog a few years back!
Hire a private investigator? Iâm sure Taiwan has some. Itâs not a pretty option, but desperate times, etc. If I were in your shoes, I would probably resort to that if my searches on my own were coming up empty.
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