I was coaching tennis to a group of kids one day and during our tennis balls collection, a 6 year old boy suddenly came over and started tugging at my shirt. I turned to him and he said “coach …, do you know how to kill a girl?” I said, no. “I do” he said. “You use this knife”…he was pointing at his little “tiddly wink”…“and you stab it into her hole !!”
Of cause, I was totally shocked, but at the same time I wanted to bust out laughing. Controlling myself, I said to him that he was not to say this anymore.
My son and I are in the States now, visiting. He loves playing with my friend’s daughter who’s 10 months older than him, but running around he sometimes looses track of me. He’ll walk through the house, park, wherever, yelling, “Mommmmyyy, what are you?”
This usually cracks me up, but I do want him to learn the correct adverbs, so I’ll answer the question he asked and just let him follow my voice as answer to the question he ment. I can say, “I’m a mommy,” or, “I’m a daughter,” and things are okay. If I ever say, “I’m a woman,” my son just cracks up!
My wife’s been teaching our girl to say “I love you mommy” and “I love you daddy.” Just now we gave her a bottle and were lying on the bed, our girl clutching her toy dog (go go) and sucking on her pacifier (je je), as we wait for her to fall asleep for her morning nap. The girl is babbling all sorts of things and says, “I love you mommy. I love you daddy. I love you je je.”
My 22-month daughter sometimes thinks my English is a valiant but unsuccessful attempt at spoken language (i.e., that the correct way is the Chinese that she knows better).
Me: “Have you been a good girl today?”
Daughter: “Yo(3).”
Me: “Say, ‘yes, Daddy.’”
Daughter: “Yo(3).”
Me: “Yes, Daddy.”
Daughter: “Jiang(3) tswo(4) la, yo(3).”
We got a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor beans (Harry Potter fans will know what I’m talking about). I asked my 6-year old son if he liked the bugger-flavor jelly bean and he responded, “Yes, but I like the real thing better.”
FWIW, the vomit flavor bean tastes quite authentic. I hear the earwax flavor is to die for, and even my 2-year-old recognized the bacon-flavor bean.
When the chieflette was like 2 or so, she several times scribbled on the wall with markers etc.
This being Taipei, of course, the crap paint was uncleanable.
This also being Taipei, it never really bothered anyone that it stayed there to this day.
A couple weeks ago, I came into the living room to see her (now 6 1/2) writing on the wall beside her former glory.
Writing “poop”!
In Chinese!
I kind of flip out, she’s cracking up.
I say something like “Hey, what are you doing?!?! You can’t write on the WALL! You’re not a baby anymore!”
She puts the cap back on the pen and looks at me cool as a cucumber, and says “Then howcome you call me ‘baby’ all the time?”
That’s funny. Sounds like she learned that from you.
Our girl, 1 yr, 10 mos, is picking up language like a sponge. Recently my wife asked her, “What does dog say?”
“woof woof”
“What does cat say?”
“meow”
“What does cow say?”
“mooo”
“What does mommy say?”
“NO WAY!”
We cracked up. It’s not a beautiful phrase and my wife wasn’t flattered. So now she’s taught her a new response for that question: “I love you,” but our girl still likes to answer “no way,” because she knows it gets a laugh.
My kid is 1yr 8 mos now. Today, we were vacuuming the carpets and furniture and he occasionally got to play with the vacuum cleaner’s hose. He let the vacuum cleaner suck his palm in and had a hard time pulling it off (the vacuum cleaner was working at 1400W instead of usual 400W). He kept playing with the hose and looking down on his naked body, he got the most amazing idea ever - he had his lil willy and balls sucked into the hose. Well, his eyes went really big…
I switched off the vacuum cleaner and had a laughing fit. My kid was too puzzled to start to cry - after a while he started to laugh along a bit, but he obviously didn’t get what was so funny about the evil monster machine.
We bought a new refrigerator over the week-end.
The young cowboy takes a special interest in the 'fridge, kind of like its his buddy. He even made me take pictures of the old one with him standing next to it and saying good-bye.
Well, we get te new one delivered, set it up and he’s giving it the eyeball…checking it out. Looks it up & down, rubs his hand over the top and bottom doors. Then…slowly he opens the main door just a wee bit. He see’ s the light inside come on and then he opens it up all the way.
“Hey…there’s no food in here!”
me: “Well yeah…its brand new.”
“They should sell them with the food already in them.”
“I hope that you can learn to talk them out of it first, instead of fighting.”
Well, his eyes went really big… 
