Getting out while I still can

Discussion Open Forum
1

I have passed my third and final year in Taiwan.

For the first two years, I was happy. I lived in a small town. I straightened myself out, learned not to be so shy, saved 10,000 USD, became reasonably fluent in Chinese, lost a hundred pounds, and dated some nice girls. Life was good. Taiwan was good for me, for a while.

After a year in Taipei, I am coming apart. I am angry and bitter. I feel a constant rage at the taiwanese that I know is not rational. I do not want to see them anymore.

So I hide in my room. I avoid crowded places. When I have to buy groceries or attend class, I stick to dark alleys. Baseball cap pulled down over my eyes, I am not here, not here, not here.

I am tired of disappointing the Taiwanese. I am tired of being scrutinized. I am tired of being sized up, judged and discarded in a glance. Spam is too short, too ugly, not blond. We were hoping for a handsome teacher.

By now I’ve spent spent three months looking for non-teaching work. My qualifications get me interviews, but I seem to have a sign around my neck that says: English teacher. No, no thank you. I am a grown man. I am well-read, I am educated, I am articulate, I speak three languages. I have great SAT scores and a high tested IQ. I do not wish to remain in your box. I will not dance for the amusement of children. I know I am capable of more. But not here.

So I am going back to America now.

Two years at a YMCA, a year at Shi Da, that looks ok on paper. But I do not want four years of Buxibans on my resume. It will start to look like the stalling that it is.

I have a ton of money, a family that loves me, friends who want me home for christmas. I am not stuck here. I can go home. I can take the GRE. I can enroll in graduate school. I can train as a translator. I can take the civil service exam. I can teach German for the army. I can do a million things, but I cannot do any of them here.

I don’t know if anyone will read such a long post, but I had some things to get straight in my head. To those of you who are staying, i wish you all possible good fortune. But for me, it’s been bad, it’s been good, and now, it’s been over.

2

Don’t be afraid. It will all work out for you…

Even though when you get home you may, from time to time…

  1. Feel like leaving Taiwan was a mistake.
  2. Feel like you never even went to Taiwan in the first place.
  3. Get fed up with all the people who think you were in Thai-LAND.
  4. Think romantically about how easy your job as a buxiban monkey was.
  5. Realize that teaching in Taiwan sucked from you most of your ability to think.
  6. Miss the people you left in Taiwan.
  7. Hate the people you left in Taiwan.
  8. Get a hankering for some choudoufu.
  9. Find reverse culture shock weird and trippy.
  10. Wonder how you became the person you became.

Remember what Nelly Furtardo said, “Any new endeavour will be difficult, and will require lots of hard word, but it will be worth it in the end.” I think she was paraphrasing someone else, but you get the gist.

3

Go. There are other places to be, other things to do. Go, and don’t worry about it.

I got to the point at which I was rereading “Heart of Darkness” just to remind myself, don’t kill the natives, don’t kill the natives. I started counting the days until I would leave… started at 105, and counted off every single day. Went back to do grad school and open some doors that wouldn’t open here, then came back for love. I’ll leave again, too.

Go somewhere and do something where you can enjoy yourself. Hope the air is cleaner there. Luck.

4

Thanks, both of you : )

This is Mcaffee’s Knob. It’s a 2 hour walk from my house.

5

BS,

You should have no regrets at all.

Those are some outstanding achievements. Don’t be bitter about the other crap; you did very well. Especially the 100 pounds. :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

Good luck wherever you go (btw, where is that photo?) and welcome back when you return (they all do). :wink:

6

spam I feel you. Now, I’m finding myself getting pangs for leaving this place. I never really hated it, never really loved it. But the idea of up’root’ing myself another time just makes me sad.

Best of luck in your new phase. I’m sure you’ll do well.

7

A sober man knows when it’s time to go. :slight_smile:

No one said you had to stay. Take it easy. :slight_smile:

8

Just keep in mind

when you’re feeling this

[quote]1) Feel like leaving Taiwan was a mistake.
2) Feel like you never even went to Taiwan in the first place.
3) Get fed up with all the people who think you were in Thai-LAND.
4) Think romantically about how easy your job as a buxiban monkey was.
5) Realize that teaching in Taiwan sucked from you most of your ability to think.
6) Miss the people you left in Taiwan.
7) Hate the people you left in Taiwan.
8) Get a hankering for some choudoufu.
9) Find reverse culture shock weird and trippy.
10) Wonder how you became the person you became.
[/quote]

Don’t get too close to the edge of:

:laughing: You can take the boy out of Taiwan, but not the Taiwan out of the boy. You are now imprinted for life, for better or worse.

9

Go, have fun. ‘If something’s not right, it’s wrong’. Nothing at all to stop you from coming back if you want to.

10

Good luck. Life takes us to many different places, and before Taiwan lands in the recycling bin on your computer…go.

Tons of money? Why are you still here?! AAAAAAAAAh…them 7-11 lunchboxes hey!

11

[quote=“beautifulspam”]
By now I’ve spent spent three months looking for non-teaching work. My qualifications get me interviews, but I seem to have a sign around my neck that says: English teacher.[/quote]Y’know, three months is not a long time if it’s your first time outside the edutainment industry and you don’t have a track record here. A lot of the time, you don’t get hired because even though your skill set matches their requirement, you’re too expensive, or they just imagine you’re too expensive without even asking what you want. Of course many HR ‘professionals’ will try to convey an impression that it’s you that is unworthy. It makes them feel better about themselves to do so.
If you hate being the bushiban performer and there’s no gun to your head to keep you doing it, move on. Good for you for recognizing that. I have no pity for those who do something they hate for no other reason than lacking the imagination to move on.

12

JD wrote [quote]A sober man knows when it’s time to go. [/quote]

Guess that’s why I’m still here.

Spam, at least you have the money to leave and set yourself up. ESL is a bit of a deadend for most of us so I guess it’s time to figure out what you want to do. Stay in Taiwan and you could become one of those horrible cynical expat drunkards.

John

13

Thanks again for all the positive responses. I really feel like this is the right decision, at least for me.

Mother Theresa wrote:

Yeah I’ll be back eventually.

Mcaffee’s knob is located along the spine of the appalachian mountains near Blacksburg in SW Virginia. It is one of the more popular stops along our stretch of Appalachian Trail.

Under that cliff is a deep natural natural cave that makes for pretty good overnight shelter. I think I’ll build a fire and camp there next Wednesday. :slight_smile:

Redwagon wrote:

Given time, I might be able to fight my way out of the “glass box,” but most of the foreigners I’ve met who seem to have gotten out, in fact are still requried to teach at least a few hours a week, even if their title says writer, editor, manager, Director of Studies, whatever.

The hard truth is that while some folks have gotten out, most managers don’t want to take a chance on a teacher trying to break out of the buxiban business. You’ve seen those help wanted ads in the taipei times that specify, “no english teachers, foreign work experience required.”

So, given my skills, knowledge, academic ability and financial resources, why not go back to America, get some of that foreign work experience, or even a master’s degree, and if I decide to come back later? I can come back as a professional with solid training and experience.

There’s also my emotional state to consider, and new opportunities opening up in the USA.

A sea change is underway in American politics following the midterm elections. Many thousands of evil republicans are now being fired or will be in the coming months, leaving vacancies for loyal democrats like Spam to jump into. There’s also a german proficiency exam I need to take to qualify for certain federal jobs, and they don’t offer that here in taiwan.

Namahottie wrote:

[quote]spam I feel you. Now, I’m finding myself getting pangs for leaving this place. I never really hated it, never really loved it. But the idea of up’root’ing myself another time just makes me sad.

Best of luck in your new phase. I’m sure you’ll do well. [/quote]

I know exactly what you mean! Good luck to you, too.

14

spam, your post is inspiring to me. Keep your head up and posting about your journey. :bravo:

15

I had lots off job offers befour coming here.

Not as english teatchers since I’m not a native speaker.

I was offered engineer job at pratt&whitney (american aeroplane engine manufacturer) not shure if I speled that one right.

A company building switchboards located close to my gf home.

Non off them hapend because I don’t speak chinese so since you do you should not have anny problem.

In the end I ended up in a shipyard siting in a office comunicating with suppliers in europe and somhow they transfered me to design and I now die from bordom while drawing pipeconections, watertanks and profiles.

Have to work 8-12 hour day, drive 3 hours everyday and still they exspect me to find time to learn chinese.

I give up my tester job and a posible service engineer job in rolls royce atomation for this :wall:

If I did not have my gf I would be out off here tomorow, but if I had money like you I would probartly start on my own with something.

16

Soon after I arrived in Taiwan, a good friend said that:

you know it’s time to leave when things about Taiwan and the Taiwanese start pissing you off.

For you, it’s that time and be proud that you’ve managed to save and study, allowing you to do this. But you cannot erase your three years here… and you shouldn’t. Like someone said earlier, one day you may find yourself thinking back fondly about your time here. Take what you want from your experiences here, but do not disgard it, it was 3 years of your life.

However, do not come back. There are other places to see, things to do.

I wish you well.

Mike

17

Guess that’s why I’m still here.

Spam, at least you have the money to leave and set yourself up. ESL is a bit of a deadend for most of us so I guess it’s time to figure out what you want to do. Stay in Taiwan and you could become one of those horrible cynical expat drunkards.

John[/quote]

i take extreme umbrage at this comment…i prefer to think of myself as an emigre not an expat…plus you left out the drug abuse…

18

Soon after I arrived in Taiwan, a good friend said that:

you know it’s time to leave when things about Taiwan and the Taiwanese start pissing you off.
However, do not come back. There are other places to see, things to do.
Mike[/quote]

If everyone here followed this bit of very practical advice then these boards would be a very lonely place.

But you’ve acheived the best of both worlds…You’ve saved money, lost weight, learned some Chinese and broadened your life experience to the tenth degree. The best part is you knew exactly when it was time to leave, and are taking the steps to do so. Make sure you get around to seeing the best of Taiwan as a knowledgable tourist before you take off.

Well done. :slight_smile:

19

BS,

Come to the next HH so we can at least meet you before you go :slight_smile:

20

“You got to know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em.
Know when to walk away
and when to run.”

Spam, it sounds like you know in your heart its time to move on.
Take what you’ve gained and continue the trip.
All the best to you.